Life is a Song
by ficlite
Summary: redo of season 6, starts after the musical. Buffy goes to L.A. in hopes of avioding her friends and family, but runs into some friends there that could force her back to Sunnydale. BA.
1. Chapter 1

She was tailing a large, brownish demon when it went into a small bar. Thinking the demon would stand out, she followed it into the club. She wasn't gonna let that demon get away, not after it had evaded her for two days.

Entering the club, she was shocked to see dozens of demons loitering around. Even more surprising the few humans in the club weren't shocked by the multi-colored demons. losing sight of the demon she was after, she thought a drink might help her horrible week.

"Hello, sweetheart, what can I get you?" a rather flamboyant, green demon asked her from behind the counter.

"Just a coke and whiskey, please."

"Sure thing." he left to get her drink. When he came back he asked, "You're new here, aren't you?"

"Kinda." she started. She was cut off by the lousy karaoke of a small orange demon.

"What is this?" she asked the green bartender.

"Only the hottest demon karaoke bar in L.A. I'm proud to say I run it. My name's Lorne, by the way." He stopped talking for a minuet, looking her over. She was petit, dark-haired, and looked rather heartbroken, in his opinion. "So what's your name?"

"I'm… Anne."

"So, Anne, any reason you're walking through the toughest part of L.A.?"

"Not really."

"Maybe you should partake in the club's main attraction."

"You mean sing?"

"Yeah."

"Why the hell not, nothing better to do. Got a list of songs to pick form?"

"Yeah, here."

"Thanks." After selecting a song, she approached the stage, her entire body tingling from all the demons around.

Picking up the microphone, she began to sing.

She's gone away  
Still they stay together  
People call me crazy, crazy  
But thus progress  
Think it up forever  
My mind tells me maybe, maybe  
I wish I could drive away to the sunset  
Back to the day that we first met  
Only believe the things I wrote  
Wouldn'ta known ya  
Cross my t's and dot my i's  
Better say hello  
Don't say goodbye  
I'll write sincerely yours and sign my name  
PS, I love you  
Forever and today  
Two weeks go by  
It's like it's been the weather  
The rain falls down  
She's cryin', cryin'  
But thoughts progress  
She thinks about forever  
Their hearts are bound  
Lyin', lyin'  
I wish I could drive away  
I wish I could drive away to the sunset  
back to the day that we first met  
Only believe the things I wrote  
Wouldn'ta known ya  
Cross my t's and dot my i's  
Better say hello  
I'm gonna wave goodbye  
I'll write sincerely yours and sign my name  
PS, I love you  
Forever and today  
All the heartache and the pain  
All the words you've said in vain  
It'll never be the same  
I wish I could drive away to the sunset  
Back to the day that we first met  
Only believe the things I wrote  
Wouldn'ta known ya  
Cross my t's and dot my i's  
Better say hello  
I'm gonna wave goodbye  
I'll write sincerely yours and sign my name  
PS, I love you  
Forever and today  
Forever and today  
Forever and today  
PS, I love you  
Forever and to

While she had been singing, Lorne took the opportunity to read her. Her reading was difficult, as she was very guarded. His original assumption that she was heartbroken had been right, but what confused him was her thoughts of a boyfriend who loved her, yet she apparently didn't love. He could sense that her heart belonged to someone else.

When she returned to the bar Lorne asked her, "Are you busy at home?"

"Not really, why?"

"I was wondering if you'd stay as our singer for a while?"

"look I'll have to think this over. There are some people here in L.A. that wouldn't be to thrilled with my being here."

As he walked into the bar, he saw a tiny girl with short, choppy black hair singing on the stage. _She's pretty good_, he thought to himself. Ordering a scotch from Lorne, he sat at the bar and listen to her sing. He couldn't see her very well because of the large, orange demon in front of him.

"Forever and today  
All the heartache and the pain  
All the words you've said in vain  
It'll never be the same  
I wish I could drive away to the sunset  
Back to the day that we first met  
Only believe the things I wrote  
Wouldn'ta known ya  
Cross my t's and dot my i's  
Better say hello  
I'm gonna wave goodbye  
I'll write sincerely yours and sign my name  
PS, I love you  
Forever and today  
Forever and today  
Forever and today  
PS, I love you  
Forever and today"

He watched her slip off the stage quickly, almost like she didn't like the attention. She sat down at the bar, resuming her drink. He heard Lorne offer her a job. He listened for her response and was shocked to hear her say, "Look I'll have to think this over. There are some people here in L.A. that wouldn't be to thrilled with my being here."

Maybe he could help her, that's what he did right helped people? He turned to give her his card but she was gone.

"She was sad, no I'd say more on the edge of depressed." Lorne said to Angel, after Angel asked about the girl that just ran out of the bar.

"What was her name?"

"I think she said Anne, but she hesitated, so I don't think it's her real name."

"Do you think she'll be back?"

"I hope so, her reading was kinda wacky."

"What do you mean?"

"She's torn up inside, more than depressed, its like her soul was torn in two. I think she's got some power behind her, though."

"Why?"

"I couldn't get a full reading, in fact all I got was that she's got a boyfriend, and that she seems to be trying to work something out."

"Oh, maybe I should see if she gets home safely?"

"I think she needs space, not protection. Besides, you dyed your hair!" Lorne seemed very pleased with the change in hair color.

"Cordy did it, she thought the purple would be a pleasant change, and I haven't figured out how to change it back."

"It doesn't do much for the bruises, though."

"I don't think anyone can recognize me, Gunn almost staked me."

"Tough luck, but I like the purple."


	2. Phone calls can ruin everything

As Anne shuffled through the dark alley, she thought about the "job offer." Dawn didn't need to be protected from Glory, there wasn't much evil brewing, and the normal patrolling the Gang could handle. The alley let out onto a slightly busier street, and she bumped into someone.

"Sorry." she said looking up. "Gunn!"

"Do I know you?"

"I only saved your ass, from, like, ten vamps."

Her studied her face for a long moment before exclaiming, "Anne! What are you doing in these parts? I haven't seen you in ages."

"Just needed to get away from life for a while, what about you? Still patrolling by yourself?" she asked walking down the street, he followed her.

"Kinda, I part of a P.I. Organization, now."

"Sounds fun."

"Its really not, the boss is very depressing."

"Really?"

"Yeah." his phone started to ring. "Can you hold on just a sec.?"

"Yeah."

"Hello," he said into the phone. "Yeah… Patrolling by Lorne's… yeah… this late… can't it wait till morning, its not like you get out much?" Anne watched him intently. 'It's the boss,' He mouthed. "Yeah, I'm on my way. Good-bye."

"So what's the verdict," she asked. "You free or gotta work?"

"New case, he seemed real interested in it. Though he's more into the cases since his girl died. Call you later?" He asked, giving her a peck on the cheek, before running off in the opposite direction.

Looking at her watch, she saw that it was four o'clock. She knew everyone at home would be sound asleep, she took out her cell and called, not wanting to talk to anyone. The phone rang four times, then the answering machine picked up in Dawn's voice . "Hello, you've reached the Summers residence. We're either busy, out, or asleep. Please leave a message, and we'll call you ASAP. Thanks, bye." The machine beeped.

"Hi, guys. Its Buffy, I'm sorry for running out like that, but I needed to get away. So, anyway, I'm fine, but I'm gonna be gone for a while. Please don't worry about me, I've got some stuff to work out." She took a breath. "I call you with details, maybe. Anyway, don't worry, I can take care of myself. Bye."

Closing the phone, she felt tears picking her eyes. For about the hundredth time that night she thought about going to see Angel, but quickly shot the idea down.

Gunn walked into the lobby of the hotel, that was their office. Looking around he saw Angel standing in the corner, Cordy searching for a manila folder, and Wesley talking to Lorne. Angel was the first to notice him.

"This had better be important, Angel, cause I blew off a friend I haven't seen in a long time…"

"You have friends?" Cordelia interrupted.

"Yeah, and I haven't seen her in a while, and she seemed upset."

"Gunn, you're helping save someone isn't that good enough?"

"I don't know, Angel, is it. Ever since your girl died, to save the world, you've been over-invested in these cases. So, Angel, is it good enough, or do you still hate her?"

"Gunn!" Cordy yelled, as Angel charged at him. Wesley had to pull Angel off Gunn, or else Gunn might have been killed.

"Rubbing salt into these wounds isn't going to help things right now, Gunn, so can we just all get along?"

"No, I'm sick of watching every word I say, cause it might hurt his feelings. She died to save the world, and all the lousy people in it. So if saving the world is good enough, then she did loads of good."

They were cut off by a ringing phone. Gunn pulled his out of his pocket, "I gotta take this." Turning his attention to the phone, he said, "Yeah?…Umm, nothing major, are you hurt?…There isn't much to help with, yet. …I'll keep you posted. Where are you?… You find the Gang?… I'll try to catch you later. … Are you sure?… Ok, then, good night." He shoved the phone into his pocket, "Sorry, kinda important."

"Look, I know I've been extra broody, but she was… is my soul mate. I was in love with her even when I was Angelus, that's why he had such a fascination in her. I can't just get over her, I've tried a lot. As for hating her, I hate that she didn't ask for my help, that she was able to…"

Again the phone rang, this time the office phone. "Angel Investigations, we help… Willow. … Yeah, he's here… Sure hold on a sec." Cordy handed the phone to Angel.

"Hello?… What?" the phone clattered to the counter, Angel looked at it shocked. "She's alive." He said walking out the door, onto the patio behind the hotel.

Cordelia rushed to pick up the fallen phone, "Willow, what's going on?… When?…What do you mean she's gone?… Just took off? That's so Sophomore Summer of her. … She was in Hell, then?… And you ripped her out?… How could you have not known? She was your best FRIEND!… I'll tell him. … Yeah I think he will be. … He's not there yet. Right now he's at shock. Did you tell him where she was?… Ok, we'll keep and eye out, but do you really think she'll come to L.A.?… I guess I would go back to my only true love, too. Bye." This time she hung the phone up right, and hugged herself as if wording off the cold.

"So, she's really alive?" Wesley asked, already knowing the answer.

"Kinda, yeah, she's alive."

"What do you mean "kinda"? Did a vampire get her?"

"No, she's pulling an "Angel", she's in a deep depression, I guess. Not that her friends even noticed." She said, the last part more to herself.

"Cordelia, do you think we should check on him?" Wesley asked.

"No, I think he needs, deserves a little brooding time, alone, right now." She walked into Angel's dark office, looking for something to do.

"So I guess our mission is a no go, huh?" Gunn asked, feeling uncomfortable because he didn't know this girl the way the rest of them did.

"Yes, I think it is." Wesley said, and walked out of the room.

Gunn is left alone in the room, he had not seen Lorne leave but he wasn't in the room. Angel walked in, not the tall, confident stride that Gunn was used to seeing. _No,_ Gunn thought,_ he looks like he's carried the weight of the world alone so long he can't stand tall anymore._ Angel stopped walking toward his office, seeing Cordy there and not wanting to deal with her. He turns and heads for the stairs, but Gunn stops him by asking, "Is it really that heavy?"

"Is what that heavy?"

"The weight of the world."

"I don't know, it seems that way, but for the best answer you should ask the person that did it for six years." Angel answered, turning to face Gunn.

"Who should I ask then?" Gunn watched Angel turn away from him again.

"My Girl." Angel was gone before Gunn could ask him anything more.

AN: this is my disclaimer: I own nothing, if i did i wouldn't be sitting home writting Fanfiction. also i know i didn't have a disclaimer in the first chapter, but i don't like to put them in the first chapter. i think it ruins the flow of the story. Please Review, thanks.


	3. Chapter 3

The cold was like a comforting blanket, it assured her that she wasn't in the fiery pits of Hell. It also reminded her of the only person she loved anymore; it was strong, cold, and fleeting. She pulled open the club's door, warm air rushed at her and she scowled. For the first time she remembered Cordelia's words from the fall after she killed the Master.

_"Buffy." Cordelia called, and Buffy stopped walking. "You're really campaigning for bitch-of- the-year, aren't you? " Buffy turned to face her. _

_"As defending champion, you nervous?" _

_"I can hold my own. You know, we've never really been close, which is nice, 'cause I don't really like you that much, but... you have on occasion saved the world and stuff, so I'm gonna... do you a favor." _

_"And this great favor is…" Buffy asked, rather sarcastically _

_"I'm gonna give you some advice. Get over it." _

_"Excuse me?" _

_"Whatever is causing the Joan Collins 'tude, deal with it. Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet, whatever, but get over it. 'Cause pretty soon you're not even gonna have the loser friends you've got now." _

_"I think it's about time you start minding your own business." Buffy said she definitely did like this conversation. _

_"It's long past."_

Maybe, in some way it was the same. But that time, she wasn't dead long enough to go to Heaven. She sat in the same seat she had the night before, only this time the green bartender, Lorne, wasn't around. She got the attention of the human bartender, and asked if Lorne was in. After he said he hadn't seen Lorne all day, Buffy nodded and walked toward the stage. The spotlight shined down on her, and she started to sing:

" So close, no matter how far  
Couldn't be much more from the heart  
Forever trusting who we are  
and nothing else matters  
Never opened myself this way  
Life is ours, we live it our way  
All these words I don't just say  
and nothing else matters  
Trust I seek and I find in you  
Every day for us something new  
Open mind for a different view  
and nothing else matters  
never cared for what they do  
never cared for what they know  
but I know  
So close, no matter how far  
Couldn't be much more from the heart  
Forever trusting who we are  
and nothing else matters  
never cared for what they do  
never cared for what they know  
but I know  
Never opened myself this way  
Life is ours, we live it our way  
All these words I don't just say  
Trust I seek and I find in you  
Every day for us, something new  
Open mind for a different view  
and nothing else matters  
never cared for what they say  
never cared for games they play  
never cared for what they do  
never cared for what they know  
and I know  
So close, no matter how far  
Couldn't be much more from the heart  
Forever trusting who we are  
No, nothing else matters"

Lorne walked into his bar and heard Anne singing; again he tried to read her. She was less guarded, but he could still only get small pieces of information. She was definitely torn up inside, but she seemed happier tonight. She also seemed to be thinking about family or friends… and demons. Still fuzzy on her story he didn't know what kind of involvement she had with demons, but knew he should probably let Angel know about this, Anne might need protection. He stopped reading her when she hopped off the stage. He saw her approaching him, to talk he figured.

"I thought about it… and I'm in. I'd like the job, if it's still available." Anne said to him.

Pleased, he said, "Then the job's yours, it'll be nice having a cutie in here more often."

"Thanks, I just needed to get away from home, you know. And I didn't have a job, so this is perfect. I just wanted to tell you that, but I can't stay I promised to meet someone."

"You should be careful; L.A. can be pretty dangerous at night."

"Thanks for the concern, but I'll be alright. Not much scares me, anymore. Good-night, and thanks again." Anne left the bar, reentering the wonderful cold.

Lorne pulled out his cell phone, and called the office. "Angel, I think you were right Anne could use some protection, she knows about demons. … She just left to meet someone. Do you want me to tail her?… No, I don't think we need Gunn yet, he's more muscle than brainstorm. … Good-night."

When Gunn got to the park, Anne was already sitting on a park bench her jacket on the seat next to her. Gunn wondered how she was freezing cold, he was and he had a jacket on.

"Anne, what's up?"

"Well, Gunn, I'm gonna be in town for a while. I got a job and everything."

"That's great, and I hope you know I'm sorry about bailing on you last night. The boss is just over-zealous lately."

"I forgive you. Have you seen Lily lately, I heard she runs a shelter know."

"Yeah she does, but she uses the name 'Anne' now."

"I know, Gunn, but it's awkward calling her Anne, I mean it's my name, too. We should go visit her, I haven't seen her in forever." Anne said. He realized she was right; to Anne, Lily would just have to be Lily.

"Sure, I haven't seen her in a while, either." Gunn said standing up, Anne stood and slipped her arm in his. Arms linked they walked out of the park, laughing and joking. As they reached the entrance to the park, Anne's phone buzzed in her pocket.

"Are you going to answer the phone?" Gunn asked.

"Probably should, huh?" She asked as she answered the phone. "Hello?"

For a long while there was silence from Anne. She said she didn't want to talk about it, apologized and hung up.

"Something wrong with your boyfriend?"

"That wasn't my boyfriend! 'Wil' is just _her _nickname. Just people from home that want to talk about things I'm not ready to deal with."

"I can't take it." Willow said. "I'm gonna call Buffy's cell."

"What if she doesn't answer?" A tall, brunette asked.

" Then, Dawn, I'll keep calling until she picks up."

Willow dialed the number and waited. One ring… Two rings… Three rings… and an answer!

"Hello?" Buffy's voice said over the phone.

"Buffy! Are you o.k.? Where are you? When are you coming home? We need to talk about what happened. We need to talk about Heaven…"

Buffy cut her off, "I don't want to talk about it Wil. I'm sorry but I've got to go."

The line went dead. Willow was shocked, Buffy had never hung up the phone on her.

"So is Buffy coming home?" Dawn asked as Willow hung up the phone.

"I don't think she'll be home anytime soon. Sorry, Dawn."

Angel sat in the hotel lobby, alone. He heard Cordelia walk in, and he looked up.

"Hey, Angel, what are you doing?" She asked him quietly, like he was going to snap at any moment. Maybe he was, he didn't know. Everything was a mess, Buffy was alive but something was wrong.

"She never called." Angel answered her after a long moment.

"Who?"

"Buffy." He croaked out. "She didn't tell me she was fighting a god, even when I went to Sunnydale after her mother died. Then she didn't tell me she was alive." He paused, forcing back his tears. "She wasn't in Hell, like they thought, was she?"

"No, Angel, she wasn't." Cordelia said, her voice wet with tears.

"She was in Heaven, and now she's in Hell." Tears ran down his face, unrestrained. "They couldn't just let her be dead. I never thought I'd say that; 'I wish Buffy was dead.' Cordy I've got to find her."

"Angel, she left Sunnydale a week ago, she could be anywhere."

"No, I can feel her… pain, she's somewhere close."

"Angel, you don't know that." He stood. "Angel…" Cordelia called after him, but he never looked back.

"Is he always like this when it comes to her?"

"Yeah, Fred, he is. I just hope if he finds her they don't screw it up, love can only take so much."

Fred just looked at Cordy, clearly confused by what had been said.

* * *

**A.N.** thank you to everyone who reviewed, its nice to know people like your writting. also, sorry about the delay. hope you like this chapter. The song in this Chapter is by Metallica- Nothing Else Matters. Thanks again! 


	4. Chapter 4

Angel had been out searching the streets looking for her for hours. He had doubled back to the cemeteries several times in hopes of catching her patrolling, but he hadn't found her. Now he was headed home, before the sun rose.

Once back at the hotel, he peered in to make sure Cordy wasn't around. Everything was dark, satisfied no one would sit in the dark he entered. He had almost made it to the stairs when he noticed his office door open.

Entering his office he found the windows open, but the blinds were down. Scanning his desk to see if anything was missing, he noticed his picture of her was laying down, not standing the way he left it, and the glass had droplets on its surface. Picking up the frame, a small folded paper floated to the floor. He picked it up and sat down. Slowly, as if dreading what it say, he opened it.

_Angel, there's a lot to tell you, but I don't know how to say it. I'm taking the coward's way out, writing this letter, instead of seeing you. I'm afraid that if I see you I won't be able to leave, to go back home. I wish I could explain better. I closed the blinds so you wouldn't burn to a crisp. And in case you were wondering, I'll always be your girl. _

The note was unsigned and had tear stains on it. He know it was from her without a doubt. Slamming his fist down, he began to cry. It was still early and no one was up yet, so he closed his office door. While he was out looking for her she had come to see him. She had sat where he was sitting now, and wrote this letter crying, the way he was now. She was still his girl, even after he had let her die.

Everyone told him it wasn't his fault, they had all coddled him, all except Gunn. Angel wanted to thank Gunn for telling him to get over, but he couldn't. Gunn, he knew, was right, she had died saving the world, and she had gone to Heaven. He was no longer crying, the longer he thought about what Willow had done to his mate the madder he got. These people who ripped away her peace were her closest friends and allies against evil.

He was ripped out of his thoughts by a knock on the door. "Come in," he yelled. Cordy entered, carrying a small box wrapped in brown paper. She handed it to him saying, "I found it outside your door, maybe you should open it."

Tearing open the paper, he found a small Styrofoam box. He lifted the cover and found another note. Lifting it out, he read:

_I told you I'd always remember._

Under the note was a half gallon of cookie-dough-fudge-mint ice cream, a hollow chocolate pig, and a jar of crunchy Jif peanut butter. At the sight of the box's contents he plopped into his office chair and turned away from Cordelia.

"Who's it from?" Cordy asked. Angel just turn farther away from her, Buffy's notes clasped in his hand. Annoyed with his silence, Cordy left Angel to brood in his office.

Buffy couldn't get the picture of Angel's forsaken office out of her head. It bothered her that he wasn't taking care of himself, and she could only imagine what he would be like after her notes. She was suppose to meet Gunn later but she didn't know if she handle it. She crossed a small street as her phone rang.

With a sigh, she answered, "Hello?"

"Buffy, we need you at home."

"Why? Is there some uber-evil there?" She was angry, didn't he hear that they pulled her out of… she couldn't even think of it without breaking down. "Giles, I can't be around them, any of them. I think I would do something I'd regret."

"Buffy, you have a great deal of responsibly here, you can't just leave."

"Why? I died, shouldn't the Council have replaced me by now? There'll be a new Slayer there soon."

"What about Dawn? Will this replacement take care of her, too?" Giles asked, desperate to get his Slayer back.

"I'm sure Wil can take better care of her than a corpse can." Buffy snapped her cell phone shut; the phone rang again. "Look… Gunn!… I'm on my way to work. … I need to live someplace. … No, I'm not going to scrounge off of you!… look I like my job. … See you later." She hung up the phone as she entered the bar. Seeing Lorne she waved and approached him.

"Anne, just the girl I wanted to see! I'm gonna close early tonight, so you only need to be here for an hour or so."

"Okay, well I'm gonna go get set up."

"Anne, you seem nervous anything wrong? Maybe you should have a drink before you go on?" He said handing her a drink which she accepted walking toward the stage. The D.J., Mike, wave as she dropped off her drink hopping up on the stage.

Picking up the microphone, she looked out at "her" crowed. Lorne had often said they came back just to see her, she doubted that how ever. These people and demons were in pain, or just wanted to get drunk. One stood out, his purple head was turned away from her, and she wasn't sure if he was a vamp or a human. She thought he was a vamp, but he seemed different. Closing her eyes for a brief moment, she began:

Weatherman says, "It might hit ninety - five. "  
September's goinna' feel more like July  
He's callin' for a night that's warm and mild  
I think he missed it by a mile  
He just don't know that you're gone  
I feel a cold one comin' on

Drivin' home gets longer every day  
I found new things to do along the way  
A bar room ain't no place to run and hide  
From the memories of a love that said goodbye  
I'm sick and tired of right or wrong  
I feel a cold one comin' on

Makes you wanta' start thinkin' about drinkin'  
If I don't find a way to ease my mind  
Leave all this behind  
I'm goinna' go crazy. without you baby  
A bar room or that bed room back at home  
I feel a cold one comin' on

Makes you wanta' start thinkin' about drinkin'  
If I don't find a way to ease my mind  
Leave all this behind  
I'm goinna' go crazy. without you baby  
A bar room or that bed room back at home  
I feel a cold one comin' on

A bar room or that bedroom back at home  
I feel a cold one comin' on

Lorne was shocked by the singer on his stage, she had gone though things more powerful than any human and she had come out victorious. Her mind, even with the alcohol, only let small memories out, and those were blurry.

_A long sword fight had taken place, both figures were regrouping, the man faster than the girl. He approached her, taunts flew from his mouth. Her response had been one word, and the fight resumed. There was a change in the blurry man, the couple talked, then kissed. The girl withdrew, said something to the man, and stabbed him. He reached out to her, saying something; the girl just watched._

The scene faded away. Another took its place.

_There were Emergency vehicles are scattered about a street. A girl looks toward the fire trucks, a man is standing there, blurry not only because of the memory but also because of smoke. They stared at each other for a long time. Firemen walk past the man, he disappers into the smoke. The girl stands there a few moments, before finding her friends. _

A final memory flashes.

_The girl clings to the man, they keep glancing at the clock kissing each other. Both are distraught, the girl keeps muttering something about remembering forever._

Lorne was expelled so fast, from the memories, that he stumbled a little. Angel helped him stay upright. He looks for the girl, but she is gone.

"Angel, maybe you should tail Anne."

"Okay," he said, absently, standing, "I'll go see what I can do till dawn. Bye."

* * *

Disclaimer: own nothing

AN: Song from Ch.1 was "Drive Away" from All American Rejects. This ch. song is "Cold One Comin' On" by Montgoery Gentry.

Thanks for all the reviews. Sorry about the delay, hope you like the Ch.


	5. Fearless Leaders

Angel, for the second night in a row, wandered home just before dawn. The night had been a long one. Not only had he tried to find Buffy, but now he was looking for Anne as well. He was exhausted, mentally and physically. Like the night before, Buffy couldn't be found. He was beginning to think that he was crazy, getting notes and phone calls about a cor… . He couldn't even finish the thought he was so disturbed by it.

The night before he left the window and blinds open, entering his office they were shut. Sitting on his desk was another note. He sat down, picked up the note, and turned it over in his hands. He leaned down and picked up the chocolate and peanut butter she'd given him yesterday, he opened the note.

_I did some thinking, after I got a call from Giles. I'm no good to anyone like this, I feel like I'm drowning and there's not much air left. The only air I have left is you; I know staying here will end up getting the people back home in trouble. I know I shouldn't stay in L.A., but I can't go home. The water is getting higher than I am. There is so much to say… that I need to say, but I can't._

_I'm always your girl._

Tears, again, stained the note and smeared the writing. He had spent the night looking for her, and she had again visited him, only to find him not there. He failed her time and time again, even now, and she was still his girl. Tonight, before he went out her would leave her a note in hopes that she would come to see him again. However, he knew that she probably wouldn't show up if he was there, not yet. Right now he couldn't think enough to leave a proper note, so he would have to think about it, later.

Cordy sat next to Wes and Fred, talking about Angel's deepening depression. Fred mostly sat there not knowing much of the Buffy/Angel history.

"I think it's weird that she's back and hasn't come here yet." Cordy said, clearly frustrated. "She should know how he gets, all broody."

"Maybe we should go find her?" Fred suggested.

"Angel and Buffy have this connection because of their love. In addition he is a vampire, so he should be able to find her because she is the slayer."

Cordelia rolled her eyes at Wes' horrible response. "What Wes means is, if he can't find her no one can. She once hid in this city for an entire summer, even the Watchers Counsel couldn't find her. My guess, though, is he already found her, or else he'd be on the phone all the time, not just sitting around."

"But if he's found her, why isn't she around?" Fred asked.

"Like Wes said, there love is deep, so deep that there are times they do things no one else would get but the other. There love is so complex that they've walked away from it more times than anyone can count, and it's still as strong as it was from the first day." Cordy walked toward Angel's office.

Poking her head in she saw a mess. Papers, trash, and an assortment of other things littered the floor. Scrunching up her nose, "Maybe you should get some rest, or clean up. Didn't you leave the shades open last night, and I came down earlier and there was some noise in here, and the shades were down, and you didn't get home until just before sunrise. I think some one was in here last night, they were gone before I found them, though."

"I'll think about cleaning, and I already know someone was here, thanks though." Angel said his back to her still thinking of what to write to his beloved. Sensing that she wasn't getting anywhere, she shut the door and headed to the T.V. to flip though stations. Fred and Wes just watched no really knowing what else to say.

Gunn walked down a deserted alley, brushing dust off him muttering about how messy vamps were. He stopped walking when he reached the door of a small well lit building. Entering the main room he was always shocked by the number of crosses that lined the walls. He knew that Lily had put them there at Anne's request, couldn't have vamps just walking in at any time.

"Anne!" he hollered, really looking for Lily, who used Anne's name. Lily had done some pretty bad things in her past and Anne was kind enough to give her a fresh start.

A blonde haired woman came running to see what the fuss was. "Gunn!" She ran to give him a small hug. "You haven't been here in a while."

After Anne had gotten that phone call, she wasn't up to visiting and just went her own way.

"Just wanted to tell you Anne's in town."

"She is?"

"Yeah she was supposed to come the other night, but something came up."

"A home something?"

"So she said."

"Well, can I get you anything to eat or drink?" She asked and they fell into an easy conversation about the things they were doing, and Anne.

Xander sat with Willow and Dawn trying to figure out how to get Buffy home.

"Maybe we should go to L.A.?" Dawn asked. "That's where we think she is right? So why not go find her?"

Xander was more than a little angry that there friend had run off to L.A. again. "Maybe we should just wait for the new, more responsible slayer to get here. After all that's what our fearless, and often deserting, leader told us to do, right." A pale-fisted punch set Xander to the ground, the blonde vampire gripped his head as pain coursed though his body. Dawn, shocked, hid her face in Willow's shoulder for a brief moment. Sure they worked with Spike every night, and he was teaching her how to fight, but she was not used to him being violent with the gang any more.

"You know the pain was worth it." Spike said looking down at Xander, who was tending to his newly broken nose. "Sorry 'bout the violence, Bit, but someone had to stick up for your sister. Buffy has saved your lives more than I can count, and you still doubt her? She was pulled out of Heaven, if she needs to leave to get things in order than she has the right to leave. She has more respect, not just fear but respect, from the demon community than any other Slayer in history because she doesn't just kill, she protects innocent demons as well as human. And she is the only Slayer to have any kind of non demon fighting life, ever. You should listen more to your "fearless leader," as you call her, than you mock her. She's the best damn Slayer the world has ever seen." Finishing his piece he went back to the basement that served as his bedroom.

"He's right Xander." Willow said, helping him to his feet. "I know you're mad, but lashing out at her isn't going to bring her home. Maybe Dawn's right, maybe we should head to L.A."

"I'll go tell Spike, and then get packed." Dawn said running out of the room. Willow just looked at Xander, as if daring him to tell her it was a bad idea. A few minutes later, Dawn poked her head in and asked, "Can we stay with Angel?"

"I'm sure he'll let us stay, he owns a hotel after all; I'll just call to let him know that we're coming."

Xander opened his mouth as if to protest, but quickly closed it again.

After she left the note at Angel's, she doubled back to the nightclub where she worked. The flamboyant green demon was just locking the club up.

"Hey there, Anne." What can I do for you?" Lorne asked his singer.

She shoved him against the wall, her forearm pinning him by the throat. "I don't like people in my head. I don't know what you saw, but you ever do it again or tell anyone what you saw, I'll kill you. Got it?" she asked pressing harder with the last question.

"Sweetie, I didn't see much, but I can't just stop. Searching souls is my power; I can't just turn it off. Further more, what I did see was blurry, you do a good job keeping people out. If you ever want to talk about anything let me know." Anne released him. "Who ever the guy was, in your memories, maybe he can help you deal with whatever you're running from." Lorne suggested, walking away.

When he reached where the alley let out onto a more crowded street, he looked back and saw for the first time that Anne was having a breakdown that only the "memory guy" could help her with. Shaking his head, he disappeared into the crowded streets. He pulled out his phone and dialed Angel's number, Anne needed help whether she wanted it or not. He wouldn't tell Angel what he saw, he made a promise and he tried to keep his word.

* * *

Thanks for the reviews, it great to hear your thoughts. Also i don't own anything, except the story line. hope you all like it. 


	6. THEY'RE HERE!

Lorne was probably never going to let her enter the bar again. Damn her temper! It's not like he knew anyone who would care about her past. Shaking herself out of her thoughts, she walked toward her apartment.

She walked into her small apartment, looking around she saw two pictures sitting on the small table; one of Angel and her and the other of her, Xander, and Willow from her first year in Sunnydale. Entering her room, she changed into clothes better suited for patrolling. Grabbing her ipod and a few stakes, she locked up her apartment.

Entering a small cemetery, she looked for some vamps, but she was sadly disappointed. So she walked around until she found a large marble angel with its arms outstretched. Still her eyes welled with tears, she had spent almost every night she was in L.A. at this tombstone. The engraving read: _My Angel, forever and always, because isn't that what love is? _She climbed onto the base and sat encased in the figures cold arms. Settled comfortably, she turned her ipod on, not shocked to hear country music, "the music of pain" as Xander called it, she began to sing along.

"Got a date a week from friday  
with the preachers son.  
Everybody says hes crazy  
I'll have to see.  
I finally moved to Jackson  
when the summer came.  
I wont have to pay that boy  
to rake my leaves.  
Im probably going on and on it seems,  
Im doing more of that these days. I probably wouldnt be this way,  
I probably wouldnt hurt so bad,  
I never pictured every minute  
without you in it  
Oh you left so fast.  
Sometimes I see you standing there,  
Sometimes its like im losin touch,  
Sometimes I feel Im so lucky  
to have had the chance to love this much.  
God give me a moments praise,  
as if Ive never seen your face,  
I probably wouldnt be this way.

Momma says that I just shouldnt speak to you,  
Susan says that I should just move on.  
You ought to see the way these people look at me,  
When they see me round here talking to this stone.  
Everybody thinks I've lost my mind,  
but I just take it day by day.

I probably wouldnt be this way,  
I probably wouldnt hurt so bad,  
I never pictured every minute  
without you in it  
Oh you left so fast.  
Sometimes I see you standing there,  
Sometimes I feel anangels touch,  
Sometimes I feel that Im so lucky  
to have had the chance to love this much.  
God give me a moments praise,  
as if Ive never seen your face,  
I probably wouldnt be this way.  
I probably wouldnt be this way.

Got a date a week from friday,  
with the preachers son.  
Everybody says Im crazy,  
guess Ill have to see.…"

This song seemed like the anthem of her and Angel's romance. From the time she sent him to Hell; to there break-up which her mother had fueled and Willow told her to get over him, like she could just get over Angel; right up to her "relationship" with Riley. Tears poured down her face at the thought of her true love, locking himself away in his messy office reading her short note. She knew that soon, if she was going to ever be able to face the world again, have to meet Angel face to face.

She had gotten this "monument" after she had fled to L.A. the first time. Borrowing money from her father, she had it paid of by the time she returned home that fall. No one back home even knew she had done this, she could just see Xander's face if he knew. Repressing all thoughts, she just sat there listening to whatever played. She could worry about home and work tomorrow, right now she just needed to forget everything for a while.

The office phone rang, Fred answered. "Angel Investigations we help…"

"Is Angel there?" a woman asked.

"May I ask why?"

"If he's busy…"

"Can I help you with something?" Fred asked.

"Is it alright if the Scoobies come and help look for Buffster?" Fred could hear the woman fighting to get the phone back from the man that was talking. _"Xander give me that phone back right now!" _Fred wondered how these people knew about Buffy, but thought if they were going to help then they were friends.

"I'm sure Angel would appreciate the help. When will you be here?" Fred asked.

_"Ha."_ The woman had gotten the phone back, "We'll be there in about forty minuets."

"See you then." Fred said hanging up.

"Who was that, Fred?" Cordy asked.

"I'm not really sure but it was a guy and a lady, I think the guy's name was Xander. They said they wanted to help find 'the Buffster'."

Cordelia looked, frantically, at Wesley who shared her look of concern. Fred missed the whole thing, not realizing that there was any need for looks.

"I'm gonna let Angel know about our coming company." Cordelia said turning off the T.V. "I hope they didn't bring Spike." She muttered pushing open the office door. Seeing Angel in the same position he had been before she left, staring out the, closed blinded, window, she sighed. "Fred invited the Scoobies, they'll be here in about an hour, I think."

Angel made no expression that he had heard her, but she knew he had. "Them coming here is gonna send her in a nose dive, isn't it Angel?"

"She can't deal with them right now, and she shouldn't have to." Angel said, never turning to face her.

"Angel, next time you talk to her tell her if she needs anything… . You probable have, so, I don't know, tell her she isn't alone, that if she ever want to talk, to someone other than you, I'm here."

"I'll let her know, Cord." This time he turned and sat in his chair, Cordy saw that he was very angry about the fact that her fiends couldn't let her sort things out.

"I'll give Xander a crappy room." She crossed the threshold, turn back to shut the door and said, "You'll help her get through this, you always do." The door clicked shut behind her.

_"See you then."_ Willow shut the cell phone after Fred hung up.

"Everything is set, Angel is expecting us in forty minuets. Now Giles, Xander, and Spike I expect that you three will behave. Angel is letting us stay with him, so you all mind your manners."

"What if Angel's hiding her or covering her tracks so we won't find her?" Spike asked.

"Angel would want to see her home with her family, not barely living with some horrible job. Besides he would have told us he found her, right?" Willow said with more confidence then she felt.

"What if Angel thinks he's helping her, like what if he just takes her and leaves L.A. with her?" Dawn asked, not sure what answer she wanted. _God, what if this was a huge mistake._ "Why do you think she left, wouldn't she want family to help her deal with this stuff?"

"No, Bit, what she needed was unconditional love, the kind that only Angel can give." Giles shot Spike an angry look.

"I'm sure what Spike means is that she didn't want us to have to deal with the dangers of her having a breakdown on the Hellmouth." Giles said, hoping to subdue Dawn's train of thought.

"So leaving the Hellmouth unguarded was better than having a breakdown?" Xander yelled, angry that they could all make excuses for Buffy's actions.

"Well, if the Slayer had a breakdown, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be the "talking-to-walls-Dru crazy," it would be more along the lines of pulling away from you miserable lot and Bit. You morons probably wouldn't have noticed until it was too late." Spike said, once again sticking up for the Slayer who had spared his life because he couldn't defend himself.

"Shouldn't you be happy Buffy's gone, I mean now there's no one to kill you, right?" Xander asked, curious as to why Spike was so eager to have Buffy home.

"Oh, and the next Slayer is going to see William the Bloody, and not try to kill me? I'm not stupid, the next Slayer won't have any kind of judgment about good vampires and bad vampires. The only reason Buffy does is because of Peaches. I'd very much like to have Buffy home so I don't get killed, but I'm not gonna force to come home the way you are. The only reason I'm here is because she told me to protect the Bit, and I'm not gonna break that promise."

The rest of the ride was silent, everyone thinking about what they were going to find in L.A.

Lorne stormed into the hotel, and found Cordy in front of the T.V. "Where have you all been? We've gotta help Anne, she's on the verge of a major breakdown."

"Look, Lorne, we're dealing with a depressed Angel, a runaway Slayer, and the search party that's headed to L.A. to find her and potentially do more damage. We really don't have time for a person whose on the verge of a breakdown right now, there are doctors for that." Cordelia said taking charge of a situation that was getting increasingly out of control.

"Since when did our problems become the problems of innocent people?" Lorne asked.

"When the Angel we know is about to go all "Snowy Sunnydale" on us, and the only person who has ever been able to pull him out of this is running around L.A., trying to deal with the fact that she was ripped out of Heaven, and to top it all off the people that pulled her out are on their way here."

"Hello? Anyone here? Angel? Cordy? Wes?" Willow yelled, walking into the hotel.

"Great! That search party I mentioned, they're here." Cordy muttered to Lorne. Walking into the main lobby, she forced a smile. "Willow! It's great to see you!"

"Bloody hell, people, let the vampire past so he doesn't turn to dust." Spike yelled forcing his way in.

"Pity we couldn't keep you out there just a little longer. I'm sure you would look wonderful with a tan." Xander said, which resulted in Willow slapping his arm. "Oww. The pain. Willow violence is frowned upon in most cultures. Well maybe its not, but Oww!"

"Harris, I see you haven't out grown your sissy stage." Cordelia said, more joking in her voice then she meant.

"It's great to see you too, Cordy." He said giving her a hug.

"Back off, Harris." She said pulling away, again Xander didn't realize she wasn't thrilled with them being here.

Spike, meanwhile, wandered over to Angel's closed office door. Seeing that everyone was occupied with the reunion, he entered Angel's office. "She's been here, hasn't she."

"Go away, Spike."

"I'm not gonna tell them. Hell, I think we should kick their asses for wanting to drag her back to Sunnydale. I know you think I'm a liar, but I'm glad she came to you for help, at least here you can help her."

"Get out, Spike." Angel said, his pen scratching quickly over a piece of paper that he had covered from Spike's sight.

"Just wanted you to know, you're not the only vampire that wants to help her." Spike said, leaving.

* * *

A.N. thanks to all those who have read, and thanks for reviewing. Glad you all like it. I don't own any characters. Hope you all like this chapter. See you soon! 


	7. Alone Again

They were here, and he had no way of warning his love. What if she thought he had called them? What if he never heard from her again because they had showed up? Spike said he cared about Buffy, but if he did he would have tried to stop their caravan to L.A., not tag along for the ride.

He reread his note, placed it in the envelop marked with her name, and slipped in another wrapped item. If she came, he hoped she would read his note. Opening the office door, he called Cordy away from the group. She quickly scurried into his office.

"God, I really deserve **WORLD'S BEST ACTRESS **or something. They all think we're happy to see them, Harris even hugged me!" She stopped rambling when she noticed how he sat, staring at the envelop in his hand. Silence reigned for a long moment before Angel spoke.

"I'm gonna leave this" indicating the letter, "and go upstairs. I'd like you to open the blinds and window, but close the curtains. On your way out lock the door, and don't read the letter." He left the room, walking though the lobby not even answering the hello from Willow. Dawn, however, was less subtle and ran up to him blocking his path. She grabbed him in a hug, her eyes brimming with tears. He realized Willow never would have involved Dawn in her plot to raise the dead, and that Dawn needed comforting, too. He gently hugged Dawn, "Dawn your sister will be alright, I promise."

Dawn looked up at him. "I want to help you find her. Spike taught me how to defend myself over the summer. He figured Buffy wasn't there to save me all the time, and he couldn't go out during the day, so I needed to learn to fight. I want to help."

"Right now, there isn't much that you can do." Angel said, stepping away from Dawn. He looked at Spike, and wanted to thank him for honoring the promise he made to Buffy before she died. He turned away from the gang and headed upstairs.

Willow went into the room Cordy had been in before they gotten there.

* * *

She hasn't seen Gunn in days, and thought she would go looking for him. Being early in the day, she wasn't sure where to find him but figured the shelter was a good place to start.

She got to the shelter and hesitated. For the first time since leaving Sunnydale she wondered if this was the right thing for her to do. She needed to think, but someplace close. Looking around she saw a fire escape ladder. After getting up to the landing, she settled in and watched the still world around her.

Was she doing the right thing leaving Dawn? What about Willow and Xander, were they ok? Where were Anya and Spike? Would Spike keep Dawn safe? Could he?

For the first time since she got to L.A. she felt the urge to run, to disappear again. But that was foolish right the only person who could find her was Angel, and he wouldn't he knew she needed to deal with this her way, right?

She looked around paranoid that _they_ would find her. That Gunn would somehow find out who she was and tell _them_. She stood ready to bolt when the door below her clinked open. Looking down she saw Lily and Gunn.

"If you see Anne tell her thanks, and tell her we miss her."  
"I'll do that."

"Could you let her know" Lily paused, biting her quivering lip, trying not to cry, "that if she needs a place to stay…" Again, Lily had to stop.

"Hey, don't cry, these punks won't listen to you if you do. You know them, they think crying is a sign of weakness, they never met _her_."

Lily nodded her head, still biting her lip. "Could you let her know there's room here if she ever needs it?"

"I'll let her know." He said giving her a hug, before turning to leave. "I gotta get back to work before the Boss gets angry, not that we're working on anything. The one case we were working on is getting ignored, because he got some phone call about his girlfriend." He said heading for the alley's exit.

"Bye." Lily called after him. She stood there for a few minuets trapping Anne on the fire escape, without even realizing it.

* * *

After Angel went upstairs, there was an awkward silence, which Xander was happy to fill. "So he has seen her. How else would he know that she's okay?"

"Xander, Angel hasn't seen her. If he had don't you think they would be together? Wouldn't he be with her?" Cordy said locking Angel's office. She had missed his conversation with Dawn because she was setting up his office the way he told her to.

"Maybe she's upstairs." Xander replied, heading for the stairs.

Cordy grabbed his arm, "You go up there and I'll throw all of you out."

"Why, is our favorite vamp hiding something?"

"Maybe you didn't understand me; if you go up stairs you will all be out of this hotel, and you'll have a severally kicked ass, got it?"

"Cordy." Gunn called, entering from the back door. "Cord, is there any…" Gunn said ,walking into the main lobby. "…food? Cordy, we don't manhandle clients."

"They aren't clients." She hissed through gritted teeth. Disgusted, she though Xander's arm back at him, and stormed out of the room.

Willow hearing the arguing, entered. "What happened?"

Gunn looked up, that was the same woman who had told his boss that the girl had died last summer. _These must be the people who had brought her back from the dead,_ Gunn thought.

"I was gonna follow Deadboy upstairs, but Cordy got all protective and then stormed out."

"Xander, you should have more respect this isn't our home. If Cordy says you can't go upstairs, then you can't go upstairs."

"I think they're hiding something about Buffy."

Gunn's phone rang, looking at the caller id he answered, "Hey, what's going on?" Everyone in the room watched him. "Yeah, I'll swing by. We're not busy, but our boss has company. … Umm, couple girls and two guys. They're looking for his girlfriend, I think." Talking to the people in the room he said, "Where is he, anyway?"

Buffy heard Spike's answer over the phone, "He went upstairs, he wasn't thrilled about the intrusion, probably wants to look for her himself."

Buffy was freaking out, the gang and her sister were in L.A., but Gunn hadn't called them. Did Gunn know Spike was a vampire? Who did Gunn work for that he would meet up with the Gang? The only person that popped to mind was Angel, but that was crazy, right? Gunn wouldn't work with a vampire, would he? If Gunn hadn't called them then who had? Angel?

"Hey, Gunn, meet me in the park at eightish." She said hanging up.

Gunn looked down at his phone, which was no longer connected to Anne. She had seemed totally freaked after the mention of Angel's guests. Did she know them? No, that was crazy, she lived in L.A. and these people lived in some tiny town.

"Who was that?" Xander asked. "It was probably someone who knew where Buffy was, wasn't it?"

Gunn didn't like this guy. Where did he get off coming into this hotel and accusing them of hiding people or information. Grabbing Xander by the collar, he said, "I don't know this Buffy person. That was my friend calling to set up a meeting. Angel really loves this girl, that you all are looking for, you don't get to accuse us of anything got it?" Throwing Xander toward Spike, he told Willow "Maybe you should keep him on a tighter leash." he stormed into the room Cordy had disappeared to and told her he was going out with a friend, they were going to get a bite to eat, and did she want anything while he was out. When she said no, he left without saying anything to the group in the lobby.

* * *

Angel had turned his back on her, was that possible? It was silly really, she didn't even know if Gunn worked for Angel. But she had heard Spike telling Gunn that the boss wasn't happy about the company! Of course, if Angel hadn't been happy that means he didn't invite them! So he hadn't turned on her! But then who had invited them?

This was crazy her and Gunn were gonna get some greasy food, and maybe patrol, then she was gonna go home to ditch Gunn, then head to Angel's. she could worry about the Gang some other time. Grabbing her favorite CD, she threw it in her large purse with some stakes, her keys, and her phone. Looking at her watch she saw that she would be late to meet Gunn if she didn't hurry.

She ran down the empty side street at full speed. When she rounded the corner, she slammed into someone. She apologized and turned to leave, when and arm grabbed her. Spinning her around the man looked at her, his tweed suit reminded Buffy of Giles. This man was undeniably a watcher. She ripped her arm away from him and continued walking down the alley.

"Little girls shouldn't walk down alleys at night, you never know what might be around." The man called after her.

"Good thing I'm not a little girl." She said, not turning back to face this watcher. She knew she shouldn't talk to the watcher, but she couldn't help herself. Why was there a watcher here? Was the council looking for her? Or the new Slayer? Had Giles called the Council? Was the new Slayer going to setup here in L.A.? Would she try to kill Angel?

Entering the park, she saw Gunn and ran up to him. "You ready to get something to eat? I'm starving." She said, linking arms with him.

"Sure thing, Anne. I'm hungry, too." they headed the way she had just come. Would the watcher still be there waiting for her? Shaking her head, they pressed on.

They headed into a small restaurant that had lots of greasy food. Anne got chicken fingers and fries, and Gunn had a hamburger and fries. They sat there for an hour talking and laughing. Anne had so much fun she almost forgot about the Gang and the watcher…almost. She couldn't shake the feeling that the watcher was going to cause trouble.

After they had their meal, they wondered around L.A., ending up at a small, well kept playground. Racing for the swings, Anne realized how much she missed just hanging out with someone; no slaying, or researching, just hanging out goofing around.

At eleven-thirty, after patrolling, they both headed to their homes. When Anne was sure Gunn was gone, she grabbed her purse and headed for Angel's. Coming up on the building she saw that the blinds were pulled up for her and the window left open. The only thing blocking her entrance was a flimsy curtain. Pushing the curtain aside, she climbed though the window. The office was still filthy, and she couldn't bear to think of Angel spending his day in this filthy office. Checking to make sure the door was locked, she put on her CD and began to clean the office.

By one o'clock the office was cleaned, and she sat to write her nightly letter to Angel. An envelop with her name on it grabbed her attention. She reached for it and tore it open.

_My Love, I'm glad you've come to me for some help, even if it is only to listen through your letters. It troubles me to hear that your drowning, I'd like to help but I'm not sure how. The only way to help, for now, I think is to give you this._

She noticed that the envelop had something in it. Pulling it out, she unwrapped it. She was shocked, he'd given her his credit card. Wide-eyed she continued to read his letter.

_I'm the only one who will see the bill, so don't worry about being tracked. As I began to write this letter, Willow and the others arrived (with Spike). I wish there was another way to warn you of their arrival. I want you to know I didn't call them, Fred (the girl from the other dimension I mentioned) did._

_You still my girl?_

She stared shocked at the letter. He hadn't called them, and he'd given her his credit card. She didn't know if she could just take it. Did he really doubt she was still his girl? Tears welled in her eyes. She wasn't sure how long she'd sat there rereading the letter, but she knew she had to reply and get out of there.

Just as she finished her note, Buffy heard the grumbles of waking people. Setting the note on his desk, she grabbed her purse. Dropping the blinds she climbed out of the window, pulled the curtains shut, and closed the window. Once she was sure Angel wouldn't be a pile of ash when he entered his office, she ran as fast as she could.

Thoughts of the Gang and the mysterious watcher still troubled her, but at least she knew Angel hadn't called the Gang on her. Angel would always help and protect her from anything, including the Gang. For that she was grateful, she would've hated to be alone again.

* * *

AN- first, i don't own anything. sencond thanks for the reviews. hope you all like the story and the chapter. third for all those Xander fans, sorry i know i'm picking on him a lot, but i figured he would be the most upset about her going to LA. please review. thanks see you soon. 


	8. A Little Faith

-1The door knob rattled just as she shut the window. While Buffy was fleeing at break-neck speeds, Willow and Dawn were trying to stop Xander form breaking into Angel's office. Xander was about to throw his weight at the door to bust it down when Angel walked into the main lobby.

"What are you doing?" Angel asked the three huddled around the door.

"NOTHING! We aren't doing anything. See were just talking about the weather, and how nice it is. How clear the sky is. We weren't doing anything." Willow babbled, demonstrating how bad she was at lying.

Dawn noting Willow's babbling lies, covered for her saying, "Willow did you drink coffee again?" Smiling sympathetically at Angel she said, "She must have had coffee or something, sorry. I'll just take her upstairs, out of the way. Xander, will you help me?"

"Yeah, sure." Xander was glad to get out of this mess.

Angel watched them suspiciously, as they climbed the stairs. When they were upstairs, he unlocked the door. Entering the first thing he noticed was the quiet music, which he wondered why he hadn't heard it earlier. Walking in, he realized the office was cleaned. Stopping the song, he pulled out the CD. Looking at it he saw that it read "Buffy & Angel 4ever" very similar to the notebook he found the morning he broke up with her. This was very CD confirmed she had been there, which he had know. He had to hide this so the Gang wouldn't find it. Sitting down at his desk to hide the CD, he noticed the envelop with her name on it was gone. In its place was a sheet of paper, folded in half.

He picked up the paper, knowing it was a note from _her_. He stood, shut, and locked his office door. Once he was resettled in his chair he gently opened the letter.

_Angel, how can I thank you for your credit card, which I don't plan on using by the way. If I do need it, though, I'm glad to know its there. _

_My letter, for tonight, was not really about your credit card. I was roaming some alleys, when I ran into this creepy guy in tweed. And who do you think this guy was? I can't prove it but I'm pretty sure he was a watcher. I'm thinking that he's either looking for, or has found the new slayer here in LA. Please be careful, I'd be very upset if she killed you. _

_How is my sister? Is Spike still watching out for her? I realize that you're probably questioning my reasons for have Spike watch out for her, but there was no one else strong enough to protect her from Glory (the hell god). I needed to know she would be okay if I didn't make it, and it seems like it was good planning on my part, huh?_

_I would ask about Willow, Xander, and Giles, but I'm still to angry at them to care. I know that sounds callous, but it's true._

_Thanks, again, for the credit card, which I won't use. _

_I love you, always. And of course I'm still your girl._

The door again rattled, someone pounding to get into the office. "Angel open up, NOW!"

"Go away, Cordy." He called back.

"I'm not going anywhere! Open the door, there was an attack." The door ripped open faster than she had expected.

"Where?"

"By the prison Faith is, or maybe was, in." Cordy said, her face scrunched in thought over whether or not Faith was still there.

"What kind of attack?"

"We aren't sure if it really was an attack or not, but it can't hurt to check things out right?"

"Do we even know if it was demonic?"

"It's a maximum security prison, so what do you think?"

"Anyone could get a weapon."

"If it was a prisoner wouldn't guards have been attacked?"  
"No guards were attacked?"

"None. Only thing was a big hole in the side of the prison."

"A hole?" Angel asked.

"Yeah, come look, it's all over the TV." Cordy said, pulling Angel to the TV.

"There was a lone escapee, the guards say after she broke out she blocked off the escape route and sounded the alarm. This woman is considered dangerous and if seen, should not be approached or threatened. She was charged with murder, kidnapping, and assault. We repeat she is _very_ dangerous." The newscaster paused. "We have just received her photograph." Faith's picture flashed across the screen.

"So, Angel, are we considering this demonic yet?"

"I'm not really sure. Tell me if anything changes." He left Cordy sanding there, clearly baffled by his lack of concern over Faith's escape.

* * *

She an as fast as she could, her feet pounding against the hard road. Why was she doing this? Why did she feel as if her sister slayer needed help. Why did she feel the need to see the other "chosen one." All thoughts left her mind as she reached the mouth of an alley. There was no reason for her to go down the alley, it was noon no demons would be out. Yet she felt pulled to this alley. Trusting her instincts, she walked down the alley. Near the end of the alley, a simple door was propped open. She peered into the building, and was shocked at the number of crosses that lined the walls.

"Hello?" Faith called out, immediately regretting it. She was on the run, she shouldn't be yell for someone to come see her. She was sure that by now every news channel had her face plastered to the screen and what was she doing? Drawing attention to herself! Before she could get away, a young blonde woman entered.

"May I help you?" The woman said not looking up from her book.

"No, I'm sorry to bother…" Faith had tried to get away but the woman looked up.

"You're the woman from the TV." Lily yelled, but Faith was already gone.

* * *

She had made it home. She was safe, the Gang hadn't found her yet. Locking her door, she ventured into the kitchen to find something to eat. She stopped searching when she located an open bag of chips. She settled into the couch with the chips and turned on the TV.

"There was a lone escapee, the guards say after she broke out she blocked off the escape route and sounded the alarm. This woman is considered dangerous and if seen, should not be approached or threatened. She was charged with murder, kidnapping, and assault. We repeat she is _very_ dangerous." The newscaster paused. "We have just received her photograph." Faith's picture flashed across the screen.

"Shit, Faith, what are you doing?" Buffy said, leaning forward the chips loosely held. Why was she breaking out now? Was there some major bad guy on the loose? She didn't know, but what she did know was she had to find Faith. She had to help her sister slayer. She wasn't sure when she had forgiven Faith, but she had, and now Faith needed help.

Clicking off the TV, unable to hear what exactly Faith had done, she relaxed back into the couch, trying to calm her mind. It was impossible to do, she decided. Grabbing her purse, she left the apartment, locking the door on the way out.

* * *

"Maybe we can help the girl whose gonna have a breakdown." Gunn asked Lorne, both were sitting watching TV. "I need to get out, but I can't just go wondering the streets. It gets boring after awhile."

"What about the friend of yours?" Lorne asked.

"Haven't heard from her yet, but I think she has something going on."

"Oh, well, I'm not sure how we can help her. I was hoping she would stop by the club again, but she hasn't been around."

"How did you know she was gonna have this breakdown, anyway?" Gunn asked Lorne.

"We had a… talk… and it was pretty obvious." Lorne said, ending the discussion.

Gunn looked around for something to ease the tension in the room, finding nothing Gunn left the room in silence.

* * *

Willow, Dawn, and Xander sat around watching the newest news development. Dawn, frustrated at hearing the same thing over and over again, stood, sighing. "I'm so sick of hearing the same stuff."

"Dawnie, sweetie, we all are." Willow said, looking back at Dawn who was pacing behind the couch in their rooms.

"There has to be more, or other ways, we can find out, isn't there." Dawn asked, pulling her hand through her hair.

"You should be more concerned about the fact that there is an insane woman who is super strong and hates all of us. Buffy isn't here to protect us from Faith, and if you think Angel of Spike will you're crazy. Buffy ran away, and know Faith is on the loose. Our best friend abandoned us to run around a busy city."

"She is my sister. You had better back off, Xander, most everyone here will rush to my sister's defense, and there are two scary vampires that love her who will lead the pack." Dawn said her face red as she rushed at Xander.

"The only things that can protect us are two vampires who will attack us if we say anything about Buffy."

"Go to hell, Xander." Dawn said as she stormed out of the room.

"Do you have to piss everyone off, Xander?"

* * *

AN:Sorry about the delay, thanks for the reviews. own nothing. please review. 


	9. More Faith

Every thought was like fuel to the storm that was her life. Faith was running around LA with police stalking her, there was a creepy watcher who was probably guiding a Slayer, Angel was trying to deal with Spike living with him, and the Gang was searching for her. Right now she couldn't worry about the Slayer and watcher, and she was hoping Angel and Spike could get along for a few weeks. Faith was her first priority, she needed to help her "sister."

"Where would she go?" Buffy mumbled to herself. Walking around LA wasn't going to help anything, she had to start somewhere. The only somewhere she could safely go was the club. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she headed to the club.

When she arrived at the club she checked to see if the door was locked. Finding it unlocked, she poked her head in before entering. "Anyone here?"

"Look what the cat dragged in," Lorne said. "Anne, what can I do for you."

"First I'd like to apologize for my behavior, it's just that I once had people in my head and it ended in drinking a demon heart, not very fun." She paused, only now realizing her slip about demon hearts. "Second, I'm sure you've seen the news. Faith, that woman, is my sister, if you see her could you not turn her in and let me know. If she gives you any problems tell her I'm looking for her." She turned to leave, but Lorne grabbed her arm.

"Are you coming to work tonight?"

"Um, I thought I was fired after the other night."

"I'm at as much fault, I normally ask before poking around in people's or demons' heads. The only other person who is as touchy to invasion of privacy as you, though, is this this vampire with soul and a bad breakup."

"Oh, I didn't know vampires had souls." She said, playing dumb about Angel.

"Normally they don't, but he was cursed by Gypsies. He's a mess right now though, problems with his ex, not exactly what he normally is."

"Well I guess I'll be in for work tonight then." She couldn't deal with hearing that Angel was having problems because of her, she had to get out of there. Turning, she thought of another thing. "Have you heard anything about a Slayer in LA?"

"Umm… no, but how do you know about Slayers?" Lorne asked, scratching one of his horns.

"My sister, the one I came about, is a Slayer. I hear there were more than one because of some cosmic mix-up." She said shrugging, and left.

* * *

"Spike, I was thinking." Dawn said sitting next to him on the couch in front of the TV.

"About what?"

"Buffy." She stopped talking, thinking about how Spike would take what she had to say.

"What about her, Pet?" Spike said, turning off the TV, looking at her.

"What if we never find her? I'm not sure she wants to be found and we can't look for her forever. Plus, we don't really have an active "Find Buffy" campaign." Dawn rambled.

"I'm not sure we can really just find her. She's a Slayer, they're good at hiding, it's kind of their business." Spike wasn't sure how to handle a teenage girl, who very clearly missed her sister. "Where are Willow and Xander? There must be some kind of outside fun they can engage you in."

"Why you want to get rid of me?" Dawn asked, angry that no one seemed to care that she missed her sister.

"I'm not trying to get rid of you, I just think you should go out, and I can't exactly go out into a bright sunny day. Just get Willow and Xander to take you to the zoo or a water park, you should go out, your sister would be mad at us if we just let you sit around the hotel all the time." Spike said, turning back to Passions.

"If I say I'm sorry for over reacting, will you forgive me?" Dawn asked him.

"I'm not mad at you, I'm just upset that you think I would just get rid of you after I promised your sister I'd watch out for you." Spike said wrapping a comforting arm around her.

"I just miss her so much, you know?"

"I know, Pet. I know."

* * *

"What are we gonna do about Faith?" Cordelia asked for the hundredth time. "I can't go shopping if there is some crazy Slayer out there that hates me."

"I wouldn't worry too much Cordy. Faith doesn't really hate you, she only hates Buffy's friends." Xander said, still mad that Willow and Dawn didn't get why Buffy was wrong to leave Sunnydale.

"Guess you don't have to worry either, huh, Harris?" Cordy said.

"What the hell does that mean, Cordelia?" Xander yell, taking a step toward her.

"First, I suggest you stop or you'll be beat to a bloody pulp faster than you can say 'Buffy save me.' None of the guys here really care for you. Second, you're more concerned with Buffy protecting the Hellmouth than how she feels about you pulling her out of Heaven." Cordy hit Xander across the face.

"Cordy." Angel said, pleased that she yell at Xander and defended Buffy.

Looking over at Angel, she asked, "Well he started it!"

"Cordy I was just gonna say that I think you can go to the mall, there hasn't been any report of Faith attacking anyone."

"Great, cause there is this awesome sale that I would hate to miss."

"Hey, everybody, how's it going." Lorne said, walking in.

"We're talking about the woman who broke out of prison, Faith."

"Oh, you guys know her?"

"Yeah, we do, quite well." Cordy said cringing, thinking about how at homecoming those demons thought she was Faith..

"Oh, well it turns out Anne is Faith's sister. Anne told me Faith is a Slayer." Lorne said, hoping to help with whatever research they were conducting.

"Well Faith is a Slayer, but she doesn't have a sister." Angel said.

"Why would Anne lie about being a prison escapee's sister?"

"I'm not sure, but I'll look into it." Angel said walking into the lobby.

Dawn asked him, "Angel I have a question for you."

"Yeah, Dawn."

"Why do you have purple hair?"

"Purple what…" He said putting his hand on his head. "Oh my hair! Cordy dyed it she won't get rid of it. I forgot about it, no reflection and all."

"I was just wondering. Also I wanted to know if Xander was in there." She said, indicating the room he just exited.

"Yeah he is."

"Thanks, Angel, you're a real life-saver." Dawn said walking away from the room.

"That was odd." He said, scratching his purple head.

* * *

Willow sat up in her room with spell books all around her. "There must be some kind of forgetting spell," she mumbled, flipping through pages. Finally the flipping stopped, she found the spell she was looking for, Tabula Rasa. All she needed was a crystal and some Lethe's Bramble, some kind of forget herb-flower-thingy. "This shouldn't be too hard," she said marking the page and putting the books away. "This will make everything better. Buffy will forget about Heaven, Xander will forget about her leaving, and Dawn won't be mad at us anymore."

* * *

Buffy sat in one of the cemeteries, hoping that Faith might need "comfort food." Hopping off the tombstone, she walked toward the exit. On her way she say something move, and decided to check it out. Hunting the figure down, she found Faith slipping into a mausoleum. She followed Faith in.

"Hey, stranger, how's it going?" Buffy asked.

Faith turned, shocked. "What are you playing at? Not gonna beat me up and hand me back to the cops?"

"Actually, I was gonna help you; take you back to my house then go to work, but if you'd rather go to jail…"

"I'm not sure I believe you." Faith said, eyeing her warily.

"I don't blame you, but things change." Buff sat on the steps leading into the main of the crypt.

"What changed?"

"I died, for one thing. Got a job in a demon bar singing, after I left Sunnydale. Riley left me. I have a sister, and I dyed and cut my hair." Buffy counted the changes off on her fingers. "Oh and I forgot, I'm ruining Angel's life by sending him letters. Right now I pretty much suck at life, that's what's changed."

"Wow, and I thought prison was bad." Faith said, sitting on a sarcophagus in the crypt.

"I win suckiest-life-of-the-year award."

"So your going to help me, why?"

Buffy stood, "You're like my sister, and you need help."

"Look this whole sister thing is great and all, but don't you hate me?"

"I used to," Buffy said pacing while rubbing her arms to ward off the cold. "Add that to the list of things that changed. When I died I kind of ended up in Heaven, and Willow and the Gang ripped me out."

"So these changes, brought out forgiveness?" Faith asked, slinging her arm around Buffy.

"Pretty much." Buffy answered, as she and Faith walked toward her apartment.

When they got there, Buffy let Faith change into non-prison clothing. Checking the time Buffy realized she had to leave. "Faith you gonna be alright, cause I've gotta get to work, so I'll be gone for awhile."

"I'll be fine, but you really don't have to house me."

"Don't be silly, you're like a sister." Walking out the door, she called, "I've got to stop by Angel's after work so I should back around dawn."

"I'll be fine, really," Faith said turning on the TV.

* * *

Arriving at the club, she was shocked to see Gunn talking to Lorne.

"Hey don't you kill demons?" She addressed Gunn.

They both turned to see who was talking.

"Anne?" Gunn asked, shocked at her appearance at a demon bar.

"Live and in the flesh." Her sarcasm went unnoticed by both shocked men-- well one man and one demon.

"What are you doing here?"

"Well I was gonna work, but if we're all just talking maybe I'll do that."  
"This is you're working?" Turning to Lorne, "This is your breakdown girl?"

"Yeah, this is Anne, but you seem to know her so…"

"Look, guys, I'm gonna go do my job." Pushing past them, she entered the club filled with both demons and people. However, she noticed that one was missing, the purpled haired one. Shaking her head, she wondered why she cared that he was missing. The more she thought about it the more she realized why she missed his presences, he reminded her of Angel. Pushing the thought of Angel out of her mind she hopped up onto the stage.

Your subtleties  
They strangle me  
I can't explain myself at all.  
And all that wants  
And all that needs  
All I don't want to need at all.

The walls start breathing  
My minds unweaving  
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.  
A weight is lifted  
On this evening  
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,  
It ends tonight  
It ends tonight.

A falling star  
Least I fall alone.  
I can't explain what you can't explain.  
Your finding things that you didn't know  
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing  
My minds unweaving  
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.  
A weight is lifted  
On this evening  
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light  
It ends tonight,  
It ends tonight.  
Just a little insight will make this right,  
It's too late to fight.  
It ends tonight,  
It ends tonight.

Now I'm on my own side  
It's better than being on your side  
It's my fault when your blind  
It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside  
Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light  
It ends tonight,  
It ends tonight.  
Just a little insight will make this right,  
It's too late to fight.  
It ends tonight,  
It ends tonight.

When darkness turns to light  
It ends tonight,  
It ends tonight.  
Just a little insight will make this right,  
It's too late to fight.  
It ends tonight,  
It ends tonight.

Lorne stood in the doorway, trying to read Anne again. He had to be careful, so that she didn't know what he was doing. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on her.

_The memory was the blurry man and woman from the sword fight. The man's death had affected her more than she let on. She had stood watching the spot where he had been sucked into the vortex for a long time before turning and walking into a bright sunny day._

_The next memory was of a sewer, the man who disappeared into the vortex and the girl who watched talked as they were apparently hunting a demon. The conversation turned from a light banter to an argument. The vampire they were hunting was dusted for disturbing their conversation. The argument left the girl in tears and the man not far from them._

_The third memory was very a very shiny crimson color. Caps and gowns covered the bodies of the graduating class. An eclipse began a huge battle that the petite blond lead. As the smoke cleared, the man appeared behind the fire trucks. Their unspoken good-bye more painful than any wounds they had suffered during the battle._

_In the last memory, Lorne was shocked to see that the man wasn't in it. The small blond was talking to a brunette on a tall tower. The brunette called after the blond as she turned and ran toward the end of the tower's thin plank. As the sun rose over the scene, he could the blond dive into a vortex that looked similar to a thunderstorm. A short while later, the memory showed the woman's family crowding around her dead body. He could tell the battle had been a long and hard one, that the blond had been happy to end. She had spared the younger girls life by sacrificing her own._

Forcing himself out of her memories he wondered how this girl was still standing. Gunn's friend had been through so much that it seemed impossible for the girl to still stand tall and face the world. This woman had been carrying around the weight of the world; for the first time Lorne thought that this girl might be a Slayer.

* * *

Hope you like, please review. Thanks. 


	10. Scars and Memories

The memories played out in her mind, as they had in Lorne's, but with a pain of knowing that each battle had taken something from her that could never be replaced. Battles with hell-gods or a big worm thing, or the fights with Angel and Angelus. Every battle left a scar, some deeper and more painful than others. The sight of her body lying dead on some crates hadn't bothered her when she first saw it, but now it did. She had given up her life to save Dawn, and had gotten the ultimate reward, Heaven. Her friends, however, couldn't let her be, so they ripped her out, to save her. There was a time when seeing her body on those crates brought some comfort, she was done, she had saved the world; now the sight pissed her off.

Jumping off the stage, she took off out the back door of the club. Looking behind her to make sure that no one was following her, she headed to Angel's.

Upon arrival she noticed that there were lights and a TV on in the lobby. Poking around the building she saw that the lights in Angel's office were off. Quietly, she walked up to the window and opened it. Looking to make sure no one saw her, she slid though the open window.

Letting her eyes adjust to the darkness, she sat at Angel's desk. She could hear Cordelia, Xander, Angel, some girl she didn't know, and Dawn talking.

"Faith is out there, and the only person that can stop her is to wrapped up in herself to care. Buffy should be here with a plan on how to stop Faith." Xander yelled.

She was pissed that Xander would say something like that. A loud thump brought her back to the argument that was taking place. "You ever talk about her like that again, and I'll kill you."

"Angel!" The girl that she didn't know said.

"Fred, let him alone." Cordelia said, more than likely holding back the girl.

"Dawn, aren't you gonna do something?" Xander gasped out.

"Xander, she's my sister, I'm just as pissed as Angel is. If he doesn't kill you next time you say something like that I will."

Then for a few minuets there was silence that was disturbed by a pounding on the wall that was probably Xander trying to get out of Angel's hold.

"Angel, just let him down." Dawn said with a sigh, as she left the room.

"You should be so glad Dawn is here, I couldn't kill you in front of her, anyone else but not her." Angel said. There was a loud crash that was Xander falling to the ground.

Knowing she didn't have long, she scribbled sown a very fast note.

_Angel, I want to thank you and Dawn for sticking up for me. Also, you don't need to worry about Faith, I've found her, and she's staying with me._

She didn't sign her name, because she knew she didn't need to. Folding her note, she flew out the window, not seeing the note Angel left for her.

Two minuets latter, Angel slammed into his office. Throwing himself into his chair, he noticed the blinds flapping in the gentle breeze. Looking around his office he noticed a folded piece of paper, that hasn't been there before. Picking it up, he read her note. She had heard the argument between the group of them a few minuets ago, and she had thanked him for defending her. The more shocking thing was that she was helping Faith. She had a better plan, a more effective plan. That stupid boy had been worried that she wouldn't take care of them, but she had. She had found Faith, and was apparently taking care of Faith, too.

-----------------------

Throwing open his door, Xander stormed into their suite, finding Willow asleep in front of the TV. Willow woke from the commotion, "Dawn, Xander, is that you?"

"Just me, Wil."

"Xander where is Dawn?"

"I don't know, down stairs." He said, shrugging off her questions. Flopping down beside her, he grabbed the remote, flipping through the channels.

"Xander, what happened?"

"Angel, Dawn, and I got in a fight."

"About Buffy?"

"Yeah, about Buffy. More specifically about her leaving."

"You didn't!"

"Yeah, I did."

"You really do love to have everyone pissed at you don't you?"

"I'm going to bed. Night, Wil."

"Xander, you are crazy, you can't just go around pissing people off, especially Dawn. She's having a hard enough time dealing with losing Buffy, again. She doesn't need to deal with your shit too. You want to pick on Buffy, fine, go ahead, but not in front of Dawn. You want to get Angel and Spike so mad at you that they'll kill you, fine, but don't drag Dawn in the middle of this. You have some abandonment issue, deal with it, but don't make Dawn think you're so much of an ass that she hates you for the rest of her life." Willow could understand being upset with Buffy, she was too, but she would never say that to Dawn. "We are all she has left, Xander, don't push her away because you're mad at Buffy."

Xander just shook his head and walked away.

------------------------

Knocking on the door, Dawn waited for Angel to let her in. For a long time there was no reply, but suddenly the door tore open.

"Would you please… Dawn!"

"Umm. Hi, I'm probably intruding on brooding time, for which I'm very sorry, but I can't stay in their suite. I know it's late, but is there any way that I can sleep someplace else?" Dawn said, wringing her hands.

"Well none of the rooms are set up, but I'm sure Cordy can figure something out." Angel said, thinking that she talked the same way Buffy did. "Can I ask you something, something you probably won't like?"

"Sure, I guess." Dawn said, shrugging.

"Buffy left before, after the battle with..."  
"Yeah, she left then. Didn't really say to much, just bolted." Dawn rushed, so that Angel didn't have to finish the sentence.

"Where did she go?"

"Here, she came here."

"So she'll be alright, won't she?"

"I think she can handle herself."

"What about Faith? Did she ever talk about Faith?"

"Not after she went evil. Faith dropped out of conversation after graduation."

"Oh, well, I'll just get Cordy." He said, walking past her.

Dawn grabbed his arm, "Why? Why do you ask about Faith?"

"Well with the break-out…"

"No, there's more." Dawn said, watching for any sign that he was lying.

"I'm trying to figure out where Faith would go, and Xander seemed to think that she would go after your sister and the Gang."

"For what it's worth, I think he's wrong. Faith didn't seem big on the violence, I mean she closed her escape route off. I think she's trying to help with something."

"What kind of something?"

"Buffy, what else?" She said leaving the room to find Cordy.

----------------------

Spike listened to what Angel and Dawn were talking about, Buffy. The Bit knew Angel was lying about his motivations in asking about Buffy and Faith. He was worried about Buffy, but something was up with him asking about Faith. When Dawn left the office, he went in.

"So do you want to tell me what's going on with _her_ and Faith, or do I have to guess?"

"I'm not sure what you're talking about."

"Fine you want to play dumb, I'm talking about why you're asking Dawn about Buffy and Faith."

"I'm worried about…"  
"I know you're lying. Buffy is helping Faith isn't she."

"Why would you say that?" Angel wondered who could have found out, and told Spike of all people.

"I'm not that stupid. Why else would you ask about Faith and I know for a fact you're helping Buffy in some way, don't know how exactly, but I know you are. Is this going to endanger Dawn in any way?" Spike asked, lighting a cigarette. He shut the door, not sure how the conversation was heading.

"Why do you ask?"

"I promised Buffy I would protect Dawn before she died. I kept that promise, and nothing will make me break that promise for anyone or anything. The only reason I'm here, and not back in Sunnydale, is Dawn. I want Buffy back in Sunnydale, but I won't go hunting her down the way her friends are."

"Why do you care if Buffy goes back to Sunnydale?" Angel asked, grabbing Spike's cigarette and throwing it out the window.

"I care because Dawn is depressed about Buffy's leaving. Dawn needs her sister home."

"Buffy's worried about her, she asked if she was ok. Is she?"

"Dawn is coping the way Buffy copes. I wouldn't be surprised if one day we woke up and found a note in Dawn's place."

"I'm not sure what you're implying, but I don't like it."

"Peaches, I'm not implying anything. I'm saying Buffy runs, she's good at it. I'm also saying Dawn is a lot like Buffy, that means she'd be good at disappearing too." Spike said walking out of the office.

----------------------

"I should do that spell, before things get out of control." Willow mumbled to herself, pulling out the things she needed for her spell. Where could she burn the Lethe's Bramble? looking around she was pleased to realize that she had taken the room with a fireplace. Kneeling next to the fireplace, she gently eased the herb from its plastic bag and grabbed the crystal from its bag as well.

"For Buffy, Dawn, and Xander, this I char." Willow said, striking a match and lighting the flower on fire. "Let Lethe's Bramble do its chore. Purge their minds of memories grim, of pains from recent slights and sins." Then she held the crystal in the fire. "When the fire goes out, when the crystal turns black, the spell will be cast." She pulled the crystal out of the flames, and finished the spell. "Tabula rasa, tabula rasa, tabula rasa."

Setting the Lethe's Bramble on top of the mantle, Willow went to bed. After placing the crystal on her bedside table, she fell asleep, never noticing the rest of the Lethe's Bramble fall into the fire.

-----------------------

"Hey, Dawn, heard you need a place to sleep." Spike said, walking up behind her.

"Huh, oh, umm yeah." She said, coming out of her thoughts.

"What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing. You said something about a place to sleep."

"Yeah, you can stay in my room, I'll sleep on the couch."

"Thanks, but you really don't need to do that."  
"You can't stay in that room with them, they'll drive you crazy, and then I'll get killed. So see you can't stay in that room."

"Thanks." Dawn said, walking toward Spike's room.

Sitting on the couch, she turned on the TV to find something to watch.

"What are you doing?"

"Watching TV, I can't sleep, the whole thing with the Gang hating my sister is not conducive for sleeping."

"Ok, so is anything good on?" He asked, sitting next to her.

"Nope," she said, flipping through channels. "but Buffy says that if you flip enough something good is bound to come on. So I'm flipping."

"Is there any thing to back up her claim?"

But before she could answer, both were unconscious from Willow's spell.

-----------------------

"Faith, I'm home."

"How did work go?"

"Fine, but the visit to Angel's wasn't very good."

"Why did you two get in a fight?"

"No, but Xander, Dawn, and Angel did."

"Let me guess, Xander said something stupid that got Angel and Dawn mad."

"Yeah, it's like you were there."

"Xander will never…" Faith never finished her sentence, because she had to catch a passed out Buffy.

-----------------------

Wesley, Giles, and Cordelia were sitting the TV room, playing monopoly.

"Giles, have you heard anything about a new slayer in LA?" Wesley said, rolling the dice.

"No. Why, have you?"

"Angel thinks the new slayer is in LA."

"How does he know this?"

"Snake-eyes! Yes!" Cordelia shouted moving her car token to the free parking square. "Look at all the money I get."

"Cordy, you do realize it's fake money, right?" Wesley asked her, shocked at her excitement over the game money.

"Yeah, but it's still money." Cordelia said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I thought Anya was bad with money in games." Giles mumbled under his breath.

"Anyway, Giles, Angel said he had it on good authority, form a source that he trusted, that there were Watchers in town."

"Who is this source?"

"Angel didn't say, all he said was that he trusted his source completely."

Giles was about to roll the dice when the three of them passed out.

-----------------------

Angel sat in his office, with the notes from Buffy in his hands.

_I'm no good to anyone like this, I feel like I'm drowning and there's not much air left._ Her writing was shaky like she had been crying when she wrote it. He had to find her, help her. Her notes were getting shorter, like she was afraid the Gang would find her if they weren't this short.

_I ran into this creepy guy in tweed. And who do you think this guy was? I can't prove it but I'm pretty sure he was a watcher. I'm thinking that he's either looking for, or has found the new slayer here in LA. _He wondered if she had found out anything more about the new slayer.

Shaking his head, he stood, checking to make sure the blinds were closed, and headed for the door when he dropped unconscious.

------------------------

Fred headed from the kitchen, into the lobby. Looking around wondering why it was so quiet at ten pm, she tried to find Cordy. Checking in the TV room where Cordy was known to spend most of her time now that these people were here. There she found Giles, Wesley, and Cordelia passed out.

Running to find Angel she was shocked to find him passed out too.

She went upstairs to find Willow. Knocking on their room door, she got no answer so poked her head in. checking in Willow's room first, she shook Willow but got no response. Shaking Xander gave her no better results. Fred was officially panicking.

Trying to remember were Spike's room was, she headed down the hall. Knocking on his door, there was again no answer. Walking in, she saw Dawn passed out on Spike's shoulder. Shaking both of them, neither woke up. No one, except her, in the hotel was conscious and there was no way to wake them. This was bad. She'd better go find Lorne.

------------------------

A.N.- I'm so very sorry about the huge delay in this chapter, but my computer had a huge meltdown in regards to this story. I'm glad to be able to write this again, after the comp. meltdown. Hope you all enjoy!


	11. Forget Me Not!

Almost sixteen hours later, at six pm, a man woke lying on the floor. Rubbing his head, he wondered where he was, who he was. Standing and looking around this office, he noticed some papers on the ground. Picking them up, he read the one on the top.

_Angel, there's a lot to tell you, but I don't know how to say it. I'm taking the coward's way out, writing this letter, instead of seeing you. I'm afraid that if I see you I won't be able to leave, to go back home. I wish I could explain better. I closed the blinds so you wouldn't burn to a crisp. And in case you were wondering, I'll always be your girl._

Angel that must be him. His name was Angel , and a girl had left him this note, not just any girl, but his girl, whoever she was. Heading over to the desk, which he assumed was his, he looked for any clues that might tell him more about himself. There was an envelope with the name Buffy written across it, there some case files, and a picture of a beautiful blond.

Opening the envelope, he found a letter.

_Beloved, I'm sure you've heard, but Faith is on the loose. Please be careful, Xander seems to think that she's after you, however there hasn't been any attacks to indicate this is true._

_Dawn is fine, Spike hasn't let anything happen to her. In fact, he is teaching her how to fight. I'm not sure how, because Willow mentioned something about a chip, but that's what Dawn says. Also, Cordy took her shopping the other day, they seem to be bonding. That's a scary thought, isn't it?_

_I know you didn't ask about Willow, Xander, and Giles, but they're all fine. Willow doesn't say much, surprisingly, but she did say that they want you home. Giles spends most of his time in Wes' office, researching something, probably a way to get you to go home. Xander is being an ass to Dawn, don't worry Peroxide King Spike kicked Xander's ass for her. I'm on the verge of beating him up for you. Other than being a total ass he's alright._

_I understand your reasons for picking someone to watch out for Dawn, and as much as I hate to admit it Captain Peroxide was a good choice. Spike really does care what happens to her. He said that she was the only reason he was here, not in Sunnydale._

_I'll love you for forever, that's the whole point. Love A._

He had written this letter to Buffy, whoever she was. These people--Willow, Xander, Dawn, Spike, Giles, Cordy, and Wes--seemed close to him and Buffy. From the letters it appeared that he didn't really like Spike and Xander, but put up with them for her. Picking up the picture on the desk, he looked at it as if it would tell him something if he did. Maybe this was a picture of Buffy. If he loved this Buffy, who else would he have a picture of on his desk. Folding all the letters, he slipped them into a drawer. Standing and exiting the office, he looked for someone else.

* * *

A young woman woke up her head resting on someone's shoulder. Looking up to see who it was, the first thing she noticed about the man was his very pale hair and skin. 

"Wake up." She said, shaking the man.

"I'm up, I'm up." He grumbled.

"Who are you and why are you here?" The girl asked him.

"Me? Who are you?"

"I'm not sure, really. Are we in a hotel?" The girl asked, looking around.

"I think so, Bit."  
"Maybe we should check for ID or something?" She said poking around the room.

"Sure." he answered her, walking into a room that happened to be a bedroom. Checking the wallet that was on the bedside table he found no ID. Walking to the closet he was shocked to find that there was no girly clothing. Looking in the drawers, he discovered that there was no girly clothing at all in the room.

The girl in the main room was having better luck, however.

"Look, I found my purse." She called to him. "My name is Dawn. Dawn Summers."

"Well, Dawn, I don't think this is your room. I think you just stopped by and fell asleep."

"Why?"

"You don't have any clothing here."

"Oh." Dawn said, unsure of how to answer that. "Maybe we should go down to the lobby, see if any one else knows us." She said walking out the door.

"Fine, whatever, Bit." The blond man said following her.

* * *

Walking from the most peaceful sleep she had had in a long time, the redheaded woman looked around. "Where am I? Who am I?" 

Getting out of bed, the woman saw a laminated card sitting on a dresser. A driver's license, with her name and picture on it. Willow Rosenberg. Heading into the main room, she saw a dark-haired man watching cartoons.

"Who are you?" She yelled at the man.

"According to this card," He said, holding up his own driver's license. "I'm Alexander Harris. You?"

"Willow Rosenberg."

"You must be my lovely girlfriend."

"Why would you say that?"  
"Well we're sharing a suite."

"Well you are kinda cute."

"And hungry. I'm headed down stairs to see what this place serves for breakfast. Join me?"

"I'd love to Mr. Harris." She giggled linking her arm in his.

* * *

An ear- piercing scream woke the two sleeping men, that were sitting around the table with her. 

"What? What's going on?" The younger man asked, fixing his glasses.

"Who are you?"

"I'm, umm, I'm not sure who I am."

"What are you two babbling about?" The older man said, fully awake now.

"Who we are!" The brunette woman yelled. "Who are you by the way?"  
"I'm not sure, but I'll just check my ID." the man pulled out a wallet, and read his name of the license. "I'm Rupert Giles."

"How do I know you aren't some freaky murderer guy?" The woman asked.

Giles surveyed the game spread out on the table, while the younger man checked his ID.

"Well, do you make a habit of playing board games with murderers?" Giles asked her.

"Not that I know of."

"I'm Wesley Wyndam-Pryce." The younger man announced. "Miss, why don't you check your ID?"

Digging through the bag at her side, she pulled a wallet from it triumphantly. Checking her ID, she said, " I'm Cordelia Chase."

The open door allowed them to see that other people were filing into the lobby.

"Maybe we should see what's going on." She said, headed to the lobby.

* * *

"I'm telling you, you have to have ID." Dawn said, walking to the lobby. 

"I don't, or I can't find any."

"Look, I'm not sure why we don't know who we are- or rather who you are since I found my ID-but there has to be a reason. Maybe someone's here who know something."

"You don't know who you are either?" A redhead asked them. The man behind her on the stairs leaned in to hear what they were saying.

"What the bloody hell do you know about this?" The blonde man yelled, turning to face them.

"Hey you back off." Xander said pushing his way between Willow and the blond.

"You look really familiar." Dawn said to Willow.

"You do too, but I have no idea how I know you."

"Jerk!" Xander yelled, throwing a punch at the man, who easily dodged it. The blond man punched Xander's nose, breaking it. Dawn his her face in Willow's shoulder.

"Sorry, Bit."

"Does this feel like we're watching a rerun to anyone else?" Dawn asked.

"Yeah, its like Xander keeps putting his foot in his mouth, and this blond guy beats him up." Willow answered her, neither noticing the blond guy clutching his head in pain.

"What's wrong with him?" Xander asked Dawn, indicating the head clutching.

"Are you ok?" Dawn asked, pulling him toward her.

A few seconds later, he answered her, telling her he was fine and storming off to the lobby. He didn't like that he couldn't beat this guy up, and he didn't know why. The others only a few paces, entered the room as Cordelia, Wesley, and Giles did.

Hearing the commotion, a door on the far side of the lobby opened, and a man appeared at said door. Realizing these were probably the people from the few letters he had read, he walked into the lobby. Making a mental list from the letters; he identified the blond as Spike, the brown haired woman closest to Spike as Dawn, the two men in suits had to be the research happy Wesley and Giles, which would make the other man Xander, and he couldn't decide which woman was Cordelia and which Willow was.

"Oh everybody is okay! I was so worried last night, with everyone passed out! I'm just so glad y'all are okay!" Fred said running down the steps. "I tried to find Lorne, but he wasn't around."

However, before anyone could say anything else, a dark haired woman burst through the door.

"Angel! Thank God you're ok! You have to come with me she went off after a vampire, and she doesn't know what a Slayer is. You have to find her!" The woman said, pulling him after her.

For no reason that he could understand, he trusted her, knowing this woman that needed his help was Buffy. Knowing he should think this woman crazy for babbling about vampires, he followed her hoping he would get there in time to help Buffy.

_

* * *

_

EARLIER THAT DAY

"Buffy, you're awake. I was worried, we were talking and you just passed out." Faith told her.

"Who are you?" Buffy asked her, clearly confused. "Look I'm not sure who you are, but I'd very much like for you to tell me what you did to me to make me forget everything I should know."

"What do you mean? You don't know who you are?" After receiving a negative nod from Buffy, she continued. "Well something very important you should know, Buffy, is that you're a Slayer."

"A Slayer, as in I go around killing people?"

"Not people, um, you are a Vampire Slayer; as in you kill vampires."

"Vampires: sharp teeth, blood drinkers, big forehead. Those kind of vampires?"

"Are there any other kind?"

Buffy turned, and ran out the door, never looking back. Faith waited about ten minuets before realizing Buffy wasn't coming back, knowing Buffy was in a bad spot not knowing how to be a Slayer in LA at night sulking around dark alleys. Running after her, she saw her fighting a vampire, before running into a club.

Faith had no way of getting into the club without everyone getting screwed over. She went to the only person that could help them at this point; Angel.

Bursting into the hotel, she was glad he was there. "Angel! Thank God you're ok! You have to come with me she went off after a vampire, and she doesn't know what a Slayer is. You have to find her!"

He had gone with her without any protest, or weapon which she had thought odd but kept quiet about.

"Last time I saw her she was headed into a club, think you can get us in?"

"Yeah, umm, sure. Who are you again?"

"I'm Faith, you know: body swapping, poison arrows, soul robbers, mayor monster."

"Oh, yeah, I knew that." He said as they arrived at the club. Paying the bouncer, they went in to find Buffy. Looking around for her, he found her before he ever saw her. Making his way in her general direction, Faith followed not sure how he had found her so quickly.

"Buffy." He called over the music. She turned, looked at him as if she recognized him, and then ran toward the nearest exit which let out into an alley. He did what he somehow knew he always did, he followed her. Pushing his way through the crowds, he lost Faith somewhere behind him. The door to the alley still open, he knew she was still close.

"Buffy, wait!" He yelled, running into the alley.

"Why? What do you want?" She said turning to face him, hurt shinning in her eyes. Shocked at the pain in her eyes, he stood stunned into silence. They stood staring at each other, neither knowing why the other meant so much to them. Lyrics from the club drifted into the alley.

You're my survival  
You're my living proof  
My love is alive and not dead

They took a step closer together, knowing they could help each other, but not understanding how.

"I need you, to help me, I don't know why. I hurt, but at the same time I don't it's like I'm numb inside. Help me, please." Tears filled her eyes, as she took another step forward.

I've dropped out  
Burned up  
Fought my way back from the dead  
Tuned in  
Turned on  
Remembered the things you said 

"I don't know how, Buffy. Tell me how." He said, also walking toward her.

"I don't know, because I can't remember why I hurt. I don't know anything about me or who you are, but I know that you can help me and that I trust you. So tell me why I trust you, that might help."

I'll be your cryin' shoulder  
I'll be love suicide  
I'll be better when I'm older  
I'll be the greatest fan of you life

"Buffy…"

"Angel…"

Faith watched stunned, as he pulled Buffy into a hug. Buffy had no memory of who he was, and yet she knew his name and that he could help her. Angel's odd behavior made her wonder if he knew who he was, and yet there they stood in an alley, holding each other as if their lives depended on it.

_

* * *

_

WILLOW'S ROOM AT THE HOTEL

The blackened crystal, tottered on the edge bed side table. A gentle breeze coming through the window was enough to push the crystal off the table. When it hit the floor it shattered breaking the spell.

Everyone in the lobby, stood shocked when they got their memories back.

"Did Faith come here, and tell Angel that Buffy needed him?" Xander asked. Willow nodded her head, knowing it was her spell that did this.

"Why is Faith helping Buffy?" Xander asked the group again. "And why did she come to Angel? I knew he knew where she was. I told you, he knew. None of you believed me."

"Xander?"

"Yeah, Dawn?"

"Could you just SHUT UP?"

Pulling away suddenly, Buffy said, "Angel, I love the hair." Looking over at Faith, Buffy ran as fast as she could. Angel seemed to understand her need to flee, not chasing after her.

"Aren't you gonna go after her?" Faith asked him.

"No, she doesn't want to be hunted down, she'll come to me when she's ready." He told her, heading back into the club, to go home.

* * *

**A.N**.- Okay, i know its been awhile. sorry! also in one of the next few chapter i will include a list of song titles and singer/groups. hope everyone enjoys this chapter, i only own my plot line. Thanks, have a great day/night! 


	12. The Past Always Comes Back

"Hey, B, wait up!" Faith called, running after Buffy. Buffy stopped and turn to face her.

"What? What could you possibly want, now?"

"Why did you take off like that?" Faith said, catching up to Buffy. "You two have this moment where you know each other even though you don't have memories, and then you bolt and he doesn't go after you. I don't understand…"

"That's right you don't understand anything about Angel and I, none of you do." Buffy continued walking toward home. "Everyone thought they understood, but no one did. My mother told him to leave, she was the one person who was suppose to root for us because I was happy. Xander, Willow, and Giles turned on us when things got rough. Xander and Willow told me to 'kick his ass' when he was Angelus, but they did the spell anyway. I sent my one true love to Hell, stuck a sword in his gut and watched him sucked into Hell. Then I ran, when I came back they told me I had no right to leave. You tried to steal him from me, went so far as to 'take' his soul. No one understands it, this crazy thing we have."

"How do you know that he won't come after you? I mean you left, you must have figured he wouldn't follow you?"

"That's all part of our crazy romance. When I came back and was angry about being dead-the first time-he didn't push me to tell him what was wrong. He was just there when I finally broke down after I smashed the Master's bones to dust. I tried to push him away, but he wouldn't go. I don't want to talk about this anymore." Buffy sped up from the leisurely pace they had been walking at to an almost run.

* * *

"So when are you gonna take us to Buffy?" Xander accosted Angel as he walked in. 

"Not in your life time, unless she gives the ok." Angel said not breaking stride.

"Angel you know where she is?" Dawn asked, again inserting herself in his path.

"I saw her tonight, she goes to the cemeteries some nights, but I don't know where her apartment is. Your sister is worried about you…"

"She had a real funny way of showing it." Xander muttered.

"You want to know why she left, Xander?" Angel asked him, completely dropping what he had been saying to Dawn.

"I'm sure you'll tell me, so go ahead, Vampire." Xander said taking a few steps toward Angel.

"First, if you gonna call me 'Vampire' remember to add the 'with a soul' part. Second, she left not because she doesn't care about Dawn, but because she can't pretend everything is ok and potentially do something she'd hate herself for." Angel was now toe to toe with Xander. "Maybe you should learn your place, boy."

Willow had watched their confrontation up till now. "Angel, maybe you should back off."

Angel made no indication that he heard her, still staring at Xander.

"Willow, you're really going to stick up for Xander?" Dawn asked, somewhat hurt by that thought. "He has done nothing but insult my sister. My God, you think she was wrong to leave too, don't you?"

"You don't?"

"No, in fact I get why she would leave if this is how we'd have supported her in Sunnydale!" Dawn turned away, headed toward the stairs. "Angel, just leave it alone."

After a few seconds, Angel turned and followed Dawn upstairs. "Dawn, can I talk to you a minuet."

"Yeah, sure."

"Buffy is worried about you, you do know that right?"

"Yeah, but it's hard sometimes. It's like she wants you to stay, but she tries as hard as she can to push you away, you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I know." Angel said sitting on the steps; Dawn joined him seconds later. "I think your sister is worried that if people are close to her and die it'll hurt more than if there is distance between them."

"Does it work?" Dawn asked him.

"Never, in fact it's worse, you regret pushing them away. You wonder if things would have been different if you hadn't."

"Are we talking about you or my sister?"

"Both. I wonder how things would have been different if I had stayed in Sunnydale. Your sister regrets pushing Jenny away, she thinks that if she had been closer to her she could have prevented Jenny's murder."

"Buffy has forgiven you for those things. She says it wasn't you it was Angelus, I think I get it. For so long I wondered how she was able to look past that time, but now seeing Xander act like a total ass instead regular funny Xander, I kinda get it. I get that being an evil vampire is different than being an ass, but it the closest I get." Dawn stood, unable to think about her sister anymore. "How can Xander just forget everything that Buffy did for us. She saved Xander more times than any of us to count, and Willow, too. Why do they have to be such asses?"

"They miss her, and don't get why she left. They're hurt." Angel told her, not believing what he was telling her. Getting up he headed back downstairs, as she went up to the suite she shared with Willow and Xander.

* * *

"You just can't pretend to be okay with anything can you?" Spike asked the small group assembled in the lobby. "You don't get that Dawn is very similar to Buffy. This crap you're pulling is making her want to run, you know that right?" 

"Dawn is nothing like her sister, she knows that she has responsibilities and can't just up and leave whenever she feels like it."

"Dawn has the same look in her eyes that Buffy had since you all brought her back, that panicked look like at any second she may be gone."

Xander saw Angel reentering the lobby, "Where is she?"

"Dawn went upstairs to get some sleep I think." Angel answered, knowing Xander meant Buffy.

"Where is Buffy?" Xander rephrased.

"Maybe at a cemetery or sleeping, I'm not sure." Angel answered, his tone as if they were discussing the weather. Turning to Wesley, Angel asked. "Is there information on the new Slayer or watcher?"

"Nothing for certain, Lorne mentioned something about a Slayer at his club, but that hasn't been confirmed. Also, there were reports of vampire slaying in Sunnydale, but nothing that indicates a new Slayer."

"Fine, I'll check Lorne's club tomorrow. What about our memories, do we know what caused there disappearance."

"It's possible that it was a spell, but we don't know what it was of who cast it." Wesley answered.

"I guess we know what we'll be doing tomorrow, until then I suggest everyone get some sleep."

"You're not getting off that easy." Xander muttered, blocking Angel's exit. "We want to find our friend, and you know where she is, don't you?"

"I know she heard you say she was wrapped up in herself to care about what Faith was doing, but she did find Faith, didn't she?" Forcing his way passed a shocked Xander, he wondered out into the night.

"Well, you ready to finish our game of Monopoly?"

"Cordelia, how can you even think about playing a game?" Giles asked her.

"Well, what's wrong with playing a game?"

"Were you not in the room for the last twenty minuets."

"Yeah," she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "I also heard Angel say that we'd take care of everything in the morning, so I think we should play our game."

"She does have a point, there is no reason we can't play our game." Wesley said heading into the room were the game was set up.

"Whose turn is it?" Cordelia called after Wesley, following him.

"It's Giles' turn."  
"Giles, get in here it's your turn." Cordelia yelled.

"I'm coming." He said, leaving Willow, Xander, Spike, and Fred in the main room.

"Well, I'm gonna go smoke." Spike said to avoid, the room's tension.

Xander looked over at Willow to see what she was going to do. "Xander, where are we going to sleep; we can't go back to our room, Dawn is there."

"I'm going to sleep in our rooms, whether or not Dawn is there. Goodnight, Fred."

Willow looked around the lobby, lost. She caught sight of Cordy, Giles, and Wes playing Monopoly, as if nothing in the world was wrong. They were able to forget, if only for a few seconds, that all the evils in the world didn't exist. She wanted that, to forget that everything in her life was going wrong. Then looking out the window she saw Spike handing Angel a cigarette. The two people that hated each other the most were out front of the hotel smoking together.

Looking up the stairs, like she could see them, she thought about how the Scooby gang drifted apart. Looking back out the window, she wondered how Buffy thought that Faith was better than they were. Faith had tried to kill them, but she felt more comfortable with that convicted killer living with her than her best friends living with her. This entire thing was wrong. She, Buffy, and Xander weren't suppose to fight this way, they were bestest friends.

With a determination that Fred had never seen in Willow, Willow was out the hotel door. Rushing past the two vampires, she was down the street before anyone could ask where she was going.

* * *

About three hours ago she had successfully gotten rid of Faith, now Buffy was strolling down a quiet street. The old, Victorian houses looked happy and peaceful. She wondered what life was normally like in them. _What was is normal life like? Why am I doomed to abnormality? What made me so different from any of the other girls on this street? _

She stopped in front of a blue manor. The towering wrought-iron fencing was nicely complemented by the gate that when closed bore a large solid cross, much like the one Angel had given her all those years ago. Looking up the gate, she pushed the gate open just enough for her to slip through and gently closed it once she was in. Stopping again, she looked at the huge house that stood before her. Now that she was past the gate, she could see two wicker seats on the veranda. A small smile graced her face as she approached the front door.

Knocking, she waited for someone to answer. Several minuets later, a woman wrapped in a red terry-cloth poked her head out the slightly opened door. "May I help…" The woman said rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Looking up again she asked, shocked, "Miss Buffy?"

"Hey, can I come in?"

* * *

A.N.- Hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Also, i hope it clears up some off your questions; if not please be patient. only the plot line is mine. Happy Halloween!

AN2: that list i promised:

Chapter One: _Drive Away_ by The All American Rejects

Chapter Three: _Nothing Else Matters_ by Metallica

Chapter Four: _Cold One Comin' On _by Montgomery Gentry

Chapter Six: _Probably Wouldn't be This Way_ by LeAnn Rimes

Chapter Nine: _It Ends Tonight_ by The All American Rejects

Chapter Eleven: _I'll Be _by the Goo Goo Dolls


	13. To Haunt You

Willow was walking calmly now. She had been out two hours, and had been in and out of a few local bars, and hadn't had a drink. Now she was stopped at the main gate of a cemetery. Debating whether or not she should go in, she decided that maybe Buffy would be there and she could talk with her.

Now into the heart of the cemetery, she knew that Buffy wasn't here. At least there were no vampires, so Buffy had been here earlier. She stopped in front of one tombstone that was more like a monument, she hadn't seen anything like it, and she spent a lot of time in cemeteries. The angel was bigger than life-size, and was solid grey and white marble. It looked cold, but the angel's face showed so much love that it almost looked alive. She could almost hear it saying its inscription, "_My Angel, forever and always, because isn't that what love is?"_

This monument shook her to the bone, everything about it seemed so familiar and so foreign all at the same time. It was probably time to get back to the hotel, they might be worrying about her.

* * *

Faith has stopped looking for Buffy twenty minuets ago and headed home, well to Buffy's apartment. Opening the door she was surprised when she saw a message blinking on the machine. Pressing the green play button, she heard Buffy's boss.

"Anne, we're going to be closed tomorrow. A friend needs some help, and we're not sure how long it'll take. Really hope this doesn't ruin anything. Night, Anne."

"Wow, she even has a fake name, you can tell she's done this before."

* * *

"Miss Buffy, is something wrong?"

"Nothing I haven't dealt with before, Maggie. Are they sleeping?"

"The Master and Mistress?" Maggie said, turning off the hallway light as they headed into the living room. "Yes, they're still sleeping. I could wake them for you, if you'd like."

"No, don't wake them, I'll just hang out in the Library. Goodnight, Maggie, try to get some sleep."

"You too, Miss Buffy."

Buffy smiled as she watched Maggie climb the stairs, still obviously tired. Maggie was an elderly woman that had been here a long time, she had never said a mean thing to anyone and always with a smile for everyone.

Turning off the small, accent light in the living room, she drifted through the dark house to the Library, her favorite room in the house. It had been a long time since she had been in the house, she had spent a lot of time here during her parents divorce then she moved to Sunnydale.

Stretching her hand out to the cold metal handle, she twisted the door open. Flipping the lamp on, she wandered past the endless shelves of books. Taking in a deep breath of the musty air, she knew this was her favorite place in the world. Turning down one row, she saw a book that stopped her dead in her tracks, the same book from the first day at Sunnydale High School. That book sent the same chill down her spine now that I had that day. She felt the walls closing in on her, looking around in a blind panic she knew she had to get out of there now. Then, just as suddenly as the panic had risen in her, it was gone. She looked at the book in the shelf and looked around for anything else demon/vampire related.

By the time the sun had risen, she had three or four stacks twenty of thirty books high, the collection rivaled Sunnydale High School Library's old collection. Settled into the armchair the books were piled around, she stared blankly ahead, unsure how to proceed now that she had weeded these books out of the Library. After she had learned she was the Slayer and during her parents many fights the Library had been a refuge, a place where no vampire or demon could get her. The security of this haven was shattered, nothing was safe anymore.

* * *

"Maggie, did someone come to the door last night?" An elderly man asked, looking up from his morning paper.

"Yes, sir, Miss Buffy came. She told me not to wake you; that she would retire to the Library. I'm not sure if she is still there or not."

"Did I hear someone mention that little, blond granddaughter of mine?" Another elderly woman asked, entering the dining area.

"It seems our granddaughter came last night, and has locked herself in our Library." The man told his wife as she sat for her breakfast.

"We should go pull her out for breakfast." The woman said, pulling her husband out of his seat.

"I'll set another place then." Maggie said chuckling at their antics. Buffy definitely was the light of their lives.

* * *

Dawn woke suddenly in a cold sweat. She had been dreaming, but about what she couldn't remember. A knocking on the door pulled her from her thoughts.

"Who is it?" She called, hoping it wasn't important.

"Willow. Sweetie, we have to get all researchy, figure out about this new Slayer and stuff."

"I'll be down in a minuet; you and Xander don't have to wait for me." She told the redhead coldly.

"Ok, see you down stairs." Willow answered her, ignoring the coldness in Dawn's voice.

Pulling the blankets over her head, she realized that her father didn't know she was in town, or that Buffy was here. Granted, Buffy wouldn't want him to know, but when had that stopped Dawn from doing anything? Her grandparents! They didn't know Buffy was here either. She would definitely have to tell them, Buffy was very close to their Mother's parents.

Several minuets later, dressed and ready to research, she bounced down the stairs.

"So what are we researching first: memory loss or new Slayer?"

"Dawn! Why are you so happy?" Xander yelled from across the room, clearly not in a good mood.

"Well, I was happy because I had something to do for the first time in forever; now I'm happy because you're not." She answered, smiling sweetly. She earned a few chuckles from Spike and the LA gang, Willow was offended for Xander—who looked unimpressed by her comment. Giles just looked disapprovingly over his glasses, not commenting.

"She definitely has her sister's attitude, doesn't she?" Spike muttered to Wesley, who looked at him as if he were crazy.

"Well, Dawn, what do you want to investigate?" Angel asked her, hidden behind piles of books.

"I'm torn: memory loss, always fun; new Slayer, lots of stuffy watchers and such to make fun of and stuff. Either way lots of fun."

"Watchers are NOT stuffy." Wesley shrieked, red in the face.

"Sure they are. You and Giles aren't real Watchers, you both got fired, remember? Watchers aren't real people; they're kinda mean and stuffy, definitely not real people."

"Just because we were fired doesn't make us not Watchers."

"How do you feel about being called ex-Watchers?"

"Ok, I guess."

"Great! Ex-Watchers aren't stuffy, just paid Watchers are; conversation over. I think Giles and I will work on the new Slayer thing."

"Why Giles?" Spike asked, flipping through a TV Guide.

"You and Angel can't go out because it's daytime. Cordy doesn't seem too researchy. There is no way I'd go anywhere with Willow or Xander. So that leaves Giles or Wesley, and I like Giles better—he's practically family."

"Actually, I was going to look into the memory loss." Giles said, holding up the book he was reading.

"It was a spell someone cast, we somehow broke it, I'm sure Willow and Fred can figure out with the help of the other non-stuffy-ex-Watcher what happened. Let's go." Dawn said walking out of the hotel. When she reached the front stairs and Giles wasn't behind her, she turned around and dragged him out of the hotel.

"Why are you so eager to search for a Slayer?"

"Well, I kinda want to swing by a few places, but I promise I'll help you find the new Slayer after."

"First. We find the Slayer first."

"That could take all day." Dawn whined.

"Oh well."

"Fine, I guess."

"We should start looking in the alleys."

* * *

"Lovely granddaughter of ours…" The elderly couple burst into the Library. They stopped short, when they saw the books Buffy had piled around her.

"Hey you should probably update this: Angelus got a soul, then lost it, then got it back; I know I was there." Buffy told her grandparents, hold up a book on Angel, or rather, Angelus.

"Sweetie, what are you looking at?" Her Grandfather asked, inching closer.

"Your extensive demonology book collection; yours is bigger than Sunnydale's."

"Sweetie," Her Grandmother knelt beside her. "Can we talk about this?"

"So what are you? Witches? Watchers? What?"

"We aren't any of those things, technically."

"Then what are you, technically?"

"Retired."

"Retired from what, Grandpa?"

"Watching."

"So you were Watchers?" She waited for them to nod, and then continued. "Why is, wasn't, Mom a watcher, too?"

"We didn't want our family to be under the shadow of the Council. When I found out I was pregnant, your Grandfather and I resigned from the Council. For a long while everything was fine, and then you were born."

"You make it sound so grim."

"We got a letter from the Council, for the first time in almost twenty years."

"And these creepy people said what?" Buffy asked.

"The letter said you were a potential. Didn't you ever wonder why?" Her Grandfather asked her.

"Why, what?"

"Why you weren't ripped away from us, your mother, your family?"

"I never gave it much thought." Then after a minuet, "I lived in this hell for the past seven years, died twice, and you couldn't find a way to say, 'We're Watchers.'"

"Sweetie, it's so hard to know that any day you granddaughter may die to save a world that didn't know how much they owed her. To know that every second was one more than you should have had. To think you only got to know your mother because we knew what a Slayer was, how to train one."

"Do you know anything about a new Slayer in town?" Buffy asked, trying to avoid the pain in her grandmother's voice.

"Not much, Sweetie. I can give you the name of the Watcher, but I don't know his potential."

"I'm gonna go get some sleep. If Dawn comes, don't tell her I'm here." Buffy left the room, the book about Angel and Angelus still in her hand.

"Why wouldn't we tell your sister you're here?" Her grandfather asked, grabbing her arm to stop her.

"You don't get to ask those questions! For my whole life you lied to me! I would sit in this Library for hours at a time, crying my eyes out because of the fights my parents because I would go out at night to save the world! You could have told me at any time what, who, I was; what I could become. I grew up this spoiled-brat because I could, I didn't know who I was. I had to be told the things I thought never existed were real, and I was the lucky one…"

"Chosen, Sweetie, not lucky." Her Grandmother interrupted her.

"Fine, that I was the Chosen one that got to rid the world of these things. So YOU don't get to ask why I do things, you just accept it."

"You don't talk to your Grandmother THAT way, you treat her with respect."

"I don't care. I have been through things that you couldn't imagine; things that you could have prepared me for."

"What kind of things?"

"Things like: sending the person you love to Hell, putting a person you thought of a sister in a coma, or dieing."

"Everyone dies."

"Not twice: they don't get bitten by a Master vamp, then drown, and live because someone gave them CPR; then a few years later jump off a tower so save the world, go to Heaven, then be brought back to life by their friends. Not everyone dies like me." Buffy stormed past her Grandparents, ran up the stairs with the book about Angelus still in her hand.

"She was in Heaven?" Her Grandmother asked, not expecting an answer. Her husband wrapped his arms around her, she leaned into him.

* * *

A.N. Happy Thanksgiving (for those in America) early. thanks for sticking with it and to all those who have reviewed. If anyone ever has a question or suggestion, let me know, I'd love to hear what you've got to say. More coming soon! Bye. 


	14. Let's Meet the Watchers!

_This street seems so familiar._ Giles thought as they walked down a suburban street. _Why would this street seem familiar, I don't think I've ever been down this street before. _After several hours of fighting with Dawn over how they should spend the day, they had had no luck finding the new Slayer. Now, about a half and hour after the sun had set he and Dawn were headed down her grandparents' street. Looking at the houses he guessed Joyce's parents were wealthy.

"My grandparents are the nicest people, they'll absolutely love you." Dawn told him, glancing back over her shoulder because he was a few steps behind the excited girl. "We can tell them that you were a friend of Mom's, from the gallery or something, and that you helped a lot after she died."

For about a half a block they said nothing, silenced ruled the wide, dark streets. Then suddenly, "Do you think Buffy had gone to see them yet?" Dawn asked Giles, half-knowing that he had no idea how to answer her question.

"Do they know about her ..." Giles still had trouble talking about Buffy's death.

"We, I never told them. I didn't know how to tell them. I finely worked up the courage to tell them the day they brought Buffy back, but with all the demons and stuff I never got to make the call, then she was back. I'm not sure if she knew they didn't know, but she loved them so much. She used to go there all the time; most of her old friends lived around here, and she liked to be away from Mom and Dad's fights. She said she could find peace in their house, that it comforted her." Dawn's eyes filled with tears as she told Giles about her sister's past. She couldn't get the picture of a Buffy not much older than her running up the big gates that always kind of scared Dawn. Buffy had been so happy in that house, Buffy had once told Dawn that that house had been her sanctuary, a place were nothing could touch her. Dawn hoped that dieing hadn't changed that. "She told me one night after Mom died that she wished she could go to her sanctuary. I asked were that was and she told me it was my grandparents' house."

Giles looked over at Dawn, who was now staring ahead of her as if these things flashed before her eyes. He noticed that she was close to tears, he was suddenly aware she was talking again. "I always wondered why I didn't feel the same way about them, but I guess the monks forgot that she was so close to them and that I should be, too." He saw Dawn smile, but it wasn't a happy smile, he noticed that it was bitter and cynical, things he had never seen in her before.

They turned, and stopped in front of a towering gate. The massive cross struck Giles as odd, but then he caught sight of the huge house and his mouth dropped open, then he snapped it shut.

"Come on." Dawn said, already passed the gate. After he was on their grounds, Dawn started for the door, Giles lagging behind her. Dawn knocked on the door.

"Grandpa!" Dawn said, hugging her grandfather after he opened the door.

"Hello, Dawn and who is that?"

"He is a friend of Mom's. Giles this is Victor Westonting, my grandfather. Grandpa, this is Rupert Giles. May we come in?" At the name Westonting, Giles' head shot up in surprise. _Was it possible that this was the same man who had been second in command of the Council? No, it couldn't be, this was Buffy's grandfather. _Giles had almost had himself convinced, until he looked at the man; it was most defiantly the man from the Council. Buffy and Dawn's grandparents were Watchers, highly respected Watchers.

"Rupert Giles, a pleasure to meet you." Victor said shooting Giles a look, extending his hand to Giles.

"Same here, sir." Giles said, shaking Victor's hand.

"Grandpa, where is Grandma?"

"I'll go get her. Why don't you and Mr. Giles take a seat in the Study?"

"Sure, there was some things that I have to tell you guys."

"Of course, dear, I think your grandmother is upstairs. I'll be back in a minuet." Victor said heading up the large, white-and-grey marble staircase. At the top of the stairwell he took a left turn, if Dawn had been paying attention she would have noticed that he was headed for the wing where she and Buffy had slept when they visited. Victor walking down the hallway, one of his favorite in the house, went to the only door that faced out the down the hall. The rich cherry wood reflected the deep red decorative carpet that ran down the center of the hardwood floor. He knocked on the door, Buffy answered.

"Your sister and Watcher are downstairs, and they'd like to speak with your Grandmother and me."

Lillian Westonting stood behind her granddaughter, holding Buffy's shoulders. "Victor, do you know what they want."

"I'm not sure, Lily, but I would think that it has something to do with Buffy, seeing as the Watcher is here as well." Victor said with a shrug.

"Just because Giles is here doesn't mean much, he's become very close to Dawn and I. Then after Mom died, he became more of a parental figure to us." Buffy said looking between her grandparents.

"We had better get down there before they wonder where we are." Lillian said, slipping past Buffy.

"Grandpa, wait."

"Yes, Buffy?"

"I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I'm just confused right now, with everything I've been through. It's a pretty big shock to find out that the people you thought you knew everything about had that kind of secret." Buffy said, tears welling in her eyes.

"It's okay, sweetie, I understand." Victor said, hugging her, before heading downstairs.

* * *

_EARLIER THAT DAY _

A knock on the door, roused Buffy from her nap. Swinging open the door, she was shocked to see her Grandmother. "Hey, Grandma, what's up?"

"I wanted to talk about this morning."

"Oh." Buffy said stepping to the side, letting her Grandmother in. "Come in."

"I'm not sure what to say exactly, but I'm sorry we lied to you." Lillian told her Granddaughter.

"I kinda blew things out of proportion; I know you thought it best to keep it from me."

"We didn't want you to know about our world unless you absolutely had to. We knew you were a potential, but most don't become Slayers, so we wanted you to be young for as long as possible. We saw that you had strength and agility, mentally and physically, so we weren't worried that you wouldn't learn if you were called; you were always a fast learner." Lillian stood, and walked toward the window. Looking out the window, she continued. "Then after you were called, we saw you rebelling from it. Your Grandfather and I spent months talking about telling about how, or what, we should tell you. We saw that this had become your safe haven, especially during your parents divorce. We knew that pushing this on you would probably do more harm than good." Lillian said looking toward her granddaughter from her place at the window.

"Thanks, I mean for keeping it from me for as long as possible."

Victor knock on the door, interrupting Buffy and Lillian's conversation.

* * *

"Sweetie!" Lillian cried, embracing her youngest grandchild.

"Grandma, it is really great to see you." Dawn said, hugging her back. Pulling away, slightly, she said, "Grandma, this is Mr. Giles, a friend of ours from Sunnydale."

"Mr. Giles, a pleasure to meet you."

"Really the pleasure is mine, Mrs. Westonting."

"Can I get you anything, Mr. Giles, a scotch or a whiskey, maybe?" Lillian asked Giles.

"No, Ma'am thanks anyway." Respect for the seniors of the council slipped into his conversation, but Dawn had mistaken it for respecting elders, especially those close to Buffy and her.

"Dawn, would you like a soda?"

"Please, Grandma that would be great."

Lillian was always shocked by the formality Dawn displayed around them, so unlike her sister's familiarity with them. "I'll be just a second." Lillian excused herself with a smile.

A tense silence filled the air while Lillian was gone. When she returned with Dawn's drink, she asked, "So what brings you to L.A., Sweetie?"

"Buffy actually does." Dawn said, unable to meet their eyes.

"What about your sister?" Victor asked, showing a shocking concern for a Watcher, Giles thought.

"She left Sunnydale awhile ago, and we think she's here in L.A., but we aren't sure." Dawn told them, glancing up. "I'm a little shocked she hasn't come here yet; I know how close she was to you."

"Honey, you know we don't love her more than we love you." Lillian said, kneeling next to youngest granddaughter.

_Sure, but that's just because the monks programmed you to love me, not because you really love me._ Dawn thought somewhat bitterly.

Giles was surprised by the amount of emotion and concern the two Watchers showed for their grandchildren. The brief time they were in the council with him, they had been as emotionless as any other Watcher. Every word and gesture was meant to soothe and comfort their girls, he was sure that they were the same way with Joyce—when she was alive. They must have known about Buffy being a Slayer, so why hadn't they told Buffy about her possible destiny, or Joyce. Did they know Dawn was a key/ big ball of energy?

"I know. It's just that I know you were close to her."

"So, Buffy is in LA? May I ask why?" Victor asked, sensing the conversation needed changing.

"Everyone at home had a big fight and she needed to get away, which I totally don't blame her for." Victor saw Giles flinch at Dawn's mention of Buffy leaving Sunnydale.

"What did you all fight about?" Victor asked Dawn.

Dawn hesitated, "I'm not really sure; something about responsibilities, actions, and consequences."

"Oh."

Faking a yawn, Dawn looked at her wrist watch, and said, "We should probably get going, before it gets too late."

"Oh, okay, Sweetie," Lillian said, disappointment laced her voice.

Giving them each a kiss on the check, Dawn said good-bye and left, never looking back. Once they were outside the gates Giles stopped walking. Looking back at the house, Giles thought he saw a shadow in one of the windows, but when he looked again it was gone.

"Dawn?"

"Yeah, Giles?"

"Whose room is that?"

"Which one: the one with the lights on?"

"Yeah."

"It was Buffy's, when we would stay here."

"Oh. Your grandparents live alone, right?"

"Maggie lives with them."

"Who is Maggie?"

"She is like their house keeper/cook, but she is more like there best friend."

"Oh." Giles said, telling himself that it must have been Maggie he saw in the room.

* * *

Buffy had to get to the library, she couldn't stay cooped up in the room any longer. Taking the back stairs that let out between the Library and the main Living Room, Buffy heard her grandmother offer Giles a drink, she heard him decline and Dawn ask for a soda. Buffy was still shocked that Dawn wasn't comfortable around their grandparents. Buffy saw Lillian leaving the room, she pulled her grandmother into the Library.

"You aren't gonna tell them I'm here, are you?"

"I told you I wouldn't, and I won't."

"Thanks." Buffy said, hugging her grandmother. "I'm going to read a little, then go on patrol."

"Sweetie, you don't have to report to me." Lillian said with a chuckle.

"Habit, I guess, though I never learned Japanese." Buffy said with a shrug, heading toward the Shakespeare plays.

"I'd better get your sister's drink." Lillian said, laughing as she left the room. "Don't stay down here reading any of the plays to long."

"I'll try not to."

Looking through the stacks, she found a very worn copy of _Romeo and Juliet_. Settling into the same chair she had the first night, she opened the book… and her cell phone rang.

"Shit!" She said fumbling for the phone. "Hello? Hi, Faith, what's up?"

"Where have you been?" Faith yelled over the phone.

"I'm at my grandparents house, I'll be home tomorrow night."

"I have been worried sick about you! For all I knew you had been killed! Don't ever not call home again! Have a nice visit with your grandparents. Bye."

"That was weird, but then again when isn't Faith?" Buffy muttered to herself, slipping her phone into her pocket. Picking up her book, she slipped into the hallway, up the stairs, and into her room. Looking out the window, she saw Dawn walking away, the pain apparent on her face. Jumping out of the window, she saw Giles glance up at her window; hopefully he hadn't seen her. She waited until they were a little farther down the street, then she climbed out the window and followed them back to the hotel a few yards behind them the whole way. When they were safely in the hotel, she turned and saw Willow coming down the street. Turning away from the approaching Willow, Buffy slowly walked down the street head down. She kept walking until she found herself at the gate of a cemetery. All of the sudden she felt like she was being pulled into the cemetery. Rushing into the cemetery, she followed the pull straight to a huge fight. Crap, she didn't want to deal with this, not tonight. Getting closer to the fight, she felt the pulling get stronger. The mystery man had the fight down to two vampires, correction one-the second just became dust. The stake was knocked out of the man's hand, she couldn't make out any details, the man had dark hair, but it was an odd color, blue or purple, maybe. Purple! Purple, in a cemetery, fighting vampires…crap! The vampire had the stake and was approaching Purple, just as the vamp was about to finish the fight, he felt a tapping on his shoulder.

"What!" He yelled, game face on.

"Just a word of advice: next time pick a fight you can win." The vampire scoffed at the petite, dark haired woman.

"What are you gonna do about it?"

"Can I have that stake, please?" She asked, with a smile.

"This one?" The vampire asked, holding it slightly above her.

"Yes, please." She said, nodding.

"No."

"Don't say I didn't ask nicely." She told him with a shrug.

"What are you going to do about it?"

"This…" Buffy said, breaking the vamp's arm. ",,,and maybe this." She kicked him in the face, breaking his nose. A few more kicks and punches, Buffy had the stake and pulled the vampire up by the throat. "Don't underestimate a girl whose boyfriend you tried to kill." Plunging the stake into his chest, Buffy watched the stake land in the pile of dust on the ground.

"Thanks." Purple said.

"Angel, it's really not a problem. Just doing my job, right?"

"Buffy, is something wrong?"

"Yeah, just about everything."

"What went on today?"

"I saw Dawn, from a distance, and she was in a lot of pain. Did I do the right thing, leaving Sunnydale, the way I did?"

"You had to take care of yourself, in order to take care of them."

"Thanks." Buffy said linking arms with Angel, resting her head on his shoulder.

"You're welcome." Silenced reigned; Buffy didn't know how to begin to tell him about Heaven, and Angel just didn't talk much.

Then after several moments, "How is Dawn? I know she can be a handful."

"Surprisingly, she had been the best from your neck of the woods."

"Really, I thought Willow would be." Buffy said looking up at Angel.

"I've been disappointed by Willow; it's like everyday she becomes less of the girl I knew when you were in high school and more like Xander."

"Why, what did she do?" Worry, inadvertently, invading her voice. "She hasn't been doing too much stupid stuff, has she?"

"She just doesn't seem to care about others as much as I remember, like she's forgotten how you all met."

"No one can carry the weight of the world all the time, not even me. There was a moment last year when I gave up, long before I died."

"Anything else happen today?"

"My grandparents are, were, Watchers, apparently pretty high up, too." She said matter-of-factly.

"What?"

"Yeah I know, right? They have this huge collection that would make Giles and Wes jealous; I'd say a quarter of their library is all about demons."

"How would you know percents of the books in their library?"

"I think I'm offended by that. I'll have you know that I do know what the inside of a library, other than the high school one, looks like." She said, mock anger in her tone, "If you don't belive me ask Dawn—not about our grandparents being Watchers though, I'm not sure that will go over well."

For a few more yards they were quiet.

"Oh, by the way, I got more info on the Slayer."

"What kind of info?"

"Her Watcher's name and address, for one."

"I'm shocked, Dawn and Giles were out all day trying to find information, and you just show up with it."

"I know, I'm pretty impressive." She said, a real smile gracing her face. It was the first time she had truly smiled in a long time. "Look about the Gang, right now the only one that I really care about is Dawn and I guess Spike cause he's not going to leave her side anytime soon. If they get to be too much trouble just throw them out, send them home."

"I've tried sending them home; Willow and Xander aren't going anywhere." He said looking down toward her.

"Well, I don't have anything other than the Slayer info to pass on, you?"

"Wes told me there has been some slaying activity in Sunnydale; know anything about it?"

"Normally, I'd guess one of the Gang, but everyone being here in LA I'll have to think about it, see if I can come up with anything." She looked up, suddenly excited. "Christmas is only a week away, can you believe it?"

"No, it seems like it was just Thanksgiving."

"I wish, then maybe Xander would have gotten another disease, like a brain or the ability to think!"

"I don't think I've heard you ever come down that hard on him before." Angel said with a small chuckle.

"Well, if you think Willow got bad, just think about Xander." Buffy paused, as if unsure if she should say her next comment.

"What?"

"I was just thinking."

"You thinking is never good." He told her earning a smack. "Okay, okay, what were you thinking about."

"Nothing really, but I'd kinda like to have a white Christmas, without suicide attempts. California born and raised you don't see too many snow storms."

"I'm not sure how to control the weather, when I learn I'll tell you."

"I know, it's just that I always liked the snow I got to play in when we visited relatives out of town."

"Snow is good. I like snow, it helped save my unlife." He said, trying to cheer her up. It seemed to work because she rested her head on his shoulder until about a block from the hotel.

"I'm gonna walk on the other side of the street, so nobody from the hotel sees me. If Giles says anything about the grandparent Watchers, don't let him know you know."

"I'll do my very best to be Cryptic Guy."

"Good, and don't make fun of me with my own words, use someone else's—it'd probably sound better." She said, crossing the empty street. Once across she waved goodnight and disappeared around the corner.

* * *

AN- Enjoy! please tell me what you think always like to hear your thoughts. i have a few more to get up before Christmas so keep an eye out! Have a great day! 


	15. Question & Answers

"Angel, I'd like to speak to you."

_Great, of course I have to deal with Giles NOW. _"Giles, what can I help you with?"

"Can we talk in your office, please?"

"Sure." Angel said, opening the office door. "Now what's this about?"

"Buffy and Dawn's grandparents."

"What about them?"

"I used to work with them, they were pretty powerful Watchers."

"How do you mean?"

"Lillian and Victor were both heads of several departments in the Council. I suppose you could say they were like second in command."

"Do the girls know?" Angel asked, sitting in his chair, chin resting in his hand, looking like he was thinking this through.

"I don't think so, at least Dawn doesn't and I've never heard Buffy mention it. I'm not really sure what to do."

"Meaning what?"

"Should I tell Dawn now, and Buffy when we get back to Sunnydale?"

"I'm not sure that it's your secret to share; I think it has to come from them."

"What if they never tell the girls?"

"Then you don't have to worry about it. In any case, I have some information that may interest you."

"What kind of information?"

"That new Slayer; I have her Watcher's name and address." Angel said handing Giles the slip of paper Buffy had given him not twenty minuets ago.

"How did you get this?" Giles asked him, staring in shock at the paper.

"If I reveal my source, I mightn't get any more information from them."

"This is good," Giles muttered as he left the office, seeming to forget Angel.

"I bring them the best information and I get forgotten." He muttered in mock anger, standing to shut the office door.

* * *

When Buffy had gotten back to her grandparent's house, she was somewhat surprised to see a huge Christmas tree standing in the center of the room, and dozens of boxes of decorations scattered about it. 

"Wow! You guys move pretty fast. None of this was out when I left." She said from the doorway.

"Oh, good, you're back! We didn't want to start without you!"

For the second time that night a huge smile shone on her face as she helped them decorate the tree. For the fist five minuets, she and her grandparents were decorating; but later Maggie brought in Hot Cocoa and then helped them decorated.

The tree had five Santa's, two dozen assorted colored ball ornaments, a few clip on birds, a baby's fist Christmas for Dawn and Buffy. Buffy was about to hang another, but stopped when she saw what it was. Inside of a snowman shaped frame was a picture of Dawn, her Mother and her smiling in front of a roaring fire. Buffy guessed she was about thirteen or so, and Hank wasn't in it so this had to be about the time the fighting started. Tears welled in Buffy's eyes as she looked at her mother an arm wrapped around each of her girls, the biggest smile she had ever seen on her mother. Lillian noticed Buffy wasn't hanging anything up and looked to see what she was doing.

"Sweetie, what have you got there?" She asked gently, taking note of her granddaughter's tears.

Buffy made no motion of having heard her grandmother, as she stared down at the picture.

"Oh, Honey." Lillian said when she saw it was the picture of Joyce. Buffy tried to look at her Grandmother, but she couldn't tare her eyes from the picture.

"She looks happy."

"Sweetie, she was."

"This was taken before I was called, wasn't it?"

"Yes, it was."

"This was the last time she was really happy, wasn't it?"

"Your mother was truly happy up to the very day she died. Don't you ever think otherwise, there were times when she was upset or worried about you and Dawn, but she was never unhappy when she was around you girls." Lillian softly admonished Buffy.

"How can you be so sure, you weren't in Sunnydale that whole time?"

"I didn't need to be there; every time I talked to her I could tell she was happy."

"Then why weren't you at her funeral?"

"We wish we could've been, but we were called to England and couldn't get out of there when you called us. By the time we got back, she was buried and everyone was gone. We tried so hard to get back to you girls."

"Why were you called to England?"

"The council had questions about thing that they had to ask in person."

"You quit the council."

"You can never fully quit the council, especially when you have as much authority as we did." Victor told Buffy. "You have friends and resources that you don't want to ever fully burn the bridge to; especially when your granddaughter is in danger every night."

"So it's my fault you weren't at her funeral?" Buffy asked, hanging her head in shame.

"No! It is most defiantly NOT your fault, don't ever think that!"

"But it is; if it weren't for me, you wouldn't have been in England when she died."

"There is no way to know that."

Buffy broke into tears, the snowman still clutched in her hand. Lillian rushed forward to hold her crying granddaughter. Buffy began to sink to the floor, bringing Lillian—who was also crying now—with her. Victor was on the floor trying to comfort both women, while he fought his own tears back. Maggie quietly slipped from the room knowing that as much as she was family, she wasn't; and they needed to comfort each other.

* * *

"Xander…" 

"Yeah Wil?" He said, glancing up at her.

"I was in a cemetery tonight…"

"Willow, you know that going out there at night is dangerous!" Xander cut her off.

"In any case, there was a memorial that we should check out tomorrow morning."

"Why?"

"You need to look at it."

"Why is this particular monument so important?"

"I think I've seen it before, but I've been in any LA cemeteries."

"In the morning we'll go look at it." The sat there unsure of what to say. Then Xander said, "Will, did you find anything on our lack of memories?"

"I'm not sure yet, I found something but it may be nothing. I have to look into it more."

"Oh… hey where did you go tonight?"

"Just around to a few bars to see if anything was going on."

"Willow went to some bars?"

"Yeah, but then on my way back I thought I saw Buffy."

"What do you mean _thought_ you saw her?"

"Xander, I would've sworn it was her but the hair was wrong; this girl had black hair." Willow burst into tears, wondering if she had let her best friend just walk away.

* * *

"You and the Watcher were gone a long time." Spike said to the young girl who slipped out the front door of the hotel, to where he was smoking. 

"I went to see my grandparents."

"Oh? How did that go?"

"Well enough, but…"

"But what?"

"I thought I heard a cell phone ring."

"What does that mean."  
"My grandparents don't have cell phones, and I don't think Maggie has one either."

"So someone else was in their house? And who is Maggie?"  
"Maggie is the maid, but more like family; and I think Buffy was at their house."  
"Did they mention her being there?"

"Not one word."

"Maybe she asked them not to?"

"Probably, she must think that we all are here to force her home."

"It can't be a good situation for her or them, to lie to you this way."

"I'm not sure it is as akcward for them as you think. They always liked her more."

"I don't think that's true."

"They say they love me, but it's all the monks' programming."

"Those monks may be pretty crafty with memories, but they can't force someone to feel a certain way about anything."

"Thanks, I'm not sure I believe you but thanks."

* * *

AN- Sorry, i know its short but it's just a segway to the next chapter. Which should be out later this week in time for Christmas. Hope you enjoy. i love hearing from you, so tell me what you think or if you have any questions. Bye! 


	16. Merry Christmas?

**Chapter 16**

"God, look at me! I'm a crying sobbing mess!" Buffy said, wiping the tears from her face.

"It's okay, Sweetie." Victor said , helping her stand.

"No, it's not. I've got to figure out how to live without Mommy."

"She's been gone for a while." Lily said as gently as possible.

"She's been in Heaven for a while." Buffy corrected.

"Oh… you were with her and now you have to be without her again." Lily said stating the obvious.

"I can see her standing in front of me telling me about everything and anything that came to her, but it's not real; not anymore."

"Sweetie, maybe you should just get some sleep." Victor said.

"Tomorrow is Christmas." Lily added, clinging to her granddaughter.

"Goodnight guys." Buffy whispered as climbed up the stairs.

* * *

"Merry Christmas!" Dawn yelled, bounding down the stairs into the lobby where everyone was gathered.

"Merry Christmas, Dawnie." Willow said, stepping toward her as if to hug her.

"Don't!"

"Don't what?" A very concerned Willow asked, stopping in her tracks.

"Don't touch me, don't hug me."  
"It's Christmas, which granted doesn't do much for menorah-girl me, but you celebrate Christmas."

"Are you still upset with my sister?" Dawn asked, in the coldest voice any of them had heard her use.

"What?" A flustered Willow studdered.

"Do. You. Still. Hate. My. Sister?" Dawn asked saying each as if Willow didn't speak English.

"No, no I… I don't … hate her I mean."

"Really, cause that's not very convincing." Dawn muttered, brushing past Willow. "Not celebrating with you or Xander."

"Why not ME!" Yell Xander.

"If Willow hasn't stopped being pissed at my sister you haven't either. I don't celebrate with people who hate my family." Dawn said, walking further away from Willow and Xander. They saw and heard her wish the two vampires and the LA gang a Merry Christmas.

"Hey, Will?"

"Yeah, Xand?"

"Where is Giles?"

"Out looking into the new Slayer, I think."

"Oh?"

* * *

_Later that Evening_

The phone rang, startling everyone in the room.

"You think people wouldn't call on Christmas." Spike muttered, while Fred answered the phone.

"Angel?"

"Yes, Fred?"

"There is a girl on the phone who says she is a friend and you'll want to talk to her."

"I don't have a friend who doesn't give their name." Angel said.

Fred listened to the person on the phone, then said, "She wants to know who said she was your friend?"

Angel recognized the code that this mystery girl was trying to send, and said, "If she is that persistant I'll take it in my office." As Angel went to his office, he heard Fred connecting her to his line and hanging up the phone.

Slamming the door, he reached for the phone. "You took a big chance calling, any of them could have picked up."

"I'm not that stupid, I had a plan."

"Yeah what was that?"

"To hang up on them."

"Clever; what's up?"

"I need you to kidnap Dawn."

"What?"

"Yeah, you have to bring her to the coffee shop down the street, I'll pick her up there."

"What about everyone here?"

"Ignore them?"

"Seriously."

"You can think of something; but I want to spend some of Christmas with my sister. Please, Angel?" She whined.

"How long until you are there?"

"Two minuets give or take."

"Fine I'll be there soon."

"You are my hero." With a click she ended the call.

With a sigh he hung up the phone, stood, and reentered the lobby.

"Dawn you want some coffee?"

"Umm… sure?"

"Get your coat let's go."

"Okay." She said pulling on her jacket, walking toward the door. When they were a block away, Dawn asked him, "What is going on?"

"We are going to the coffee shop."

"Okay." They were silent for a long time.

When she was about to say something, Angel cut her off saying, "We're here." Holding the door open for her, he let her into the cozy shop before him. He say Buffy sitting in the corner, head down, deep in thought.

"Let's get a seat, then I'll get the coffee."

"Okay."

He saw Buffy's head shoot up at the sound of their voices. As Dawn walked past, absorbed in the little coffee cups that lined the wall, Buffy reached out and grabbed her arm.

"Hey! Get your…" Dawn started, snapping her head to see who grabbed her.

"Merry Christmas, Dawnie." Buffy said, wrapping her arms around her little sister.

"Merry Christmas, Buffy."

"This was my clever way of getting to spend some time with my sister on Christmas, we are going to meet the grandparents for Mass later, but I wanted to see you before then."

"Why didn't you try to get me earlier?"

"How? Angel and Spike couldn't go out till after dark, and no one else would just let me spend time with you without playing nine hundred questions."

"I missed you."

"I missed you, too."

"I'm gonna go. Do you want me to swing by and pick her up later?" Angel asked.

"No, I'll call you tomorrow to pick her up. Thank you for sneaking her out, it would have been a very bad Christmas without my sister by my side." Buffy told Angel. "Merry Christmas, Angel."

Buffy went to the counter to buy Dawn a coffee while Angel left the shop. When Buffy came back, Dawn thanked her, taking the coffee. Angel saw that they were chatting happily before he headed home.

* * *

"Will, it really isn't that bad." Xander said. 

"She won't talk to us, but she'll get coffee with a vampire; I'd say it's that bad! Everyday she gets more like Buffy, and that scares me."

"I don't like it either, but there is nothing we can do about it. When Buffy ran away, she brought Dawn's attention with her. If Buffy hadn't left then we might have had a chance with Dawn, but now that chance is gone."

Spike was outside the room they were talking in, listening to every word they said. He'd better warn Angel about the rebellion that was about to break out. He mightn't like Angel but Buffy and Dawn need them to work together.

Spike sat in the now cleared out lobby, waiting for Angel to return.

* * *

"May I help you?" Maggie said, opening the manor door. 

"I'm here to speak with Victor and Lillian."

"Is it important? They are getting ready for their Christmas party."

"It is work related."

"Who's at the door, Mag?" A gentle voice asked.

"A man that wants to talk about work."

"I'll take care of it, Mag, why don't you get something to eat?" Lillian said, behind the half-closed door. A few seconds later the door swung all the way open. "What do you want?"

"I want to talk to you and Victor."

"Mr. Giles, I don't like you much, so you shouldn't use that attitude with me. Furthermore, you don't have the right to come to my home and talk to me this way." Lillian's voice had gone from a normal tone, to the quiet anger the Summers women were known for. Giles knew now it came from Joyce's family and not Hank's, so it was the Westonting temper Joyce and her girls had.

"Lil, is something wrong?" Victor asked joining his wife at the door.

"Mr. Giles wants to talk to us."

"Is this business related?" Victor asked him like he was a little kid.

"Yes, sir."

"You have five minutes. In my study now!"

When they got in the study, Victor made Lillian and himself a drink, ignore Giles.

"Do the girls know that you are Watchers?"

"What we tell out girls is none of your business."

"Yes it is! These girls need to know!"

The front door opened. A dark head of hair peaked into the house, hearing yelling Buffy turn to Dawn and put her finger to her lips telling Dawn to keep quiet.

"They are our granddaughters and we know what is best for them!" Victor's deep voice boomed through the house.

"You were just like Hank, didn't care enough to show up to bury your daughter." Giles said, pouring salt into these wounds that hadn't healed.

"And whose fault is that? You're the one that had all the heads have an urgent meeting in England!"

"I did that to make sure nothing interrupted the funeral, Lillian!"

"Dawn, maybe we should leave." Buffy whispered pulling her sister out behind her.

"I have to live everyday with not being at my daughter's bedside and then funeral. That pain is all your fault, we quit so we could be there for her and her children. We thought we'd have to bury Buffy not her mother, you didn't even let us be there for Buffy's funeral, had us sequestered in meetings again."

"You've upset my wife enough, get out." Once Giles was outside, and Lillian couldn't here them, Victor added, "And, Mr. Giles?"

"Yes, sir?"

"If you upset Buffy, Dawn, or Lillian again, I'll have you deported." Victor slammed the door in the younger Watcher's face.

* * *

"Things are getting bad down there, maybe we should do something?" 

"Wait a little while longer, let's see if they can pull them selves out of this without us."

* * *

"Crawford is clean." Riley radioed base camp, feeling funny being in Sunnydale again. He was surprised at the demon population, what was Buffy doing? He was going to pay her a visit in the morning.

* * *

AN- i know this was suppose to be up before Christmas, and i'm very sorry, but the holidays got hectic. the chapter didn't get finished in time. i have a little more Christmas/New Years before we can leave the holiday season completely. Hope you like it. SORRY! 


	17. A Tale of Slavery Rings and Vacuums

Angel walked into the hotel, to find Spike sitting on the round couch in the middle of the room, smoking.

"How many times do you have to be told not to smoke around me?"

"I didn't think it mattered; after all you smoked with me the other night. Hey, where is Dawn?"

"Out."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing."

"You sold her didn't you?"

"Yeah, I sold Dawn to an inter-dimensional black market slavery ring."

"Who?"

"Who, what?"

"Who bought Dawn?"  
"Don't worry, Dawn will be back sometimes tomorrow."

"You have a return policy on Dawn?"

"She'll be back, don't worry."

Angel went upstairs to think about the best way to keep Buffy and Dawn safe, and deal with this black market thing.

* * *

"Buffy?"

"Hmmm?"

"After Christmas do I really have to go back?"

"Dawn, can we talk about it later, this is not the light-fluffy I had planned for today."

"It's just that I miss you, and the things that they can say are so mean that I think violent thoughts."

"Sweetie, I miss you too, and you don't have to hate them for me."  
"Do you; hate them I mean?"

"I'm not sure, but I'm angry with them and that you are stuck in the middle of this." Buffy said, unlocking her apartment door. After the seen at their grandparents' house, Buffy thought she would call before returning. Since she wasn't sure how long it would be she decided to show Dawn were she was living, to prevent some of her little sister's worries.

"Faith?"

"Huh?" Faith called from another room.

"Any calls?"

"No." Came her muffled reply

"Dawn is visiting for a while, is that okay?"

"It is your apartment."

"I wasn't sure if you had any guests my sister shouldn't be exposed to until she is forty or so years old."

"Cause breaking out of jail really allows for down time." Faith said entering the room, her hair wet from a shower.

"With you, you never know."

* * *

"Angel sold Dawn."

"Spike what, prey tell, are you talking about?"

"Well Watchers and Cordelia, Angel sold Dawn on the black market." Spike told them, saying the last part like they were young children who didn't understand what he was saying.

"I'm not a rocket scientist or anything, but why would Angel sell Buffy's sister? Wouldn't that make Buffy not like him?" Cordelia asked.

"Cordelia is right, Spike, even though not grammatically." Giles said, cleaning his glasses on his shirt, while Wesley moved his monopoly piece four spaces to Marvin Gardens and paid Cordelia rent.

"Don't you people do anything but play Monopoly?"

"No, not really." Cordelia said, rolling the dice. Spike left in a huff.

* * *

The sun really made a difference around here; no vampires or demons roaming the streets. Revollo drive hadn't changed a bit since he was here last, about a year ago. Walking up to Buffy's house, he knocked on the door, waited several minuets, then knock again. After several minuets of no answers he started yelling for her. This time a door swung open, and a curly, gray head popped out of a neighboring house.

"Young man, what are you yelling about?"

"The young lady that lives in this house have you seen her?" He yelled to the elderly next door neighbor.

"Buffy?" She waited for a nod, "She went to LA, had to visit some people and things. Didn't want her family to worry about her, are you family?"

"I'm an ex."

"You're not the first ex, the one from high school; you're the other one, the college one."

"Yes, I dated her in college; is something wrong with that?" Riley asked, not liking were this was headed.

"I liked the other one better, Angelo I think was his name; he had manners and he made that sweet girl happy. It's a good thing he came back after Joyce died, Joyce was Buffy's world I don't think Buffy would have made it through the night without him."

"Angel, ma'am. What do you mean came back after Joyce died, I didn't hear about Joyce's death."

"Didn't anyone ever teach you NOT to correct an old woman? And I don't think anyone TOLD Angelo about Joyce either, he just knew. That is how much Angelo loved Buffy, you couldn't compete." The old lady retreated into her house, annoyed and done talking to this whippersnapper who was after sweet little Buffy, who should be calling anytime now.

Joyce had really done a great job with that girl; she used to see Buffy check on her almost every night after her dates with Angelo, for the past five years the old widow hadn't been alone on Christmas, and Buffy liked to help with anything she could—taking out the trash, listening to stories about how awful her kids were, or gardening. Now Buffy called everyday at half past twelve to see how she was doing. The phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Mrs. McKinley, Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas, Buffy, how are you?"

"I'm good, really good." Buffy said, and Mrs. McKinley could hear a smile in her voice.

"Who are you spending Christmas with, dear?" McKinley asked, debated whether or not to tell Buffy about the boy that came to see her.

"I'm hoping to spend it with Dawn and some other family down here in LA."

"That's nice, honey."

"I only have one regret about not being in Sunnydale for Christmas."

"What's that, dear?"

"You having to spend it by your self."

"Sweetie, before you came to Sunnydale I spent a lot of Christmases alone, you need to be with your family." Mrs. McKinley paused, then suddenly burst out, "Miely was here."

"Who?"

"That boy from your college, the one you dated."

"Oh, that Miely." Buffy had learned not to correct Mrs. McKinley's errors with names. "Did he say what he wanted?"

"Asked where you were, he may be headed to LA, dear. I'm sorry."

"It's okay really I can take care of him. Mrs. McKinley don't invite anyone in and don't leave your house after dark, you know how dangerous Sunnydale is."

"You tell me that everyday, I won't. Buffy, sometimes I think you are the only one in the world that cares about me."

"Well I do care very much about you, but I doubt I am the only one."

"Good-bye, dear, make sure you spend lots of time with your sister."

* * *

Gunn hadn't seen Anne in several days, and it was Christmas—he remembered the calls he got every year at Christmas time. She hadn't missed a year since they met; not talking to her on Christmas almost made it not Christmas. So he picked up the phone, and dialed her number.

"Hello?" Came her voice over the phone.

"Anne? It's Gunn." He said, just as Angel stormed into the room, and behind him Spike.

"Weren't you telling on me?" "Anne" heard Angel ask.

"Well, I told the Watchers, but they didn't care that you sold Dawn to some demon slavery ring."

"Hey, guys, I'm on the phone here." She heard Gunn tell Angel and Spike in a very stern voice.

While "Anne" was trying not to laugh, Dawn whispered, "Who is it?"

"You remember Gunn, from Angel's?" Dawn nodded in the affirmative. "Him."

"I didn't think you ever met him." Dawn whispered, Spike yelling over the phone about how Buffy would kill the both of the vampires for Angel's selling Dawn.

"The summer after the…Angelus thing. We met on patrol, and he helped me over that summer."

"Ohhhh." Dawn muttered, just as Gunn rejoined the conversation.

"I'm sorry, but the boss has these crazy people over who are accusing him of selling the girlfriend's sister on some demonic black market slavery ring. If he did sell her I'd be pretty mad, she was the only one who didn't piss me off. One of them accused me of talking to the girlfriend while I going out to meet you. These people are wacky, I get the girlfriends need to get out, away from them."

"So, what's up?"

"I was calling to see if you wanted to go out for Christmas?"

"Oh, well I had some plans for early tonight, I'm going to Mass with the grandparents, but after that we could go out for about an hour."

"Hey I'll take what I can get." "Anne" heard something smash in the background.

"Hey, Gunn?"

"Yeah?"

"Maybe you should check that out, then tell me later?"

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea."

"Anne" could tell he was hanging up the phone as she heard Gunn yelling at Angel and Spike. Hanging up the phone, Buffy said, "Dawn, we should probably call the grandparents."

"Yeah. Buffy, why was Giles there?"

"I don't know, Dawn." It was quiet for a moment, but suddenly Buffy said, "I miss her."

"Who do you miss?"

"Mommy." Buffy said, her eyes glistening with tears. "It was more than leaving Heaven that they did to me; they took Mommy away from me again. That's why I ran, being in that house, Dawn, it was too much. I know that it's selfish to tell you, but she was there talking to me and there wasn't anything that could take us away from each other. No vampires. No tumors. No more death. One thing that there was: were friends, Dawn, and they ripped me out of Heaven."

Dawn noticed Buffy wipe away the tears running down her face.

"It's funny though; I don't remember much about Heaven, but I remember Mom hugging and kissing me. She wrapped her arms around me so tight I though she might break a rib if we weren't dead, and then she told me how much she loved me and you. She took a tiny step away from me, closed my eyes, told me to tell you she loved and missed you. Then she grabbed me, holding me to her like she was protecting me from something; like she was trying to stop someone from separating us again. She told me keep my eyes closed and to keep going until I could see the stars. She said that she would be like one of those stars, always watching out for us. She kept talking, trying not to let me see her fear, but I felt like I was sucked up in a vacuum cleaner spinning around and around. Then nothing; everything was still. I opened my eyes and I wasn't in Heaven anymore, it was like Hell. You were the reason I stuck around Sunnydale so long. It was too much, I didn't know what to do or how act. I freaked and ran; I'm sorry that I had to put you in the middle of all this."

"Buffy, why are you telling me this?" Dawn asked, nothing had prompted this conversation but she was glad that Buffy could tell her what happened.

"I don't know; there's a lot I don't know anymore, but I felt like I was in a huge room full of water that was getting higher and higher, and I was running out of air. The only way to get more air was to tell someone, and you had the right to know first, after all she sent some of the message to you."

Dawn wrapped her arms around her older sister, her own eyes spilling out tears. Buffy needed Dawn's help and even Hell couldn't stop her from giving Buffy the help she needed.

* * *

AN- Thank you everyone who has read this story, and who has had the patiece to deal with my lack slowness in posting. i'm sorry that we're still in Christmas, a few more chapters. Enjoy!


	18. Libraries and Couches

"Okay, I don't have time to deal with you vampires." Gunn said, as he hung up his cell phone. "Who broke what?"

"Angel broke some vase."

"I did not!"

"Yeah, I saw you do it!" Spike yelled back.

"How old are you two seriously? Three? I don't have time to deal with this. Spike you will help Angel clean up the vase thing. You guys are at least a hundred years too old to act this way."

"Spike started it!"

"Angel, are you kidding me! You run a business, you save people everyday; STOP acting like you're some little kid!"

"Ha ha, you got yelled at." Spike said, clearly happy that Angel got yelled at and he didn't.

"Spike, you don't have a soul; don't push your luck. I'd dust you now but I'm going out and don't want to change." Spike took a step behind Angel, trying to put space between him and Gunn.

"God, you think vampires would grow up!" Gunn muttered leaving the room.

* * *

"You thought it'd get better on it's own!"

"I'm still not sure it won't."

"Now the vampires are acting up. Two days, if it isn't better by then I step in."

"Yes, sir." The young looking girl said, still watching each person involved in this tangled web.

* * *

"Agent Finn, where have you been?"

"This base's reactivation is going better than expected, but there is something I need check out in LA. I'm heading out in an hour or so."

"Sir, is it wise to leave now?"

"That isn't your decision; it's mine."

* * *

"So, Dawn, I called the grandparents and we can go back now." Buffy said, coming in from the small kitchen area. Dawn was worried, after her sister's big confession about her death she had cried a little then stopped. Once she stopped crying it was like nothing had been said or done. She didn't know how Buffy compartmentalized the way she did, but Dawn figured it came with slaying demons every night. Dawn looked at Buffy, truly looked at her for the first time. She seemed happy and carefree, but if you knew what to look for far below the surface was a pain that words couldn't describe.

"Hey, Buffy, what…" Dawn stopped. _What's it like to be the Slayer? You know to seem like you're alone in the world? To feel like there is no one who knows how you feel? Great! What is she suppose to tell you: the truth or what you want to hear. It's hard and it's painful, everyday._ Dawn thought knowing how stupid her question was going to be.

"What, what?" Buffy asked, making light of Dawn's stopped sentence.

"What are the plans for tonight, then tomorrow?" _Great cover, Dawn!_ She thought sarcastically.

"I'm not sure yet. Tonight we go to Mass with the grandparents, then I have to go hang out with Gunn for a little bit, I'll come back to the manor where we can do whatever."

"So you're not gonna hole up in the library?"

"No, God, you'd think that was all I ever did! Then tomorrow we deal with tomorrow. Get your coat."

"Great plan." Dawn whispered slinging on her coat as she walked out of the apartment. She heard Buffy tell Faith that they wouldn't be home tonight.

* * *

"Why is the right thing so hard to know?" Willow asked Xander as the put jackets on.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, like Buffy. Why was bringing her back wrong or not right? Why is saving your friend evil and terrible?"

"It isn't; remember I'm on the 'Thank God, Buffy's Back' club, or at least I was until she went and ran off abandoning her friends and responsibilities."

"She was in Heaven, doesn't that complicate things?" Willow and Xander had left the hotel and were on their way to the cemetery were Willow had saw that monument.

"Depends who you ask. The way I see it: she is our friend and she isn't dead anymore, nothing bad in that."

"Yeah, and we did it to help Dawn, so good intentions."

"Yeah, but the road to Hell is paved with good intentions." A voice from behind them said. The woman's longish black hair shined in the dark of the night. "You don't want to be out in LA without a Slayer, do you?"

"Faith, I'd say it was a pleasure but I'd rather get both my eyes slowly pried from my head." Xander said, a cold smirk sliding on his face.

"Didn't anyone ever teach you not to pick on someone bigger than you?" Faith asked, not minding a little game playing.

"You're not bigger than me." He took a cocky step toward Faith, Willow in the background watching.

"Yeah, but I'm stronger." Faith said. Allowing an innocent smile on her face, Faith looked over Xander's shoulder at Willow. "Hey, Willow, how's it going; _heavenly _I hope."

The barb dug into the fresh wounds better than Faith could have expected. "I am, doing well I mean."

"That's good, you know who isn't?" Faith's seemingly sweet smile slipped into a blank mask, that made Willow nervous.

"What did you do to her?" Xander said, Willow turning red behind him.

"What did I do? What about what you did?"

"We did what we thought was best." Willow said, defensive of her magic being called into question.

"Best for whom? Wasn't Buffy, not Dawn, sure as hell wasn't Angel. So who?"

"Buffy and Dawn were our first priority." Willow said.

"Angel didn't factor into anything, he's a vampire, in case you forgot." Xander added.

"So the possibility that Buffy would go to Heaven never crossed your minds, you really think pretty low of your friend. As for Dawn, you think that brining the sister who you thought was in a hell dimension, was the best decision. Hell dimensions drive people crazy after three months, bringing a crazy Buffy back wouldn't help Dawn. No, you did this for you, and you're trying to pass it off as something noble." Faith turned to leave, having said everything she came to say, when Xander stopped her.

"Where is she?"

"Not with me."

"WHERE!"

"With family."

"What family?"

"Grandparents." She disappeared from their sight, leaving them stunned.

"Is she just playing with us, or does Buffy really trust her more than us?"

"Will, if Buffy trusts Faith more than us, she isn't the Buffy we knew."

"Why didn't we even consider Buffy being in Heaven?" Willow asked, linking arms with Xander.

"She dove into a portal to Hell, what were we suppose to think?"

"Yeah, I guess." Not sure that that was reason enough.

* * *

"Why can't we leave the Council behind?" Lillian asked, leaning into her husband. They sat in the library, on the small leather sofa Buffy picked out almost twenty years ago. _A much younger Lillian and Victor picked up Buffy so that Joyce could spend the day out. They were in the middle of redecorating the library, and they needed a new sofa. The furniture store seemed like a huge maze of endless living rooms, to the four year old Buffy. Buffy clung to both her grandparents' hands as they went from couch to couch. After what seemed like three million sofas, the little girl found one that was perfect. Tearing away, Buffy climbed onto it. Her face lit up as she settled into the corner, it was perfect._

_"Sweetie, why did you take off?" Lillian asked, looking over her shoulder as if wondering if someone was following them._

_"I found it, Gram!" The blond said, clapping excitedly._

_"What did you find, Sweets?" Victor asked joining his wife and granddaughter._

_"It's perfect! You should get this couch!"_

_Victor lifted the tiny girl into his arms and sat on the couch next to his already seated wife. Buffy curled up in his arms. "She is definitely your granddaughter, Lillian, impeccable taste."_

_"What's indeckable mean?" The little girl asked, looking up at her grandfather._

_"Impeccable; it means that you have perfect taste." Victor told her._

_"Like Mommy?"_

_"Just like your mother." Lillian said with a smile. Finding a worker, Lillian told the nearest staff member, "We'll take it."_

"Lily, you with me?"

"Yeah, just thinking."

"I called the Council yesterday; Buffy got him rehired. He was like a father to her, and yet he can treat her like such crap; he should never have kept us from Joyce's funeral."

"But the Council, why can't we ever break away?"

"We stayed in for the girls, all of them; I never once regretted anything we did for the girls. The girls needed us to stay, and the Council was like an extension of our family, more sets of eyes to watch out for our girls. People in the Council were like our family, you can never just leave family; it hurts too much."

"Grandma, Grandpa!" The muffled voice of their granddaughters sounded in the main hall.

* * *

AN- Sorry for the huge delay. Let me know what you think. 


	19. Past and Present: Not the Ghosts

Lillian sent Buffy to her room to get ready for Mass, while she brought Dawn to the room she used to stay in.

"Grandma, I know where my old room is. You really didn't have to take me."

"Sweetie, I want to spend as time with you as I possibly can. We don't see you girls much anymore."

_You never really saw me, just Buffy. I'm a ball of energy that unlocks the thing that Buffy died to close. See, you may not know it, but I'm the reason Buffy died. If I didn't exist then she wouldn't have jumped into the portal, if she hadn't jumped into the portal then she wouldn't have died, and if she hadn't died she never would have went to Heaven just to get ripped away from Mom by our friends. I'm the reason that Buffy got ripped out of Heaven. It's all my fault._ "We miss not being able to see you guys all the time." _Maybe that's how Buffy compartmentalizes._

"I got you a new dress. I hope you don't mind." Lillian could see so much of Buffy in Dawn. _You hide your heart the way she does. _They reached Dawn's door. Lillian cupped Dawn's face in her hands. "You are just like you sister; beautiful, strong, loyal, loving. No one could want more from a daughter or granddaughter. Your grandfather and I love you girls more than anything in the world, and so did your mother. You girls were her world, and are ours." Lillian left Dawn in front of her open room.

Twenty minutes later, Buffy was dressed and ready for Mass, which started in an hour. She snuck up to Dawn's door and looked in. Dawn sat on her bed, in the stunning blue dress she and Lillian had picked out. It looked like she had been crying, but now she was just staring at the wall. At first Buffy was concerned, but she knew what it was like to need space. She would come back in fifteen minutes; if Dawn hadn't moved then she would bother her. Just as she stared to walk away, Buffy heard Dawn move to her closet.

She peeked into the living room, but found no one, so she decided to check the library. Opening the door, she smiled. She loved Christmas, and this was why. The library was only decorated at Christmas, and it was like stepping into a Christmas card. Every corner of the huge room was decorated. The small staircase's rails were wrapped in silver garland, the windows' edges were sprayed with fake frost, the bookshelves were lined with holly and pine accents, and the fireplace had a huge Nativity Scene on top. The small coffee table had a bowl of chestnuts on it. This was Christmas, the look, the smell, the feel. She took a deep breath and went to find _The Night before Christmas_. As she walked past another end table, she saw that it had been left out.

Opening the front cover, a little note fluttered to the floor.

_I can't even keep you out of this room on Christmas Eve. You think your grandmother and I don't know that you read this every year, thought I'd make it easier to find this year. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night. Grandpa._

"You shouldn't spend all your time in here; people may think you're a bookworm." A voice from the shadows said.

Startled, Buffy dropped the book with a thud. "You shouldn't do that, I have enough people following in the shadows. How did you even find me?"

"You really aren't hard to track down, demons like to talk."

"What are you doing here?" Buffy asked, picking up the dropped book.

"Could you sound anymore like you don't want me here?"

"It came out wrong, but question remains."

"I didn't want to spend Christmas alone in that apartment, so I tracked you down."

"Faith, we're going to Mass. It doesn't seem like your cup of tea."

"My what?"

"Your cup of tea, you know, like your kind of thing."

"I know what it means; I just didn't think you used expressions about tea. And it really isn't my cup of tea but I didn't want to be alone."

"How did you know I'd be in the library?"

"I snuck in this window, and heard someone come in, so I hid. Since when do you like libraries anyway?"

"Library, not libraries, Faith, and it's like my spot. People wouldn't look for me in a non-Sunnydale High library." Buffy said, shrugging her shoulders.

"What are you doing here?" A man asked from the now open doorway. "Buffy, get away from her, she's evil."

"I'm not evil; Buffy tell him I'm not evil!"

"Buffy, she is a Slayer and she killed people. The Council has been watching her from some time."

"Who is that, Buffy?"

Buffy, who had watched the back-and-forth like a tennis match, said, "Faith I'd like you to meet my grandfather; Grandpa this is Faith."

"Your grandfather is a Watcher?" Buffy nodded.

"Buffy, Faith is a killer."

"Was a killer, and she's not evil."

"Darling, she killed people and tortured others."

"You think I don't know that. She did most of that stuff in Sunnydale. She killed a man in front of me, kidnapped my friends, tried to steal my boyfriend's soul than tried to kill him. I know everything that she did. I know the stories behind them, you don't. I've forgiven her; you should just let it go."

"Buffy, she'll kill you."

"No, she won't!"

"That murderer is just playing you."

"I stabbed her, almost killed her. Council ever tell you that?"

"No, but I'm sure you were just protecting yourself."

"I went to her house and started the fight, I stabbed her, planned to let her die to feed her to a vampire. I wasn't defending myself from her. I was mad; it was the only way I could find to save…" She stopped; still not ready to tell her grandparents about Angel.

"Save who?"

"It doesn't matter now. Faith is not evil, and she's coming to Mass with us." Buffy said, storming out of the library.

Dawn watched Buffy storm out of the library and decided to see what had gotten her upset. Entering the library, she saw her grandfather staring at Faith, who was looking anywhere that wasn't at him. "Faith, what are you doing here? I thought you were gonna stay at the apartment."

"Got bored. Dawn you look really nice."

"Grandpa, have you met Faith?"

"Buffy introduced us."

"Faith, maybe we should go find Buffy."

"Yeah, let's go." Dawn started out of the room. "Sir, I'm really sorry."

Victor Westonting rarely admitted he was wrong and even more rarely admitted he was wrong out lout, but the second that Faith apologized for upsetting him he knew he was wrong. His girls weren't stupid, and if both of them could trust Faith so could he. Being head of the Council had taken away most of his ability to trust the people he loved without facts and cross-referencing in books, but there was no book for this. For the first time in a very long time, Victor Westonting trusted blindly.

A little while latter, Lily came in to tell him that they were ready to leave.

* * *

Riley was walking around LA. He had heard that Angel had bought a hotel, so he decided to check it out. Hyperion, that was the hotel's name, and there it was just across the street. He entered the hotel, not bothering to knock. The lobby was empty; no one could even be heard. He silently crept behind the "check in" counter and started looking through papers. Finding nothing interesting, he headed for a small office. His back was to the lobby as he opened the door.

"Hey, can I help you!" A voice from behind him demanded.

Riley turned, expecting the Watcher friend of Angel's, but was shocked when he was toe to toe with a muscular black man. _Shit, I'm busted._ Gunn was looking at the man's army fatigues, and thought that no good could come from this guy's snooping. Just as army man was about to say something, Gunn punched him. Riley dropped to the floor unconscious.

"Angel!" Gunn yelled, he was gonna be late and couldn't risk Army Boy here waking up.

"Yeah, Gunn?" Angel asked, looking over his shoulder to where he and Spike had been cleaning. _I really liked that vase._

"I knocked out an Army person."

"What?" Angel's face clearly showed his confusion, until he saw the body on the ground. "Riley."

"You know this guy?"

"Never did like him." Angel muttered, more to himself than to Gunn. "Why is he here?"

"Didn't ask, just hit him." Gunn looked around the room, "I don't think anyone let him in, and he was headed for your office."

"Fine, I'll take care of this, you have plans don't you?"

"Yeah, I'd better go."

"Merry Christmas, Gunn."

"Merry Christmas, Angel."

Gunn walked out the door, leaving Angel alone with the unconscious Riley. Sighing, Angel dragged him to a chair and tied him into it.

* * *

One am, Mass was over and the group was headed back to Westonting Manor. She had to meet Gunn, but if she stayed with the group too much longer she would be late. The trick was slipping away, without them asking questions. How can you explain seeing a friend who works for a vampire you just happen to have dated?

"Hey, Faith?" Buffy whispered, falling behind her grandparents who were talking to Dawn about her life in Sunnydale.

"Yeah, B?"

"I have to meet somebody, can you watch out for these guys?"

"I think I can manage. So, who are you going to meet?"

"Some guy."

"A boyfriend guy?"

"No, just a friend who works for Angel." Buffy whispered so low that Faith could barely hear her.

"Huh, so the grandparents don't know about, you know."

"No, they don't know anything about him, and I'd like to keep it that way."

"Have fun."

"Bye." Buffy said letting the group get farther ahead of her, then turned and ran toward the diner where she was meeting Gunn.

"Buffy…" Lillian asked, turning around. "Where did that girl go?"

"Someone called her; she said she wanted to deal with it on her own."

"Oh." Lillian said, clearly not believing or really caring what Faith was telling her.

"Faith, was it a work friend?" Dawn asked, worried that her sister may get hurt.

"No, no one from work; just a friend."

"I worry that she works too much."

* * *

"Hey, I thought I was late." Buffy said, as she saw Gunn walking toward her. They meet half way down the road, and headed for a small dinner.

"You were, but so was I."

"Why?" She asked as she slid into the vinyl booth.

"Uh, more unexpected quests at work."

"Oh, who?"

"Didn't wait for the name, he was from the army though."

"Army?"

"Yeah."

"Did he say anything?"

"Not before I knocked him out."

"You didn't get a name?"

"No, why?"

"Friend dated a guy in the army; he lived in LA."

"Oh, I don't think he'd come into our investigation agency."

"Hey, you never know." Buffy said with a cuckle. The waitress brought over the food they ordered earlier.

"After this let's go see Lily."

"Not gonna back out this time?"

"No, I can't wait to see her." Buffy said popping a fry into her mouth. Half way through her chewing her phone rang.

"Who could this be?" She muttered, swallowing the fry. "Hello?"

_"We have a problem."_

"How did you get this number?"

_"I thought you learned, I'm good at stalking."_

"I learned that several years ago. Now, what is the problem?"

_"Riley is here."_

"So I heard."

_"How?"_

"Getting information is what I'm good at, ask Willy."

_"What are we going to do?"_

"He's still unconscious?"

_"Yeah, how…"_

"You stalk; I know stuff. Just keep him away from people, and I'll think of something. Once my bright idea hits me I'll let you know."

_"How should I keep him away from people?"_

"That place has like a gazillion rooms; gag him and put him in one."

_"Isn't that breaking the law?"_

"And breaking and entering isn't?"

_"Point taken."_

"No, what I mean is: it's only illegal if we get caught."

_"He's coming to, I'd better go."_

"You do that."

_"Tell Dawn Hi from me."_

"I will when I see her."

_"When you see her?"_

"I'm not with her."

_"Where is she?"_

"With my grandparents."

_"What, why?"_

"I'm out to dinner with a friend."

_"A date on Christmas!"_

"Not a date, unless…"

_"Unless what?" _Angel asked, his voice raising.

"Hold on let me check. Hey, Chuck, is this a date?"

"Chuck!" Both men yelled at the same time.

"I'm just asking: is this a date?"

"You know it's not." Gunn said, confused about the whole conversation, especially the 'Chuck' comment.

_"Is that Gunn?"_

"Yeah." Buffy nodded, laughing.

_"You're on a date with Charles Gunn the rouge demon hunter?"_

"Charles Gunn, black, 6 foot or so." Gunn's face contorted with fear.

_"You're on a date with him?"_

"No, I'm just messing with you."

_"Not funny, Buffy. I'm hanging up now."_

"Bye."

_"Talk to you later."_

"Who was that?"

"Before I tell you, there is something else you should know."

"Anne, what's the matter?"

"I'm not Anne, and the reason you haven't seen me in years is because I haven't been in LA in years. I'm not who you think I am."

"What are you talking about?"

"Your boss, Angel, I know him. I more than know him; I'm her, his girl."

"Buffy, you're Buffy."

"That's me." A small bitter smile slid onto her face.

"How?"

"All those years ago, I sent Angel to Hell. It was brutal. The months before I stabbed that sworn in his gut were horrible. Torture, pain, loss but nothing was worse than that moment when I shoved a sword in him. He got his soul, the one I released, back but it was too late. Angelus had woken up this demon that would suck the world into Hell, and I had to close it but the only way to do that was to kill the person I loved more than life itself. Acathala sucked my world into Hell when Angel, soul and all, went into the portal."

"What does this have to do with anything?"

"After he was gone, I didn't have a reason to stay in Sunnydale. My friends wouldn't understand what it meant to have everything taken away." She continued, ignoring Gunn's comment. "So I left and came here. Buffy died with Angel; I became Anne. For three months I was Anne then stuff happened. Lily became Anne and I was forced to be Buffy again. Buffy couldn't stay in LA, so I went back to Sunnydale. It was hard going back; constant fights and no Angel. You helped me get through Angel being in Hell more than anyone else did."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"I needed time by myself, but at the same time I needed someone to be there. You listened, you delt with my breakdowns, by you never pushed me to tell you what happened. You didn't ask how a girl could slay demons, you just let me be me. For that I was thankful, you helped me by not pushing."

"So what does this mean?"

"Well, after I went back to Sunnydale Angel got out of the Hell dimension. Things weren't good between us, but we were both alive and together. To us that was all that mattered. Then things got worse, Angel decided to move to LA. Years went by, our relationship straining more and more everyday."

"How does this fit in to now?"

"Army guy, Riley, I dated him. I don't know why he's here; I knew he was coming, but I didn't think that he would go see Angel. I need you to keep Riley away from the rest of the gang. When I figure things out, I'll call you and Angel. I have to go, I left my Grandparents with Faith. Can you tell Angel that Faith and I will figure it out quickly?"

"Yeah, I'll let him know. Merry Christmas,… Buffy."

"Merry Christmas, Gunn. I'm really sorry for not telling you sooner." Buffy said, walking away from the small table.

Now she had to deal with Riley!

* * *

AN- i hope you enjoy, and the happily ever after has some time yet. please let me know wheter you like it or not. See you soon!


	20. Stupid Fights

Gunn sat in the dinner, completely shocked. He'd known that she had a secret, a big one, but he didn't think that it was this big. She knew Angel; no she was her, Buffy. Buffy: Angel's girl, the runaway, the girl that those people were looking for. She was hiding from them, and she trusted him with her secret. What was he suppose to do now? Should he tell Angel? Well he probably knew, and Anne, no Buffy, told him to tell Angel that she would think of a solution for Army guy. This was bad, he was gonna get cought. Damn! How did he get himself into these situations?

* * *

She knew Gunn; Gunn knew her. This was crazy! How long had they known each other? Was _he _the reason she came here? All this time he thought she'd come here to him but it was really to see Gunn!

The door opened, he could here squeaky shoes. Listening harder, he could hear a fast heartbeat, someone was nervous. The squeaky heartbeat was trying to sneak past his office; it was Gunn. An evil grin, one that would make Angelus proud and Buffy nervous, slid into place. He walked into the main lobby, and waited until Gunn was almost to the stairs.

"Hey, Gunn, can I have a moment?" He was happy when he saw Gunn shrink a little.

"Yeah, sure what's up?" Gunn said, trying to conceal his nerves.

"In the office, it's private."

Gunn entered slowly, hesitantly. Whatever Angel had planned it couldn't be good. Angel waved at a chair in front of his desk, Gunn sat hoping appeasement would let him live longer. Angel paced behind Gunn listening to Gunn's tell-tale heart.

"How long have you known her?" Angel asked so calmly that one would think he was asking about a stranger and not his girl.

"I've known Anne for years, but I just met _her_ tonight, I swear." Angel's calmness was creeping him out. "She came here a few years back. I made the mistake of trying to help her in a fight, she almost broke my arm. She hung out with the gang, helped us all she could. Let us stay at her place when she could; gave us money to get food, told the gang if she found out that they were doing drugs on her money they wouldn't have hands to do drugs with. She cared, gave us hope; helped us when no one else would. She was the embodiment of the world that hated us, but she helped us. She was my best friend. She didn't talk much about her past, but she did mention this guy. Told me she loved him more than the whole damn world, broke down into tears in my arms. She taught me that being strong wasn't about being emotionless; instead it was about loving and having a purpose. She told me she lost that purpose when she lost that guy. I thought she was crazy: no one was that important; that opinion changed when I met her."

"Now you're justifying your actions?" Angel asked.

"No, I'm explaining to the stupid in our presence that she loved that guy. I knew it the second she broke down in my arms, I watched the strongest person I know cry over a guy. In that second I knew I wouldn't have a chance with her, if I wanted one. That guy was her world. Do you know who that guy was?"

"Scott?"

"No, moron, you." Gunn was feeling much more confident in himself. "She loves you and no one else." Gunn left the office, but called after him, "She said she and Faith would figure it out."

* * *

Xander and Willow stood in front of the monument that Willow had seen earlier.

"When did you see this?"

"Xander, I already told you. The other day."

"It seems like something I've seen before."

"Where have we seen this before?"

"I can't place it." Xander said, but before he could say anymore he heard a noise. "We should go, Will, we can talk about it at the hotel."

"Yeah, you're probably right." She said, also looking for the source of the niose.

* * *

After his "talk" with Gunn, Angel decided go see someone else. He was glad when Cordelia hadn't put herself or, now with their guests, anyone else on the same floor with him. He'd picked this floor because of it's seclusion, the wall papering and carpets were worse here than anywhere else. This seclusion was also good for having hostages over.

His coldness radiated off him in waves. Things had changed in a few short hours, Buffy had changed in a few short hours. By the time he had reached the door, he was angry, but not just angry. No by the time he got to the door, he was Angelus angry; he was almost vengeful. He pushed open the old door. A smirk of approval was the only emotion of his face. "My friend, how are you?" Angel asked, leaning against the door frame.

Riley's muffled response invited a chucke. "I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you." Angel said, pushing the door closed, standing to his full height. Again Riley mumbled something, his words lost in the gag.

"Maybe you could talk a little clearer, I'm old you know." Angel said, walking in circles around Riley. "I just came to tell you something. We've got no chance with her. She's over us." Angel stormed out, not feeling any better after sharing the news. He was beyond pissed.

* * *

Walking back to her grandparents' house, Buffy debated going to see Angel. Should she explain her relationship with Gunn? Explain! She had nothing to explain, she and Gunn were friends, good friends. Why should she have to explain that to Angel of all people? But another part of her felt like something was wrong with Angel. Maybe she should explain, if only to set his mind at easy? It wasn't like he was gonna go crazy over it right, so why explain? No, she would want an explanation. She should explain. Changing direction, she headed for the hotel.

Wiggling the window open, Buffy slid into the office. She looked around; something was wrong, there were papers on the floor like everything in the room had been shaken loose of their hiding places. Several old books lay open on the floor, their pages folded under their own weight. She gently scooped them up, replacing them in the shelves. She was picking the papers up off the floor when the door opened. She glanced up after a moments hesitation. "Angel."

"Is it Buffy or Anne?"

"Excuse me?" Buffy asked, closing and locking his office door.

"How long have you been screwing Gunn? Since after you shoved a sword in my gut?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'll slow my speech down, I forgot you're too stupid to understand at a regular pace. How. Long. Have. You. Been. Sleeping. With. Gunn?"

"Not that it's any of your business, Mr. I-want-a-normal-life-for-you, but I have never slept with Gunn, and have no idea where you would get such an idea!" This was not why she came here; she didn't want to fight with him. "As for being stupid, you of all people should know me better than that."

"Come on, Buff, who are you trying to bullshit? Me?" Angel walked around the office, behind his desk. "You come to pick up your toy soldier?"

"No, Angelus, I came to talk to the man I love but he's not here. Could you tell him, when he gets his head out of his ass that I'm looking for him? Thanks."

"What are you talking about? I'm not Angelus."

"Damn, it was a better performance than Senior Year's." She pushed past him, not able to deal with him anymore. What a way to end Christmas Eve!

"Don't forget your crap." He told her; throwing her the CD she had forgotten there a while ago. She'd barley caught it before it cut into her.

"Go to Hell." She screamed, jumping out the window.

"I was already there. Remember; you brought me the ticket." He yelled out after her. He watched her run away angry. Then she turned the corner, and he tried to push the worry that this would be the last time he would see her. Slamming the window closed, he knew he had to get out of the room. He tried to rip the door open, but almost tore the door off its hinges because it was still locked. Having to take the time to unlock the door was making him angrier; all the while guilt was eating at him for the way he'd talked to Buffy.

* * *

Angel was against her. Gunn probably hated her. She and Faith had to find someway to deal with Riley. Giles knew her grandparents. She still couldn't find Mystery Watcher and Slayer. She was screwed. The only thing she could do was to keep Dawn with her. Dawn wouldn't be going back to the hotel anytime soon. Buffy saw the house in front of her, and ran at full speed, she had to get home where she was safe.

Sneaking into the Library, she curled into one of the chairs. She thought she'd be okay, she hadn't broken down yet. For several hours she just sat, oblivious to the world. Then the sun rose. It was Christmas and she and her Angel were fighting. Memories of their day in the sun weren't helping. She broke. The small strand of control that kept her form crying snapped. Tears ran down her face, she couldn't breathe. Her air was gone. She heard a knock on the door. Dawn stuck her head in, "We're gonna open presents, come on."

"I'll be there in a minute." Buffy answered her, trying to keep the tears out of her voice. It worked, Dawn left a few seconds later, never realizing what had happened that night.

* * *

A.N.- It is hard to believe it has been over a year. Thanks to all those who kept with me, can't wait to hear what you think about this chapter.


	21. First Steps

"Faith, after this we have to talk."

"Why can't we talk now?"

"It's business."

"So?"

"Dawn doesn't know that they're Watchers." Buffy whispered to Faith, so Dawn didn't hear her.

"Okay, after this."

"Thanks." Buffy said to both Faith and Dawn who was handing her a present.

* * *

Gunn walked down the stairs, into the lobby.

"Gunn may I speak with you?" Angel asked. He'd been thinking over his actions from last night, he knew he was over reacting, even when he was doing it. He didn't want to lose Buffy and Gunn over his response to their knowing each other. He knew now that he should be thankful to Gunn, he had obviously helped Buffy deal with something her friends never would have. He also knew that the best way to rebuild bridges with Buffy was to rebuild bridges with Gunn.

"Go to Hell, I think we covered everything last night." Gunn said, never missing a step. He didn't want to deal with Angel's jealousy crap. "I'm going out."

Angel grabbed Gunn, his arm pressing on Gunn's neck. "Two minutes."

"Fine, two minutes." Gunn said, as Angel released him.

The two walked into Angel's office, leaving the rest of the people in the lobby to stare at them, wondering what had happened.

"That was entertaining." Cordelia muttered.

* * *

"So, what's up, B?"

"Riley's at Angel's."

"Army boy?"

"Yeah, we have to get him out of there."

"Why?"

"You can go tonight; if the gang finds him we're screwed."

"Why?"

"All of them working together not good, we have to prevent that. Besides, he works for the government and you broke out of prison."

"Fine, I'll go, but I still don't get why it's a big deal."

"Thank you, I'll have everything set up for you."

"Sure, whatever."

* * *

"What do you want? You think I'm gonna stand here and take more of your crap, I'm not."

"I'm sorry; the attitude I used with you was uncalled for. I love her; I don't think things through when it comes to her. When I heard you two were out, I got mad…"

"I don't want your explanation. I'm letting this go, I'm still angry, but I would do anything to make her happy. She loves you, you make her happy…" Gunn's phone rang. Holding his finger to tell Angel to wait, Gunn flipped open the phone. "Hey what's up?"

_"Are you at Angel's?"_

"Yeah, you want to talk to him?"

_"No, is Spike around?"_

"I think so, why?"

_"I need to talk to him. Could you put him on the phone?"_

"Sure. Let me get him." Gunn covered the phone, and said to Angel, "Can you get Spike for me?"

"Why?"

"She wants to talk to him." Gunn said, holding out the phone slightly.

"Fine." Angel opened the office door and called Spike in. After Spike was in the room, Angel told him, "Telephone's for you."

"What?" Spike asked as Gunn handed him the phone.

_"Say my name and you'll be dust so fast you won't know it until it's too late."_

"What's up?"

_"Riley's there and I need you to help Faith get him out."_

"He's not here."

_"Angel has him hidden in some room there."_

"Why not have the Poof help you with this."

_"Questions like that land you on the sharp point of a wooden stick, got it?"_

"Sore subject, I see."

_"Drop it. Will you help me?"_

"Yeah, oh something important before you hang up."

_"What?"_

"Angel sold Dawn on an inter-dimensional black market slavery ring."

_"No, he didn't. I arranged a drop, and he brought her to the coffee shop where I picked her up."_

"Oh. Tell Faith, I'll see her at nine."

_"Thanks, Spike, now give the phone back to Gunn."_

Spike handed the phone to Gunn, then turned and punched Angel in the face. "You could have told me Dawn was okay." Then he stormed out of the office. Everyone heard him muttering about how much he hated Angel.

* * *

At eight forty-five, Buffy and Faith making last minute preparations. They were in Buffy, they couldn't let Dawn or Buffy's grandparents hear their planning.

"Faith, I don't know where keep him. Any ideas?"

"I say we just beat him up and let him back out into the world again."

"That's helpful. We have to keep him somewhere."

"Hey, Buffy, not tp interrupt, but you know there is that room in the basement, right?" Dawn said from the door way.

"Dawn! How long have you been standing there?" Buffy said, whipping her head around, to face the door.

"Long enough. I think you should keep him in that room, it's perfect for a hostage. No one goes down there."

"You shouldn't eavesdrop."

"Maybe next time I won't; okay?"

"I guess."

"Faith, you go get Riley, and I'll get the basement ready. Dawn you be ready to help Faith get Riley to that room." Buffy said, as she left the room.

"I think Leader Buffy is back." Faith said. Dawn nodded in response, as she and Faith went to do their tasks.

Faith's walk to Angel's was very quiet, no vampires and no people. She poked around the building and found Angel's office. Slipping in the window she was surprised to see Cordelia putting some papers away.

"Please don't yell that I'm here." Faith said making her turn around. "I promise I'm not here to hurt you; I'm the delivery Slayer here to pick up Riley."

Cordelia eyed Faith suspiciously then turned away. Faith thought she was busted when Cordelia opened her mouth, but was shocked when she just called for Angel. Cordelia noticed that as soon as Angel entered the room got colder.

"I'm here to pick up Riley." Faith said, she knew something was up between Buffy and Angel. Buffy was good at putting up the façade, but Faith knew how to see through it because she had her own.

"Right there." Angel said, pointing to the chair in the corner.

"That's all I needed." Faith said hoisting Riley up around her shoulders. She slipped out the window very much like a cat, and was gone in a flash.

Dawn had the door open for Faith, and moved to direct her to the basement as soon as Faith was in the house. Buffy was ready downstairs. She met them at the base of the stairs, and helped Faith tie him to the preset up chair. Dawn was the last one out of the room, and she locked the door, keeping the key with her.

* * *

A.N.- This is the first of a few part segment. I broke it up to keep it from getting too long and also because I felt that some things should be dealt with seperatly. Let me know what you think.


	22. Letting Go

Chapter 22 

"Things are getting worse. I know I told you three days, but as soon as it becomes tomorrow, there, I'm taking control. You're way hasn't worked, and it shows no sign of working."

"You gave me three days!" The young girl who had been watching every action of the Slayer and her friends and family, said.

"I'm taking them away." Her superior, Elias, said.

"There is no reason to rush this!"

"Things have worsened with the vampires, and the Slayer and the Souled Vampire are fighting. I have reason to take this back. We're done here."

"You can't do this!" The girl yelled to Elias' retreating form.

* * *

A few hours before dawn, Buffy slipped down to the basement. Opening the door to the smaller room, Buffy noticed Riley was already awake. 

"Sorry about the ropes." Buffy said pulling the door closed.

"It's a step up, at least there's no gag."

"You can't tell anyone I'm here. The gang hasn't found me and I'd like to keep it like that."

"Is there a reason you're here?"

"Several good ones and a few bad ones." She told him with a shrug.

"Why didn't you leave Sunnydale protected?"

"I did, but the protectors left."

"Why come here? Is it because of Angel?"

"Not everything revolves around him. I needed a big city, other people and places; family, my grandparents are here; and the familiarity of LA was what I needed."

"Angel didn't factor in at all?"

"He was a perk, I guess."

"You gonna let me out of here?" Riley asked.

"You gonna go back to Sunnydale?"

"I won't tell them, if you let me out."

"Fine, if you tell them I'm sure you know I'll hunt you down and hurt you."  
"I got it, but I'm sticking around LA for a while."

"Don't talk to any of them." Buffy said, untying the ropes around his wrists. "Leave before Dawn or Faith get up."

Buffy stood, and left the basement. When she reached the top of the stairs, she let out a deep breath.

"So you're letting him go?"

"Yeah, Faith, I am."

They could just see the sun rising.

Buffy fell the ground, apparently seizing. Faith dropped down next to her, to try to stop her from hitting her head.

"Help! Somebody, help!" Faith yelled, as Riley came up the stairs. Faith could also hear the hurried steps of Buffy's family coming to the rescue.

"Miss Buffy!" Maggie, who was in the lead, gasped. Dawn and her grandparents rushed to her side.

* * *

"There was something almost Buffyish about that grave." 

"Yeah," Willow agreed, not really paying attention. She was poking around in Dawn's room.

"What are you doing?" Xander asked standing from the couch.

"Have you seen Dawn lately? Any time after the coffee with Angel?"

"No." Xander said, not really sure where she was going with this, then it clicked. "That bastard, I'll kill him for this!"

"Xander, come back, that is not what I meant!" Willow yelled, but it was too late Xander was already down the stairs chasing Angel. Xander's fingers dug into Angel's shoulder as Xander turned him around.

"What the hell!" Angel yelled.

Just as Angel turned, Xander fell to the ground. "Why is he flopping like a fish?" Angel asked, slightly concerned.

* * *

A.N. Hi! Hope you like. Next part coming soon. Let me know what you think! 


	23. Forgive & Forget? What about phones?

Chapter 23 

"Get off me!" Xander yelled, pushing the crowd that had gathered around him.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" An elderly lady asked, still not moving from his side.

"Get away from me!" He yelled again.

"Buffy what's wrong with you?" Dawn asked him.

Faith's eyes widened, she knew that this wasn't Buffy. She clasped her hand over "Buffy's" mouth. "I don't think Buffy is feeling too well, I'll take her upstairs, let her rest." Faith pulled him up, her hand tight enough around his arm to leave a bruise.

Once they were in Buffy's room, Faith closed the door. Still facing away from him, she asked, "I know you're not Buffy, so who are you?"

"Like I'm gonna answer a psycho-killer."

"Not a demon, they tremble in fear just a little more; not a complete stranger, you know my past; so you're either Willow or Xander. My guess is Xander, Willow is a little shyer."

"Good guess. I see you and Angel kidnapped Dawn."

"Actually, Dawn is staying with her family. You don't speak to anyone, and you don't leave this house."

"You can't tell…" Xander stopped, grabbing his head.

"What now?" Faith asked.

"I'm not sure, I felt like I was in a vacuum cleaner. I think I'm rememerbering Buffy's memories."

"I'll look into switching you two back." Faith said, leaving the room.

* * *

She stood, seeing Angel her instinct to reach out to him overrode her anger. He turned, and punched her in the face. She punched him in return, and was shocked when he didn't stumble a little.

"Not enough to call me names, but now you have to try to beat me up, too?"

"I haven't called you any names!"  
"Fair, I guess, but implying I'm a slut, not good for a relationship."

"I never implied you were a slut!" Angel said a disgusted look on his face. "That is not a topic I would ever discuss with you."

"Asking me if I slept with Gunn isn't implying that I'm a slut! Then what would you classify the implication as?"

"Angel! Xander! Enough!" Willow yelled, but neither really heard her both to wrapped up in the argument.

"I wasn't aware you knew Gunn."  
"You come into that office," Buffy told him pointing toward his office, "and asked me who I was and 'how long I'd been screwing Gunn, since the day I killed you."

"You've never killed me."

"I shoved a sword into you're gut, and sent you to Hell."  
"That wasn't you."

"Then who was it?"

"Buffy."

"Who do you think I am? Xander?"

"As a matter of fact, I do, Xander."

"I'm not…" For the first time Buffy realized her voice was deeper than it should have been. "I'm Xander?" She turned and ran for Angel's office. Getting to it before he did, she threw open the door. Opening his desk, she found a gold letter opener. Playing with the angle, she saw Xander looking back at her. Her throat tightened and tears welled in her eyes. "I'm Xander!" She whispered.

"This is my office."

"Surprised I knew right were to find what I was looking for?"

"Get out!"

"Maybe I should recite some letters. I'm not Xander, why can't you see that!"

"You're crazy!"

"Have you eaten the chocolate pig I sent you? Maybe you didn't get the note that said I still remembered? I am not Xander; I am Buffy Anne Summers!" She said slamming her hands on the desk; the tears were running down her face now. "My mother, Joyce, died of a brain tumor. You came the night of her funeral, and I told you how guilty I felt that I hadn't walked in a minute earlier! I never told them that the doctors used the word _probably _when they said it wouldn't have made a difference if I was there or not. I hid the fact that my sister was a ball of energy for weeks from my friends, then I hid the fact that I had been in Heaven after they brought me back! I'm not Xander!" She couldn't take it; not this, not now. She couldn't be here with Willow and Angel, things were too tense. Was Xander with Dawn and Faith? Would he try to force Dawn back to the hotel, and turn Faith in?

"Tell me something only Buffy would know."

"Something more than everything I just told you? Fine, I felt like I was drowning and you were the only air I had left; that's changed I drowned, you stopped caring." How could he not know it was her? She had always thought Angel would recognize her, even if some kind of body switching had happened.

"Xander, what's wrong with you?" Willow asked her, finally following to the office.

"That's not Xander, that's Buffy." Angel whispered, more to himself than to Willow.

"For the first time ever, you failed me. You failed me last night, Angel. I was never ashamed to be associated with you, not even when you were Angelus, at least then it wasn't you, but last night _you_ ripped my heart apart. Now you can't even recognize me, you need facts. You are the love of my life, even when I can't stand you, and I always know who you are." She told him, seemingly blind to Willow and the rest of the gang that gathered around his office door.

"Xander loves Angel?" Cordelia asked, looking around to see if anyone else thought it was weird.

Buffy walked around his desk, and stood in front of him. "You gave up on me, and I forgive you." Then she walked out. As she passed Gunn, he grabbed her arm and stared into her eyes. Even though they were eyes he had never looked into, he could see her; hurt and love buried to prevent tears, fights, and heartache. Nodding his head to her, he released her. He didn't know how she would deal with these people, but he would try to help her.

"You can stay with me, if you want." Gunn told her, knowing her answer already.

"Thank you," She whispered, and left.

"Coffee?" He yelled out to her, as she neared the doors.

"Later, I have to visit some people."

"Alone?"

"Right now I'm not sure who's me. I have to do this alone." Buffy said opening the door. Before she could step out, Faith rushed in.

"Buffy, what happened?" Faith asked 'Xander.'

"That is Xander, not Buffy." Willow said looking between Angel and Faith. "Xander tell them who you are!"

"Faith, how are they?" Buffy said ignoring Willow completely.

"I said you were sick, rushed you up to your room. They don't know what is wrong, I'm trying to keep them apart."

"They, especially he, isn't fond of you, but I need you to keep an eye out for them. My phone is in my bookcase on the top shelf."

"What about…"

"No, Dawn can't know what happened exactly. I want you to keep it from her as long as possible."

"She's gonna know, her sister isn't acting like herself, especially around them. You two have your roles very well carved out, if you act estranged in any way, it is gonna be suspicious."

"Tell her I'm possessed or something, but I need my phone."

"Why?"

"Please, just get that phone, keep it away from me, Xander, you know what I mean."

"Why the phone?"

"They aren't the only ones with contacts in that place, I have to figure out what is going on. To do that I need my phone."

"What should I tell them?"

"Nothing, I'll tell them myself, eventually. They don't need this now, they already gave up so much for me because of who I am. I'm not going to force them to deal with this."

"Buffy…"

"Faith the phone, and stick to Xander like glue. Thank you."

Faith nodded her head. Somewhere along the way she learned that this Buffy, Leader Buffy, couldn't be talked out of her decisions. This was the Buffy that put her in a coma, hunted her down in LA, and who had forgiven her for everything.

"I'll be back in a couple minutes." Faith said walking out the door.

"I need your phone, your office, and that number I gave you." Buffy said to Angel.

"Why?"

"Because I do."

"Don't use an attitude."

"Are you kidding me? You are going to tell me how to behave too?"

"I thought that was all forgotten?"

"Forgiven, I'm still angry with you. I need that number and a little privacy, please."

"Fine." Angel said, trying to make things up to her. Leading her into the office, she stood in the doorway until he had the paper with the number laid on the desk.

"Thanks." She told him sitting down at the phone, waiting for him to leave. Onne he was gone she dialed the number on the paper. Waiting for someone to pick up on the other end, she wondered how this had happened.

"Hello?" A voice on the other end said pulling her from her thoughts.

"Jerry, this is Buffy Summers."

* * *

AN-- I hope that everyone likes this chapter. I'd love to hear what you think. See you again soon!!!


	24. Of Heart Problems and Office Drama

_**Chapter 24**_

"Jerry this is Buffy Summers." Buffy said trying to make her voice higher.

"Are you okay?"

"I have a sore throat, but I'll live. How about you?"

"I'm well, thank you. What can I do for you?"

"I need some help with the Grandparents."

"Victor and Lillian, are they okay?" Jerry said, standing and carrying the phone as he paced his office.

"I was hoping that maybe you could send them to England for a while."

"What? Why?"

"They have been stressed out lately, and I worry about Grandpa's heart." Buffy said, hoping that Jerry wouldn't ask too many questions about the "heart trouble."

"I didn't realize he was having trouble again."

"An ounce of prevention; I don't want them to be spending their time in a hospital again. The compound in England is so much nicer than a hospital." Buffy's tone told Jerry she didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"I'll let them know that there is an emergency meeting for the department heads."

"You won't tell them I suggested this, will you?"

"No, I won't."

"Thank you, Jerry."

"You're welcome, Elizabeth."

With a sigh, Buffy hung up the phone. That was one problem out of the way. Now how to get them to leave Dawn with Faith?

"Look, I'm only here to give this to B."

"You are a psycho-killer, and Buffy isn't here."

"Willow, relax." Buffy could hear Angel trying to mediate the fight. "Check the office, Faith."

"Thanks." Buffy could practically hear Faith brush past Willow.

"Hey, look, it's B. I got the all important cell phone, anything else?"

"Yeah. You have to make a call for me." Buffy said looking up at Faith. Faith's smug look turned to disbelief as Buffy handed her back the phone.

"Buffy?" Lillian said knocking on her granddaughter's door. "Buffy can I come in?"

"I guess."

"Sweetie, is something wrong?" Lillian said, her head poking around the door.

"I'm super!" Xander said his voice dripping in sarcasm.

"Buffy, your grandfather and I are going to the compound for a little while." Lillian said, either ignoring or not noticing the sarcasm.

"The compound?"

"The Watchers' compound in England."

"Watchers? What are you talking about? What's a Watcher?"

"Funny, sweetie; we'll be gone for a week or so I think."

"Okay. I'll see you later then."

"Will you and Dawn be okay? Do you want me to call someone to stay with you?"

"No I think we'll be okay!"

"Okay then. I love you." Lillian said wrapping her arms around Xander.

"Who?"

"My cousin…who happens to be a watcher."

"What is it with your family? Are they all watchers?"

"Not my aunt." Buffy said with a shrug. "Please, call him."

"Why can't you."

"You'll know when he gets here, and yes I do know he will come."

"Fine, I'll call him."

"Thank you."

"You think I'm trying to cheat! I'm offended. I graduated the same school you did. Watchers don't cheat at poker." One man said, holding up his hands defensively. "Maybe Black Jack, but not poker."

"If you don't cheat, how do you explain the extra card?" Tabby said holding up the queen of hearts that slipped out of his shirt sleeve.

"A symbol of my…" The young man was cut off by a ringing phone. The whole table sighed; this meant Greg would get a way with cheating, again. "It is your house, Tabby, you should answer the phone."

"Hello?" Tabitha said, rolling her eyes.

"Hi, I'm looking for a man named Greg. Is he there?" The voice said over the phone.

"Hold on one minute I think he was just headed out, let me see if I can catch him. May I ask who is calling?"

"You can tell him it's about Lizzy."

"Okay, hold on." Tabby covered the phone with her had, wondering what Greg had gotten into now. "There's a lady on the phone for you, Greg, she says it's about Lizzy. Are you here or not?"

"Lizzy!" Greg said bolting for the phone, knocking over a chair in the process. "Hello? This is Greg, what's wrong with Lizzy?"

The rest of the table watched intrigued by this mystery Lizzy. Greg had never been one for close relationships. The group couldn't even remember the last time they had heard him talk about his family. Now there is this Lizzy girl he rushes to make sure is all right? Weird.

"Okay, I'll be right there." Greg said hanging up the phone. "Guys, I have to leave. I was cheating, spilt my chips however you want I won't be back."

"Is there anything we can do to help?"

"Not right now, Tabby." He said the door swinging shut after him.

A little while later, Greg was across the street from a huge hotel. Lizzy was here at the Hyperion, and she needed him.

* * *

AN- Sorry for the huge delay, I've just been so busy. So I hope you all enjoy this chapter, I'll try to get the next one up sooner. Sorry!!!! 


	25. Running and Fighting

Chapter 25 

"Hey, Dawn?"

"Yeah, Buffy, what's up?"

"I'm headed out, you want to come with me?"  
"Sure." Dawn said, grabbing a denim jacket. She asked as they walked out of the house without saying goodbye to anyone. "What about Grandma and Grandpa?"

"What about them?" Xander asked Dawn.

"Buffy it's not like you to leave without saying goodbye."

"Dawn, I don't need you questioning everything I do, okay?"

"Whatever; where are we going anyway?"

"Angel's."

"I thought you guys were fighting."

"Dawn, stop questioning me!"

"Fine." Dawn replied making a point to snap her mouth shut and close her lips tightly.

"Dawn, stop acting like you're three." However, Xander's plea fell on deaf ears.

While they walked in silence, Dawn kept glancing toward her sister. Every few steps, Dawn would open her mouth to ask something, but then closed her mouth and turned away. Finally when they were only yards from the hotel, Dawn couldn't stop herself. "What is wrong with you? You've been really weird since the other night when you snuck off to see Angel."

"Dawn, I don't know what you're talking about." Xander replied, not noticing the new addition to their party. "I never went to see Angel."

"I heard you and Faith talking the other night, remember. That wasn't the first time I eavesdropped on you two. I wish you would tell me why you and Angel are fighting, I don't need to be protected from you two, you know."

"Maybe you don't need protecting from them, but what about me?" Asked their mystery companion.

Dawn and Xander turned to see who was following them. When Xander saw it was a vampire, years of fighting them went out the window, and he ran for the hotel, Dawn chasing after him.

"Why are we running?"

"Do you want to get eaten?"

"Buffy, what's the matter with you? You can't fight one vampire!"

"Dawn stop questioning me!"

"But it's one vampire!"

"And we're already at the hotel." Xander said, pushing Dawn into the hotel lobby.

"You can face a hell god, but a vampire scares you?" Dawn asked catching her breath, leaning against the door.

But before Xander could catch his breath and respond, the office door opened revealing Faith and Buffy(as Xander). Buffy ran to her sister's side, and hugged her tightly. Then Buffy held her at arms length, checking her for any kind of injury. "Dawnie are you okay? How has your day been? I… Xan… how was you stay at your grandparents?"

"God, Xander, you're clingy, get off of me! Would somebody get him off of me?" Dawn yelled, as Buffy let go of Dawn, looking hurt.

"Dawn, why don't you go wait in the office." Faith said, looking every bit like a Slayer in charge of a battle.

"Who died and made you boss?"

"A crass person might say your sister, but I'd rather you just go in there and let us explain when we know what's going on, okay?" The rest of the people in the hotel were by now wondering into the lobby, to see what was going on.

"Buffy, do I have you?" Dawn said turning to Xander.

"We'll be in a minute." Xander, said nodding his head.

"Fine, I'll be in the office." Silence reigned until the office door closed. Then Buffy(Xander's body)looked to Angel. "Would you watch her? She tends to snoop."

"Sure." Angel said, slipping into the office.

"So long time no see, Xander." Buffy said, her voice deeper than it should have been, but like ice.

"Wasn't my choice, now was it Buffy." Xander said, taking a step closer to Buffy.

Inside the office, Dawn looked at Angel, "What's going on out there?"

"I'm sure someone will explain it to everyone else as soon as they figure it out."

_"Xander, I'm not going to apologize for leaving!"_ Buffy's deep voice carried into the office.

Stepping around Angel, as if being closer to the door would give her more answers, Dawn listened at the door. "Why is Xander talking to himself in the third person about something Buffy did?" Dawn muttered, stepping away from the door, toward the desk chair. She sat at the desk, turning the chair every now and then, absent mindedly as she thought. "Buffy doesn't say goodbye to the Grandparents, she runs from a vampire, and now…"

_"Damn it Buffy, I will not be yelled at like I'm a little kid! Willow and I did what we had to after you threw yourself off that tower. You may think you took the way of the hero, but you left us to make sure the world didn't end while you were dead."_

"…and now Buffy and Xander are having third person arguments about what the other person did. This day is just getting weirder."

_"I didn't jump to save the world; I jumped to save my family, my sister!"_

_"What good did it do you, huh? Instead of you being left without a family, you left Dawn without a family."_

_"Dawn would have grieved and moved past it, she would have settled down and had a family of her own. She could have had a life! I would have lost the only chance I had at having a family. I don't expect to ever get married or have kids, but Dawn will."_

"Angel, what is going on? I don't get it, it's like they switched bodies or someth…" She said popping up from the chair. "They switched bodies! Buffy is Xander and Xander is Buffy! That explains everything, oh my God, they switched bodies!" Dawn said rushing for the door. Angel blocked her path, sidestepping in front of the door.

"Dawn, I don't think now is the best time."

"Now is the perfect time. The only reason I'm stuck in here is because they think I don't know, but now I do so I can go back out there." Dawn said, worming her way past Angel.

"You both switched bodies. So now you're Xander," Dawn said pointing to Buffy's body, "and you're Buffy," indicating Xander's body.

"You told her!" Buffy said turning on Angel.

"She figured it out on her own! She's smart, I didn't say anything."

"Maybe she gets her brains from your Watcher grandparents."

Buffy (in Xander's body) turned sharply back to her own body with a look that could kill. "You will do anything to hurt someone won't you?"

"I thought you might have told her, that your secret is more of a family secret."

"Wait a minute, I'm confused!" Cordelia piped up.

"Well that makes two of us. Care to explain, Lizzy?


	26. Freaky Friday With Evil Twins

Chapter 26 Chapter 26

"That makes two of us care to explain, Lizzy?" Said a voice from the door way.

The group turned to see who this new invader was, and what he wanted. When Buffy saw who it was she slowly backed away heading for the office. Making sure Faith saw, she closed the door and waited.

The man in the doorway stepped toward Xander( in Buffy's body) saying, "Lizzy, you okay?"

"Who are you?" Xander asked the man.

"I'm sorry I haven't called lately, okay, it's just been hectic. After classes finished, we got our assignments and I really don't like the medical department."

"Hi. Greg, right?" Faith said, stepping forward to try to move things into the office.

"Yes, do I know you?"

"No, I'm Faith, I was the one who called you. I think maybe we should finish our conversation in the office over…" Faith never got to finish her sentence, as a loud crash came from the office area. Taking off for the office, Faith wondered what happened to Buffy.

"Hey what's wrong?" Faith said, hoping that Buffy just tripped.

"Headache, almost a big boom." Buffy muttered hoping that Greg didn't hear them talking.

"A full sentence would help."

"Is something going on in here." Greg said, peaking his head in.

"Can you get Lizzy, there some things we need to talk about." Faith said, holding Buffy up.

"Yeah, hold on a second." He said, pulling out of the room. Taking Xander by the arm, he said, "Hey, they need us in the office."

"What happened to you?" Faith asked, keeping her voice down.

"It was weird; I saw myself running around the old high school with zombies. I was defusing a bomb, or something." Buffy whispered, rubbing her temples.

"Okay, so what do we have to talk about?" Greg said, stepping back into the office. "Why are you here?"

"I'm not me; while I'm me just not in my body." Buffy blurted out. "Gregory Mason, don't look at me like I'm insane. I am not insane!"

"Look, not saying your insane but, why should I believe you?"

"God, you are such a Watcher! What happened to 'I'll be different; I'll treat my Slayer like a real person, and not a weapon'? I would tell the grandparents but they don't know about the body snatching."

"Okay, so you're Lizzy," Greg said pointing to Xander's body, " so then who's you?"

"Xander is me, and I'm Xander. I was talking to someone, and then poof I'm getting punched in the face."

"Who punched you? Right, it's not the time. Well, who were you talking to?" Greg said stepping forward, "It's weird to look you face to face when talking."

"What a girl always wants to hear, they look weird. As for the talking, they wouldn't switch Xander and mine's bodies."

"And the grandparents don't know?" He is talking louder now.

"As far as they are concerned, I and Dawn can't wait for them to get back for the Compound."

"Why didn't you tell them?" He yells at her.

"I'm so glad you worry about his heart! You know if he had to do this again, have a Slayer's life in his hands, he would end up back in the hospital. If he died that way, she would go with him!" Her voice is getting louder, and more strained with each word.

"Lizzy, relax." Greg says, but Buffy ignores him.

"I just lost my mother, I won't lose them too!" She breaks down into tears when she finishes her sentence. "Do you understand I won't lose them? Help me; help me protect them, please."

"I won't tell them, but how long can the Council keep them without actual meetings? We have to switch you back soon."

"Do you have any idea how to do that?"

"The Watcher way, research."

"God, what have they done to my 'I hate Watchers' cousin?"

"I shouldn't tell you this, but they killed him and sent me his evil clone." He said, laughing, as he stepped out of the office.

"Don't laugh, evil twins are common around here." Buffy urged him. "On a completely different note, where did you get put?"

"Stupid medical department. They think I have a real talent for watching people heal."

"I'm sorry, but maybe you'll learn something importanat, like CPR." She offered.

"I already know CPR."

"Well, then I've got nothing." By this time they've drifted back into the lobby and can feel the others watching them.

"So we need to research, do you people have books or what?"

"I won't be taking orders from Xander and his little lackey." Spike yelled out, fishing for a cigarette.

"Just do the research, Mr. …"

"Name is Spike, no Mr. either."

"Spike, as in William the Bloody?"

"That would be me, yeah."

"So you'd be the Scourge of Europe, I suppose."

"We call him Angel, for short." Buffy said, slightly mockingly.

"Lizzy, surely you've heard about them. These are two of the worst vampires in history."

"Well Mr. Scourge has a soul, and Bloody over there has an 'I can't hurt people' chip."

"You know this how?"

"Don't they teach you current events in Wathcer school? I dated Angel, and Spike has been a pain in the ass for a while."

"Watcher school?" Giles stepped forward asking.

"Well, I guess introductions are in order. First, I'm Buffy not Xander. This is my cousin Greg who is a watcher."

"This boy is a watcher?" Wesley asked.

"He is." Buffy nodded.

"And you, Xander, know him how?" Giles asked stepping forward, cleaning his glasses.

"I am not Buffy! She is not me!" Xander said.

"I'm not sure what happened, exactly, but Xander and I swapped bodies." Buffy addressed the group. "I'd very much like to be myself again, last time wasn't fun."

"Okay, so going with that theory; what kind of switch: Faith provided magic tool thingy, or some other kind?" Willow asked, more than a little bitterly.

"Faith, relax." Buffy said, putting her arm out to restrain Faith. "Faith has nothing to do with this."

"Lizzy, question?" Greg said, turning to face her.

"Huh?"

"What if it's Freaky Friday style?"

"Freaky Friday?" Giles asked.

"Movie, mother and daughter switch bodies." Buffy supplied, thinking the idea through in her head. "Know anything other than a creepy old lady in a Chinese restaurant that can do that?"

"Not sure maybe the Gr…"

"NO, they don't need to know about this! We can figure it out ourselves. I'm a Slayer, and you're a watcher, we know what were doing."

"Lizzy, don't be unreasonable."

"I'm so good at it though." Buffy whined.

"I give up, you're as bad as when you were the last time we played Life."

"I didn't cheat, I can't help it if I got the cheap house and no kids."

"You had the hundred thousand dollar salary as a cop and the spinner was rigged to land on ten."

"It was not! Okay focusing, we can figure this out."

"Freaky Friday theory, what caused the change?"

"Movie they fight."

"That's not like us at all." Xander muttered.

"So someone wants us to mend our bridges?" Buffy said, rolling her eyes at Xander.

"Well, if the fate of the world rests in the hands of friends, you would want them to not fight." Greg said, looking at the group, trying to make them make understand. "I think that in order to change back to have to work this out."

"Magical therapy?"

"Super, this sounds like so much fun."

"So, what do we do?"

"Singing didn't work, what will work?" Buffy asked.

"How about talking?" Greg said sarcastically.

"Funny." Buffy said, not looking at all amused.

* * *

A.N. Soooooo Sooooo sorry! i thought i had posted this chapter eons ago!! Up side, i have the next two chapters already typed and ready to post... forgive me?


	27. How to Heal

Chapter 27 Chapter 27

"You know what you're problem is, Xander, you don't let go!"

"Maybe you let go too much!" Xander said, stepping toe-to-toe with Buffy.

"You've been angry over Angel from the first day you met him; you're still pissed that I left after you and Willow told me to kill him, how am I suppose to grieve if the two people who are going to help me through it wanted him dead; you hate me for saving my sister."

"I never said kill Angel!" Willow yelled, but was ignored.

"Your sister, she was a ball of energy that opens hell dimensions, that was added to our memories! Willow is more your sister than Dawn!"

"You lash out, Xander. You push people away because you're mad, because you don't know how to deal with others' emotions."

"You push people away for the hell of it."

"I push people away to save their lives! I've died twice; twice since becoming the Slayer!" Buffy said, her temper flaring. She glared at Xander with a look that would have sent any smart man running. Pulling her arm back slightly, highlighted her tension.

"Who knew my cousin's dirty laundry was so soap opera-ic?" Greg said, with a small chuckle as he slowly approached Buffy. "Lizzy, calm down."

"Greg, I'm fine, it's Xander who's going to need help."

"That's what I'm trying to stop. If you hit him, you'll never switch back."

"Don't use logic, I'm being mad and irrational."

"Aren't you always irrational, Buffy? I mean, do you even think before you act?" Xander sneered.

"I would think this was TV, if there was popcorn." Cordy said, trying to drag some of the others out of the room. "Angel, let them fight it out. Buffy is a big girl she can handle herself."

Angel sulked out of the room not saying anything else, taking Dawn with him. Fred and Gunn had already slipped away, and Angel could hear Cordelia pulling Wesley out of the room by his ear.

"You ran off to LA for like three months! Did you even think about how that would affect us!"

"That was over three YEARS ago! It's the same thing for you, though, isn't it? You think this has to do with Angel? It doesn't! It has to do with my being able to look at you two. Was grieving ever an option?" Buffy asked, now pacing the room.

"No, someone had to worry about the fate of the world!"

"The world existed for a long time before I was saving it! You never stopped to think about me! You decided to rip me away from Heaven, from my mother, to fight in this Hell! I'm interested, did you ever think about how this would affect me? No, you only though about how you didn't want to let me go!"

"We thought you were in Hell, Buffy. We thought we were saving you." Willow piped up, this time being acknowledged.

"You could've researched, found a way to realize I was happy. Did you ever think I would have found a way to tell you I stuck in Hell?"

"Angel didn't."

"He did, I knew."

"How? He tell you?" Xander said snidely.

"Yeah, he did. Also told me he forgave me and that he loved me." Buffy turned to look at him. "I want to forgive you, both of you, but I hurt. It hurts so much, and every time I look at you I see the people who pulled me out of Heaven, not my friends. That makes me feel worse, because I still love you guys, I really do." She turned away from them, unable to look at them any more. "I just need time; a little more time."

The three stood there, Greg gone with the rest of the group. Silence overwhelmed the room.

"Buffy?" A teary-eyed Willow asked, "I'm so sorry. Forgive me?"

"Forgiving you won't snap things back into place."

"I know, but I can't live with my best friend hating me."

"Wil, I forgive you, and I'm sorry too. I know you only thought you were doing what was best, and that you would never intentionally hurt me." Buffy made no move to hug Willow, but turned back to Xander. "I forgive you too. I want us to be what we were, but I'm not sure we can." Xander nodded his silent agreement, his own apology

Scars would come later, now the wounds had to scab, start to heal. Hugs and kisses would come later; apologies were enough for now. A bright light shot out of Buffy and Xander, knocking the wind out of them. It took a few moments for the two to be able to stand, but when they finally stood they looked each other in the eye, they were back in their own bodies. They both knew the friendship would come back in time. No more words were spoken, enough had been said; enough to be regretted in the morning. Buffy walked out of the hotel, healing would still take time.


	28. Fighting over Gifts

"What is going on out there?" Cordelia asked, her ear pressed to the door. "I can't hear anything?"

"Move, please." Greg said, trying to move out the door.

"Look I don't…"

"She's my cousin, if anything is wrong I have to know. Move!" Cordelia put her hands up stepping backwards. "Thank you, Cordelia."

"That was rude!" Cordelia muttered.

"Cordy, he's worried about her, we all are." Wesley said, looking over at the brooding Angel.

"Lizzy, where'd Xander go?" Greg said coming into the lobby.

"Buffy left a few minutes ago."

"Oh, did she say were she was headed?"

"She didn't say where, in fact she didn't say anything." Willow said.

"I'll go look for her."

"Greg, I… I'm sorry, if I'd know where she was I wouldn't have done this."

"I've nothing to forgive you. I would have done the same thing, if I'd known." Greg said walking out the door. "I would have done the same thing."

The streets were crowded, as she pushed through. She kept her head down. Pushing the door open, Buffy walked to a booth near the window. She sat looking out, missing the waitress' greeting at first.

"Ma'am, can I get you something." The young girl repeated.

"Coffee, coffee would be nice." Buffy told her, and the girl left.

"That there cemetery is always driving customers away." The girl said, returning with a cup of coffee. "Don't worry; nothing there can hurt you."

"I'm not sure about that." Buffy told the girl, "I like the view though. Puts life in focus doesn't it?"

"I guess."

"Mind if I join you?"

"Can I get you anything, sir?"

"No, thank you."

"I didn't think you'd come looking for me."

"Why?"

"The last time we spoke wasn't exactly our best conversation."

"You were stressed; worried about your problem and the body swap…"

"No, I mean before. When we talked about Dawn and Glory at Mom's funeral, I said a lot of things I probably shouldn't have. You were thinking like a Watcher, and I couldn't…can't. I'm more impulse that actual thought."

"Lizzy there was never a time I doubted you. You may be a Slayer but you do have Watcher genes, you know, you think more like one than you want to. You do think things through; you never could have lived without Dawn."

"I used to though. There were real Slayer years when I knew I was pushing Mom away and I made it through." Buffy said with a bitter laugh putting her coffee down. "I push people away, it's my thing."

"Not every is willing to get pushed away."

"Like who? Who hasn't left me, Greg?"

"You friends, Aunt Joyce, that boyfriend of yours that you used to talk so much about, the Grandparents, and me. I never left you, Lizzy."

"You went to England, left the country. My Mom and Dawn and the Gang they let me push them away. When I went all Slayer, they didn't notice. When I smiled through my tears, they never stopped to ask what was wrong. Giles has done things that I'm not sure I can forgive, I know that is part of being a Watcher but I hate it. I can't trust him like I used to."

"Well, what about your boyfriends?"

Buffy burst out laughing, "They all stick around. Angel went evil on me, then left. Riley, he couldn't take the Slayer-ness of me. I shut down, emotionally, sometimes when the end is super near. He couldn't deal with that. Also I was a mess from the Angel thing."

"Joyce worried about you, but she never thought that you didn't love her or Dawn. She loved you, and she never wanted to push you away. Dawn looks at you like you could do no wrong, you're her hero."

"That is the worst feeling in the world. You know, after Mom got the tumor, all I could think is it was Dawn's fault Mom was dieing. Those monks poked around in Mom's head, putting memories of Dawn in for all those years. Then I realized Dawn didn't hurt Mom, I did. If I wasn't a Slayer, Dawn would have never been put in our lives. Mom never would have gotten sick and she would still be here."

"You can't know that!"

"Can't I! I'm the reason she died, I knew I would kill the people I love: Death is my gift."

"Lizzy, you saved the world more times that anyone can count, death is not you gift."

"Yeah, I can save everyone but the people I care about. Celia was killed by a demon and I couldn't save her, I sent Angel to Hell, Mom is dead, I should be dead a few times now."

"I think you need to let it go. You saved the world and you were rewarded, but they didn't know that. They tried to save you and now they don't want to wish you were dead, but they regret what they did. Forgiveness, compassion, understanding used to be your gifts, but I guess you're right now death is you're only gift. You're killing your self with all of this hatred." Greg stood and began to leave, when Buffy grabbed his arm.

"Where do you get off saying that to me?"

"Look out that window; see that cemetery you belong there slaying because you're sure not Lizzy anymore."

"Greg!" Buffy called after him, but he never even looked back.

"Greg! You look horrible, what happened?"

"Not sure you'd believe me Tab."

"I'm a Watcher, how unbelievable can it be."

"I went to see my cousin"

"That doesn't sound too horrible."

"We had a fight."

"Still not the end of the world."

"No but she's stopped the end of the world, a few times."

"Greg, English please!"

"That girl, Lizzy, she's my cousin. She needed help, so I went. Only problem, after we solved that problem she left. I went to find her, and we got in a fight. I basically told her to go to Hell."

"Look, I know family fights are tough but…"

"Lizzy lives in Sunnydale."

"Sunnydale…Sunnydale…why does that sound familiar."

"The Slayer lives there."

"Oh that's it! You were always up on you current events more than I was. I mean who cares where the Slayer lives, just as long as she fights the demons."

"Lizzy is the Slayer."

"No, sweetie, the Slayer's name is Buffy."

"Me and Celia, my sister, we called Buffy Lizzy. It turned out to be useful. While I was at the academy, if L…Buffy needed anything she'd call. I'd talk to Lizzy; the Watchers assumed a sister, a girlfriend, whatever didn't matter. Lizzy got her information and I knew she was still alive." Greg turned looking at the door. Someone had knocked. "You expecting anyone?"

"No."

Greg swung open the door, ready for a fight.

"I'm sorry, you're right, I was being an ass." Buffy rushed out before he could slam the door shut.

"What are you doing?"

"Apologizing, I don't do it often so listen. I said things that I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry. I lost myself at some point and I'm pretty sure it happened before I threw myself off the tower. I knew going into every fight that not everyone would come out alive. I've known that since I lost Watcher One. But I wasn't supposed to lose people outside of battle." She stopped, looking down. "They were supposed to be safe, as long as they weren't in the fight. So when Mom died, I put her in the fight."

"What?" Greg asked confused, "How did you put her in the fight."

"The monks messed with our heads, which put her in the fight. It was a battle wound that killed her. So then whose fault was the wound? I couldn't blame Mom, not even in the beginning. Dawn? That was easy, she wasn't my sister; she was a ball of energy. A ball of energy is hateable. Then it became clearer she was my sister, her origins didn't matter. Hating family is harder, especially when they could be lost at any time. So then I realized, 'You're the leader, you should have saved her.' That is when I started letting go, really letting go. If I let my mother die of a battle wound, who would I save? And it struck me Dawn would die, I would die, the whole world would die, because I couldn't save them. I still fought, I just half assed it. Then, it started to happen, Dawn got taken. I knew I failed her, so I shut down. It's hard to feel if you can go numb. My friends made me fight. We drew up a plan, which involved me killing anyone who tried to hurt Dawn. The ritual started, and I jumped." Tears were running down her face as Greg pulled her into a hug. "I jumped. I died. I went to Heaven. Now I'm alive in Hell, but I'm trying to be better; to feel better. Help me?"

"Always, Lizzy, always.

* * *

AN- Sorry!! But look it's up now, right? Forgive me??


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